How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

@contentandwell

@jakedduck1 We always keep our doors locked, and we live in a very safe community but one never knows. My mother-in-law lived in a senior apartment building in MA and the residents were very friendly with each other and would visit back and forth so they left their doors unlocked. My mother-in-law had glaucoma so her vision was not great. She looked up and saw a man in her apartment! He immediately scooted out the door but after he left she discovered that her purse had been stolen. That left her very rattled as it would me also.
JK

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@jakeduck1
I only lock my door during the day if I know someone is not at home across the breezeway or if I see landscapers , bug men etc.
We are in a gated safe subdivision but, you are right, you never know. They can come in by boat and steal anything you leave outside and also shimmy under the gates. Our subdivision is on one of the inlets of the Anclote river. Our doors are open until bedtime because , like the senior place, there are always family members coming back and forth, especially before the kids went off to college. Can’t trust those seniors lol. I do love the back and forth and naw…nobody knocks if they’re family. My daughter will often come over with an empty wine glass because she knows I have vino phobia ….fear of running out of wine….so I am never without. Or they’re out of coffee creamer or I need a tablespoon of some spice from their kitchen or, and I’m waiting for this one, to tell them I won the lottery.

FL Mary

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@contentandwell

@2011panc I don't think 7/11 is open 24/7. LL Bean in Maine is though — 24/7, 365 days a year, and there are no locks on their doors, unless they have changed their hours.
JK

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@contentandwell The 7/11 in the not-so-near town to the south is open 24/7. As is the Walmart and the Winco, and a few gas stations. In the other direction [north], the large fuel station at the casino is open 24/7 for autos/RVs/big rigs. Our little town pretty much rolls up the sidewalks about 6PM. Yes, I keep the doors locked here, front and back, as we are on the outskirts of town. Law enforcement support is 30-45 minutes away, if they are available.
Ginger

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@gingerw
I would also keep doors locked being on the outskirts of town. That’s a long time to wait for the law to respond. Thankfully my son in law is a sheriffs department captain so he is just across the breezeway but his deputies are all over the area here so they are minutes away. Too many stores are open 24/7 in Florida and the 7//11s have been robbed so many times. I don’t like 7/11..kinda don’t like the people I see around them in some parts of Florida here. Always told my granddaughter never ever stop for gas at night but she’s a cops daughter and he taught his kids from day one how to keep themselves safe as he did with his nephews and nieces. My biggie to her was …don’t make eye contact….learned that at an early age riding them NY subways.

Are we still on how about a laugh? Doesn’t sound like it.

Here’s mine for the night……A TSA agent asked the photon at the airport if he had any luggage. No, said the photon, “I’m traveling light”

That’s all folks
FL Mary

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@gingerw

@contentandwell The 7/11 in the not-so-near town to the south is open 24/7. As is the Walmart and the Winco, and a few gas stations. In the other direction [north], the large fuel station at the casino is open 24/7 for autos/RVs/big rigs. Our little town pretty much rolls up the sidewalks about 6PM. Yes, I keep the doors locked here, front and back, as we are on the outskirts of town. Law enforcement support is 30-45 minutes away, if they are available.
Ginger

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@gingerw there is a Walmart about 15 miles away that is open 24 hours – I went there once with my daughter, back in the days when I was a “night owl”. That’s about it for 24 hour places, although there may be some gas stations in Manchester that are. I don’t know of any though.
Our town, a border town of Manchester, also rolls up the sidewalks after about 9:00 – where there are sidewalks, there are not many.
JK

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@contentandwell

@gingerw there is a Walmart about 15 miles away that is open 24 hours – I went there once with my daughter, back in the days when I was a “night owl”. That’s about it for 24 hour places, although there may be some gas stations in Manchester that are. I don’t know of any though.
Our town, a border town of Manchester, also rolls up the sidewalks after about 9:00 – where there are sidewalks, there are not many.
JK

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@contentandwell Our sidewalks are basically in town at the businesses. There is a sidewalk in front of our property because at one time there was going to be a housing development go in. The deer and foxes use it to get to their next wandering area.
Ginger

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@gingerw, That's the way Idyllwild is…no sidewalks except in front of the bank and some wooden ones where the shops are. And there are no street lights. So when people asked me why the stores all close at 5…..I just mention that walking along with no sidewalks and no lights…is a little risky. Not too many true villages left anymore. Sleep well, Chris

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@jakedduck1

@imallears
“I don’t know what I’m talking about right now lol.” What, like that’s some sort of revelation. We’ve always known that.
So you don’t get it, sounds like we have to keep the the jokes at the 4th grade level for you too.
Good idea to keep your doors locked in the day too.
I was resting on the couch when a man walked in and stood over me. I thought my time had come but he walked back out without saying a word.
Jake

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@jakedduck1 Guess he didn't want you Jake .

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The difference between men and women:
He gets up 2 hours before work, takes a shower, shaves, uses the bathroom,, brushes his teeth, starts coffee, puts bread in the toaster, takes out a plate bowl, spoon and knife, fills the bowl with cereal, gets dressed, makes the toast, pours coffee, adds milk to the bowl of cereal, puts margarine on the toast, takes everything to the table, reads the newspaper, finishes his breakfast and has an orange, piles his dishes by the sink, goes to the bathroom, combs his hair, brushes his teeth, readjusts his clothing, recombs his hair, finishes his coffee, rinses his mouth with mouthwash, checks his hair, puts on his jacket and goes to work.
She gets up 2 hours before work, starts breakfast for herself and the children, makes sure the 9 year old takes a shower, gives the 3 year old a bath, dresses the 3 year old, places the 3 year old at the table with the 9 year old to eat their breakfast, takes a shower, checks on the children, gets dressed, washes up the 3 year old and puts on his jacket just in time to take him out to the car pool, sends the 9 year old off to school, has a sip of coffee, cleans up the breakfast dishes, brushes her teeth and combs her hair, has another sip of coffee and leaves for work.
Anyone relate?

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A woman comes home after a doctor visit glowing and happy. Her husband asks what she is in such a good mood about, didn't she have a doctor's appointment? She replies that she had a very good doctor's appointment. Her skin is like that of a woman 20 years younger than she is, her BMI is in the normal range, and her flexibility is that of a 20 year old. Her husband asks if he didn't say anything about her fat ass, to which she pleasantly responded, "No, your name didn't come up."

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@2011panc

The difference between men and women:
He gets up 2 hours before work, takes a shower, shaves, uses the bathroom,, brushes his teeth, starts coffee, puts bread in the toaster, takes out a plate bowl, spoon and knife, fills the bowl with cereal, gets dressed, makes the toast, pours coffee, adds milk to the bowl of cereal, puts margarine on the toast, takes everything to the table, reads the newspaper, finishes his breakfast and has an orange, piles his dishes by the sink, goes to the bathroom, combs his hair, brushes his teeth, readjusts his clothing, recombs his hair, finishes his coffee, rinses his mouth with mouthwash, checks his hair, puts on his jacket and goes to work.
She gets up 2 hours before work, starts breakfast for herself and the children, makes sure the 9 year old takes a shower, gives the 3 year old a bath, dresses the 3 year old, places the 3 year old at the table with the 9 year old to eat their breakfast, takes a shower, checks on the children, gets dressed, washes up the 3 year old and puts on his jacket just in time to take him out to the car pool, sends the 9 year old off to school, has a sip of coffee, cleans up the breakfast dishes, brushes her teeth and combs her hair, has another sip of coffee and leaves for work.
Anyone relate?

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@2011panc Love it!

Liked by Leonard

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@2011panc

The difference between men and women:
He gets up 2 hours before work, takes a shower, shaves, uses the bathroom,, brushes his teeth, starts coffee, puts bread in the toaster, takes out a plate bowl, spoon and knife, fills the bowl with cereal, gets dressed, makes the toast, pours coffee, adds milk to the bowl of cereal, puts margarine on the toast, takes everything to the table, reads the newspaper, finishes his breakfast and has an orange, piles his dishes by the sink, goes to the bathroom, combs his hair, brushes his teeth, readjusts his clothing, recombs his hair, finishes his coffee, rinses his mouth with mouthwash, checks his hair, puts on his jacket and goes to work.
She gets up 2 hours before work, starts breakfast for herself and the children, makes sure the 9 year old takes a shower, gives the 3 year old a bath, dresses the 3 year old, places the 3 year old at the table with the 9 year old to eat their breakfast, takes a shower, checks on the children, gets dressed, washes up the 3 year old and puts on his jacket just in time to take him out to the car pool, sends the 9 year old off to school, has a sip of coffee, cleans up the breakfast dishes, brushes her teeth and combs her hair, has another sip of coffee and leaves for work.
Anyone relate?

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@2011panc
Yeah a big difference, the guy does 31 things the wife does 19. Poor guy, husband need to delegate a few responsibilities to the wife to make things a little more fair. I wonder how long this inequity has been going on.
Jake

Liked by imallears

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@jakeduck1
You counted ? You had time to count? 32 things for one person and 19 things for one person with 2 extra people to care for?
Statistics for WORKING PARENTS

WOMEN………………..MEN
HOUSEWORK 85% 69%
LAUNDRY 49% 19%
FOOD PREP/CLEANUP 68% 42%
PHYSICAL CHILD CARE 1.1 hrs 26 minutes
NEW BABY (increase in
Work load) 21 hrs a week 12.5 hrs a week

But who’s counting?

FL Mary

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@jakeduck1
This didn’t line up right but it’s 1.1 hours for women vs 26 minutes for men for child care. Wonder why Ipad didn’t line up correctly. When I have time I’ll check into it.

FL Mary

Liked by Leonard

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@imallears

@jakeduck1
You counted ? You had time to count? 32 things for one person and 19 things for one person with 2 extra people to care for?
Statistics for WORKING PARENTS

WOMEN………………..MEN
HOUSEWORK 85% 69%
LAUNDRY 49% 19%
FOOD PREP/CLEANUP 68% 42%
PHYSICAL CHILD CARE 1.1 hrs 26 minutes
NEW BABY (increase in
Work load) 21 hrs a week 12.5 hrs a week

But who’s counting?

FL Mary

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@imallears
Female propaganda
Jake

Liked by imallears

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@jakeduck1
Chortle

FL Mary

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