1. < Depression & Anxiety

Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children

Posted by kdo0827 @kdo0827, Dec 27, 2018

Hi everyone! It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I started taking Cymbalta and got off the other stuff. I was doing better but the past 2 months or so not so good. I’m struggling with feeling invisible and I’m feeling very unappreciated. I feel my kids only call when they want something or have a problem. They never ask how I’m feeling nor do they try and help. I had a procedure done yesterday and neither one bothered to check on me. Adding this to my depression isn’t good. Do any of you have these same feelings about your kids?What should I do?

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jmalibu | @jmalibu | Jan 9, 2019

Have the same feeling....don't know what to do either....wish sometimes I wouldn't even wake in the morning....some people can deal with that much stress....or they hide it well....I don't.....at a total loss of what I can do to get myself out of this.....

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3 replies
Parus | @parus | Jan 9, 2019
In reply to @jmalibu "Have the same feeling....don't know what to do either....wish sometimes I wouldn't even wake in the..." + (show)
@jmalibu

Have the same feeling....don't know what to do either....wish sometimes I wouldn't even wake in the morning....some people can deal with that much stress....or they hide it well....I don't.....at a total loss of what I can do to get myself out of this.....

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@jmalibu I come here for encouragement, support and to learn.

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Jan 9, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@lioness Certified Zentangle Teacher - I am doing the training in June" + (show)
@gingerw

@lioness Certified Zentangle Teacher - I am doing the training in June

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@gingerw , have you ever seen the zentangle quilts? Wow! Check Pinterest

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1 reply
Jane S. Brown | @macjane | Jan 9, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@lioness Certified Zentangle Teacher - I am doing the training in June" + (show)
@gingerw

@lioness Certified Zentangle Teacher - I am doing the training in June

Jump to this post

What is CZT. I started DBT and sometimes it takes a little time for me to get into it but I see definite improvement. Today I did have a bad day physically but hope tomorrow is an improvement. Jane

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catcatanzaro60 | @catcatanzaro60 | Jan 9, 2019
In reply to @phxlife "Oh how I understand. We moms sometimes just need our adult kids to take time for..." + (show)
@phxlife

Oh how I understand. We moms sometimes just need our adult kids to take time for us, listen to us....really listen and care, don’t fix it just tell us things like: “mom that must be so hard for you, how can I best help you?” Or: “gosh mom, I didn’t realize you have the amount of chronic pain you have and how it’s so easy for you to feel invisible.”

I’m in my late 50’s, and I’ve had to tell our 3 kids (22-29) that sometimes I need them to do this, and I give them specific examples of what would be good ways to also pour into me, as my husband and I do for them.

I know it’s common for we older moms to feel invisible and like we don’t have much to offer anymore. It makes sense! We spent YEARS and thousands of hours “directing household traffic” and then it can feel like we’re no longer needed in so many ways.

Yes, I do agree with the fact that we were probably all that way in our 20’s, but it can be talked through so that even our needs can be met.

Our 33 year old son in law, and his 2 adult brothers, still to this day talk on the phone with their parents once/week! Every Sunday around dinner time. They let the parents FT with the grandkids. At first I thought this was controlling on his parents’ part, and just plain weird. But now having heard some of these conversations, and see him FT them, it is such a blessing on both sides. They are connected in a way they never otherwise would be.

You’re not invisible because I see you and care about you! And so do many others on here. 💗

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I still say all families should stay together as much as possible. Christians know the Lord says to honor and respect your parents or it will not go well. We all need to love one another and look for all ways to respect and remember each other. No excuses Just how I feel.

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1 reply
654321 | @654321 | Jan 9, 2019
In reply to @jmalibu "Have the same feeling....don't know what to do either....wish sometimes I wouldn't even wake in the..." + (show)
@jmalibu

Have the same feeling....don't know what to do either....wish sometimes I wouldn't even wake in the morning....some people can deal with that much stress....or they hide it well....I don't.....at a total loss of what I can do to get myself out of this.....

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I hate to hear you say that. Get up have a cup of coffee or tea. Say a prayer and Hit that phone and check in with us. You have a lot to give and need to be where you are. God bless you !

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lioness | @lioness | Jan 9, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@lioness Certified Zentangle Teacher - I am doing the training in June" + (show)
@gingerw

@lioness Certified Zentangle Teacher - I am doing the training in June

Jump to this post

@gingerw Oh yes Got the CT didn't think of Zentangle good for you

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lioness | @lioness | Jan 9, 2019
In reply to @becsbuddy "@gingerw , have you ever seen the zentangle quilts? Wow! Check Pinterest" + (show)
@becsbuddy

@gingerw , have you ever seen the zentangle quilts? Wow! Check Pinterest

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@gingerw No I haven't but have seen Amish quilts

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Moderator
Lisa Lucier, Moderator | @lisalucier | Jan 10, 2019
In reply to @kdo0827 "Thank you. I’ll try to post tomorrow. One of my colon issues is due to taking..." + (show)
@kdo0827

Thank you. I’ll try to post tomorrow. One of my colon issues is due to taking Methadone. It affects the nerves in the colon so that the colon doesn’t get all the signals to empty. Once again we take a medication for one thing but it causes something else 😑

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Hi, @kdo0827 - just wondering how things went with your colonoscopy?

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1 reply
kdo0827 | @kdo0827 | Jan 10, 2019

It was ok. I was thrilled when they put me to sleep 😂
Praise God they didn’t find cancer! They did find out several other issues such as IBS, Diverticulitis, damaged colon, etc. I may have surgery in the future but not now that I know of. Thanks for asking. It means a lot!

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