How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

@jakedduck1

@2011panc
Yeah a big difference, the guy does 31 things the wife does 19. Poor guy, husband need to delegate a few responsibilities to the wife to make things a little more fair. I wonder how long this inequity has been going on.
Jake

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1 To be fair, the guy did several things repeatedly and micro reported the details of his activities; while the gal only listed the jobs she did. Notice that he addressed mouth and hair care several times while she included that in getting ready.

Liked by Leonard, imallears

REPLY

@2011panc
I think men are basically self centered and delusional about the amount of time they spend on domestic chores. But we still love them. Remember guys, we’ll never shoot you if you are doing the dishes but putting a towel in the washing machine is not “doing the laundry”.

And ladies, don’t you just love the detailed instructions on how to fold a fitted sheet? After I do that I’ll go and make little smiley faces on the pancakes to make everyone’s day happier before I jump in the shower with my homemade soaps. Move over Martha Stewart, Phyllis Diller is my idol.

FL Mary

REPLY

How to fold a fitted sheet:
Husband: Look for a corner. Not finding a corner, grab anywhere and ball it into as small a ball as you can.
Wife: Slip non-dominant hand into corner with seam on outside. Slide dominant hand down side to the next corner. Slip the corner over your non-dominant hand with the seams touching each other and the finished seam on the outside. Slide dominant hand down side to the third corner. Continue by repeating from the beginning. Lay your pocketed sheet on the bed and straighten the sides. Fold sides together until sheet is small enough to fit into a pillow case.

Finish folding a sheet set:
Fold flat sheet by matching sides until sheet is small enough to fit in a pillow case. Fold one pillow case to the size of the folded sheets. Place the sheets and folded pillowcase into remaining pillow case. Fold side over and place in storage.

REPLY

@2011panc
Funny! I’m with the husband.

FL Mary

Liked by lioness, Leonard

REPLY
@imallears

@2011panc
I think men are basically self centered and delusional about the amount of time they spend on domestic chores. But we still love them. Remember guys, we’ll never shoot you if you are doing the dishes but putting a towel in the washing machine is not “doing the laundry”.

And ladies, don’t you just love the detailed instructions on how to fold a fitted sheet? After I do that I’ll go and make little smiley faces on the pancakes to make everyone’s day happier before I jump in the shower with my homemade soaps. Move over Martha Stewart, Phyllis Diller is my idol.

FL Mary

Jump to this post

@imallears
Example of a delusional man,
https://m.facebook.com/adele.purser1/posts/2568535659928019?_rdr
Jake

REPLY

@jakeduck
Link is broken and not on Facebook

FL Mary

Liked by Leonard

REPLY
@2011panc

How to fold a fitted sheet:
Husband: Look for a corner. Not finding a corner, grab anywhere and ball it into as small a ball as you can.
Wife: Slip non-dominant hand into corner with seam on outside. Slide dominant hand down side to the next corner. Slip the corner over your non-dominant hand with the seams touching each other and the finished seam on the outside. Slide dominant hand down side to the third corner. Continue by repeating from the beginning. Lay your pocketed sheet on the bed and straighten the sides. Fold sides together until sheet is small enough to fit into a pillow case.

Finish folding a sheet set:
Fold flat sheet by matching sides until sheet is small enough to fit in a pillow case. Fold one pillow case to the size of the folded sheets. Place the sheets and folded pillowcase into remaining pillow case. Fold side over and place in storage.

Jump to this post

@2011panc My husband does sheet folding better than I do, he's more patient.

You know what they say – "Men, you can't live with them…" end of quote. Also, a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
JK

REPLY
@imallears

@2011panc
Funny! I’m with the husband.

FL Mary

Jump to this post

@imallears I sort my paper clips. Whatcha gonna do?! lol

REPLY

The first grade teacher asked Mary a subtraction question. "If a farmer has 6 sheep in the pen and one gets out, how many are left?"
Mary was relieved and quickly answered None.
The teacher told her that was incorrect, the correct answer is 5.
The next day the exchange between the teacher and Mary was repeated; with Mary stating None was correct and the teacher saying that 5 was the correct answer.
Finally the teacher was frustrated and went to the principal. Final testing would be held the following week and if Mary continued to answer "None", she would fail.
The principal met with Mary and explained how important the correct answer was and that if she gave the wrong answer on her final tests she would have to stay in the first grade.
Mary was sad all day, but didn't know what to do. If she gave the correct answer she would have to stay in the first grade and she really wanted to advance with all her friends to the second grade. But the minister and her parents always told her to tell the truth, so she couldn't give the answer the teacher and principal wanted because that would be a lie.
The next morning after the same exchange between Mary and the teacher, the teacher decided to take things in her own hands and went to visit Mary's mother.
Mary's mother was extremely busy, cleaning, doing laundry, and butchering 5 chickens for the dinner she needed to make for her family and the workers that evening. Mary's mother really did not have time to sit down and drink coffee with the teacher, so she was rather brusque and short.
After the teacher explained the situation she waited for Mary's mother to tell her she was right and Mary would be disciplined at home that evening.
"Mary's right." Replied her mother.
The teacher thought that maybe Mary's mother did not understand addition and subtraction, so she started to explain and teach Mary's mother why the correct answer was 5 and not None.
Before the teacher said 10 words Mary's mother stopped her and asked, "Did you grow up on a farm or ranch?"
"No," replied the teacher.
"That figures," replied Mary's mother. "If you ever had anything to do with sheep you would know that if one got out they all got out and she would be chasing them to get them all back into the pen."

REPLY

A local lad lost an eye in a farming accident. This really affected his self-confidence and he stayed home for months. Finally he determined to go to the barn dance the coming weekend. His friends welcomed him and were glad to see him, but he couldn't work up the nerve to ask any of the gals to dance. He loved to dance, so near the end of the night he decided to ask a very pretty girl that had been sitting near the band all night. No one had asked her to dance, so he thought he maybe had a chance.
He squared his shoulders and approached her with a firm step and asked her if she would like to dance with him. She jumped up immediately and excitedly said, "Wouldn't I?" He was a little hurt that she had named his deformity out loud, but she had already turned to go toward the dance floor. He noticed that she was moving slowly and slightly limping. When he looked down he saw that she had a false leg.
Suddenly he stopped and yelled out, "Wooden Leg! Wooden Leg!", turned and left the dance.

Wait for it to register.

Liked by Leonard

REPLY

Son asked his mother the following question:

'Mum, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies,

'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

REPLY
@jakedduck1

Son asked his mother the following question:

'Mum, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies,

'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1 Ooooh, shaking my head, gonna sit on the sidelines and watch the fireworks…..
Ginger

REPLY
@gingerw

@jakedduck1 Ooooh, shaking my head, gonna sit on the sidelines and watch the fireworks…..
Ginger

Jump to this post

@gingerw
Just shaking your head? I thought you’d be laughing hysterically. Things have been a little slow, just trying to bring a little life to the party.
I’m surprised it hasn’t been yanked. I saw it on the Coping With Epilepsy website.
I hope no one gets their tail in a knot.
Jake

REPLY
@jakedduck1

@gingerw
Just shaking your head? I thought you’d be laughing hysterically. Things have been a little slow, just trying to bring a little life to the party.
I’m surprised it hasn’t been yanked. I saw it on the Coping With Epilepsy website.
I hope no one gets their tail in a knot.
Jake

Jump to this post

@jakeduck1

Thanks @jakeduck1…we have to be able to laugh at ourselves so…

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

FL Mary

REPLY

Why did the skeletons want to cross the road??? To get to the body shop

REPLY
Please login or register to post a reply.