How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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A city worker, came home with a caution ford his wife, who refused to wear underwear. Apparently a new ordinance had been passed directly addressing her situation:
ORDINANCE #34-A12: All manholes must be covered.

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Today I saw a Billy goat; we had a little laugh
He said he was quite hungry; so he nibbled on my scarf
I said, "Why have you done that?"; and he answered with a bleat
"I had a hat for breakfast; so the set is now complete."

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I had so much fun with my children while they were growing up. My youngest liked to be surprised so obliged. Our house has two flights of stairs and a landing between floors. One night I after I sent him off to bed I sneaked up the first flight until I was even with where he was on the second flight. When I popped up and started talking to him he was startled and yelled out. We both collapsed in laughter. My other child and husband came running to see what all the commotion was and left shaking their heads. Too bad! Their loss! We were having a great time.

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@2011panc

Today I saw a Billy goat; we had a little laugh
He said he was quite hungry; so he nibbled on my scarf
I said, "Why have you done that?"; and he answered with a bleat
"I had a hat for breakfast; so the set is now complete."

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@2011panc Thanks for the jokes. After our Thanksgiving meal we have a talent show and I'm doing jokes this year. You have some good ones since we have children in our group

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@2011panc

I had so much fun with my children while they were growing up. My youngest liked to be surprised so obliged. Our house has two flights of stairs and a landing between floors. One night I after I sent him off to bed I sneaked up the first flight until I was even with where he was on the second flight. When I popped up and started talking to him he was startled and yelled out. We both collapsed in laughter. My other child and husband came running to see what all the commotion was and left shaking their heads. Too bad! Their loss! We were having a great time.

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@2011panc You and your son sound like me and my son. When he was in HS I sort of choked a couple of times so he took to coming up behind me and putting his arms around me in a mock Heimlich maneuver, all the time saying “she’s choking, she’s choking”. My husband would be yelling for us to stop, that someone was going to get hurt! We would end up collapsing on the floor laughing.
He had wanted us to jazz up the mother-son dance at his wedding but now with my fractured femur I told him I thought that was going to be impossible. He said that we would still make it good, that he would just have to eliminate the part where he was planning to throw me in the air! He keeps me laughing.
JK

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@contentandwell

@2011panc You and your son sound like me and my son. When he was in HS I sort of choked a couple of times so he took to coming up behind me and putting his arms around me in a mock Heimlich maneuver, all the time saying “she’s choking, she’s choking”. My husband would be yelling for us to stop, that someone was going to get hurt! We would end up collapsing on the floor laughing.
He had wanted us to jazz up the mother-son dance at his wedding but now with my fractured femur I told him I thought that was going to be impossible. He said that we would still make it good, that he would just have to eliminate the part where he was planning to throw me in the air! He keeps me laughing.
JK

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@contentandwell Children are the best, aren't they! Once when we were on vacation we found a sticky animal that you could throw at a smooth surface and watch it ooze down. My oldest and I were having a great time with it in our lunch booth next to the window . . . embarrassing my husband at the same time. "People are watching!" He hissed. That just made us laugh harder. Of course they were! It's lovely to see people enjoying themselves.

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Little Johnny had a terrible problem with cursing. His mother had done everything she could think of to make him stop, from scolding to washing out his mouth with soap. (By The Way: Dawn dish soap really dries your mouth out!) One Saturday she sent him to the market for crackers and cheese. On the way home he was not paying attention and fell into a puddle on the road. "Jesus Christ, God Almighty!" He exclaimed, just as the priest was walking by. "WHAT DID YOU SAY!?" The priest demanded. Little Johnny was not only foul-mouthed, he was very quick witted. He responded, "Cheese and crackers, got all muddy!"

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And for the children: Knock, knock. . . . Banana (repeat several times) Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Aren't you glad I didn't say banana again?

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@2011panc

@contentandwell Children are the best, aren't they! Once when we were on vacation we found a sticky animal that you could throw at a smooth surface and watch it ooze down. My oldest and I were having a great time with it in our lunch booth next to the window . . . embarrassing my husband at the same time. "People are watching!" He hissed. That just made us laugh harder. Of course they were! It's lovely to see people enjoying themselves.

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@2011panc I love that. My husband would have been the same!
We went through some tough times with my son in HS and college but I am so happy with the adult he is. I often say the jury was out for a long time but came back with a good verdict.
JK

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A priest, a rabbi and a Baptist minister went fishing in a small row boat. After a few hours the minister stood up, stretched and announced he was going to go to the bathroom. The rabbi groaned inside because that meant that either he would see the minister peeing over the side of the boat or they would all have to stop fishing and go to shore. But he was surprised when the minister stepped over the side of the boat, walked to shore, used the restroom and returned across the water.
After a little more time the priest stood up and repeated the minister's ritual, walking across the water to and from the shore.
The rabbi realized he needed to use the bathroom also, and rationalized that if the other two religions could walk on water, he would also be able to walk himself to shore. So he bravely stood, stretched, announced his turn and stepped over the side of the boat. He immediately sunk to the bottom of the lake and drowned.
The priest turned to the minister and said, "Do you suppose we should have told him where the stepping stones were?"

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