How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

@stuckonu
That was a good one, thanks for the laugh.
Jake

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@jakedduck1

@stuckonu
That was a good one, thanks for the laugh.
Jake

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Thanks Leo, I guess you figured out that it wasn’t a “ consumer “ that that the doc was asking about. What would the operation be called that removes the “ spell checker “?
I wonder what the best mistake ever made by “ spell checker “

When “ The Twist “ was the number 1 song and the number 1 dance my mother thought that
Cubby Checker was a Fat Taxi

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@stuckonu

Thanks Leo, I guess you figured out that it wasn’t a “ consumer “ that that the doc was asking about. What would the operation be called that removes the “ spell checker “?
I wonder what the best mistake ever made by “ spell checker “

When “ The Twist “ was the number 1 song and the number 1 dance my mother thought that
Cubby Checker was a Fat Taxi

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@stuckonu
lol, I never even noticed to error. Shows where my minds at.
Jake

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Five NFL players decided to climb a mountain during the off season. They met at the base of the mountain, got their gear together and started the climb. Things went very well and they climbed steadily until 11 am when they stopped for a quick sandwich and hydration. During their break they began discussing the state of the world and all the problems going on now. After a while the Seahawks player stood up, walked to the side of their campsite and said I need to do more than talk about things; I need to take action! Then he faced away from the camp, yelled, "I dedicate my life to my team, the Seahawks, and all of Northwest USA!" and ran off the ledge. The other three sat stunned to silence for a few minutes. Then the player from Chicago stood up and announced that he, also, was going to take action rather than just talking. As he ran toward the ledge he yelled, "I dedicate my life to the Bears and all of Chicago!" By now a pattern was set, so when the man from Green Bay stood up the other two thought they knew what was going to happen. But the were wrong. The Packer said, "I dedicate my actions and these lives to the betterment of the entire world!" And threw off the Viking and the Bronco.

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A few years ago my husband and I were running errands and stopped by McDonalds for a refresher. I stepped up to the counter and ordered a coffee. The young man behind the counter efficiently rang up the purchase and asked, "How would you like it?" I stood stunned for a second running through 'over easy', 'medium-well', etc. in my mind. Nothing seemed appropriate so I responded, "In a cup?" My husband chocked behind me and the young man completely stopped all movement and met my eyes. I kind of shrugged and he handed me a cup of black coffee. I grabbed napkins and ketchup for my husband and found a seat. When he sat down he was still chuckling and asked if I did not realize the counterman was asking if I wanted cream or sugar. Lifting my eyebrows I responded that of course I didn't think of that or I wouldn't have suggested a cup. I still chuckle when I think about it.

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Note to self: Do not purchase rocking recliners when you have motion sickness.

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An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost.
Wandering about, he notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!”

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the lion is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!," says the lion, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the lion. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the lion.

The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!”

Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says……..

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!”

Moral of this story…

Don't mess with the old dogs… Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!

Bull and brilliance only come with age and experience.

Of course, I am in no way insinuating that you are old, just 'youthfully challenged’.

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Colleen to Jake 🤐🤭

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After returning from her doctor appointment her husband asked her if he discovered anything new? She told her husband that the doctor said her breasts were youthful and beautiful. Her husband asked “ And what did he say about your old fat ass? “ The wife replied: “ Your name never came up “

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@stuckonu
Another burst out laughing one!
FL Mary

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@stuckonu

After returning from her doctor appointment her husband asked her if he discovered anything new? She told her husband that the doctor said her breasts were youthful and beautiful. Her husband asked “ And what did he say about your old fat ass? “ The wife replied: “ Your name never came up “

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@stuckonu
I liked that, got any more to keep us laughing?
Jake

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@jakedduck1

@stuckonu
I liked that, got any more to keep us laughing?
Jake

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This is not a joke but it is funny: a mental health social worker thinks that I have a unique sense of humor so to my complaints of not having many friends especially with the sudden unexpected lose of 4 within one year he suggested that I take this 4 session standup comedy class. So this month I’m going to do it. Meanwhile I have a few funny ones that can be told here without upsetting the sensibilities of a few who are easily offended. I actually worried that the last joke was on the edge of acceptable. But it still makes me laugh. I love quick Witt Did you read the one I posted in another post about “ You are what you eat”?

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