How about a laugh, (hopefully)

With Farmers' Markets beginning springtime operations, here is one for you.

In the rolling countryside, there was a monestery where the monks tended beautiful gardens with veggies and fruits. There was one particular monk who had a green thumb for raising beautiful flowers. So, he decided to share the overabundant flowers at the local farmers market, and soon word spread and people came from all of the neighboring towns to buy these blooms.
Well, it didn't take long before the town began receiving complaints about the parking and traffic problems that this was causing. So they asked the monk to take his flowers elsewhere, but he politely refused and the traffic complaints continued. Multiple attempts to disuade the monk, were not getting anywhere, and the problem even became a major topic that stumped the city council. It seemed that there was no resolution that anyone could find...until one day the mayor was talking to a friend about this impossible situation. The friend told the mayor that he knew the perfect solution. He told the mayor to call a man named Hugh.

"Why should I call Hugh?" asked the mayor in disbelief when nothing else had worked. How could Hugh help us?

His friend replied, "Only Hugh can prevent florist friars".

@rosemarya
Just great!!! Thanks for the laugh, Rosemary

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Helicopter Ride

Walter took his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, "Ethel, you know that I'd love to go for a ride in that helicopter." But Ethel would always reply, "I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

Finally, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, "Ethel, you know I'm 87 years old now. If I don't ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance." Once again Ethel replied, "Walter, you know that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple's conversation and said, "Listen folks, I'll make a deal with you. I'll take both of you for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say just one word, it's 50 dollars."

Walter and Ethel agreed and up they went in the helicopter. The pilot performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by either Walter or Ethel. The pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still there wasn't so much as one word said. When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Walter and said, "Wow! I've got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn't. I'm really impressed!"

Walter replied, "Well to be honest I almost said something when Ethel fell out but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!"

In my opinion these aren’t really funny, they are facts.

I have a passion for not cooking.

My cooking is fabulous even the smoke alarm is cheering me on.

The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house!

I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food

My favorite thing to make for dinner is RESERVATIONS.

The most beautiful words other than I love you. “NO COOKING, CLEANING OR LAUNDRY TODAY”

Why yes, I’ve discovered the JOY of cooking. It’s when my husband does the cooking.

This evening’s forecast includes a 0% chance of me cooking.

I LOVE THIS ONE - I hate when I go to the kitchen for food and all I find are ingredients.

No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize. NOTE FROM ME, Everything I cook comes with an apology-That’s the main ingredient.

Jake

#jakeduck

During labor, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a cold.
Jake

This is suppose to be a joke but it sounds like an excellent idea. I’ll have to try it.

Why don't men cook at home?
No one's invented a steak that will fit in the toaster.
Jake

@jakedduck1 Good thing I was sitting alone in my car when I read these!
Ginger