Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children

Posted by kdo0827 @kdo0827, Dec 27, 2018

Hi everyone! It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I started taking Cymbalta and got off the other stuff. I was doing better but the past 2 months or so not so good. I’m struggling with feeling invisible and I’m feeling very unappreciated. I feel my kids only call when they want something or have a problem. They never ask how I’m feeling nor do they try and help. I had a procedure done yesterday and neither one bothered to check on me. Adding this to my depression isn’t good. Do any of you have these same feelings about your kids?What should I do?

@merpreb

All- I think that we need to use names (@____) when replying or making a post. It's very confusing without them. Thanks

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@merpreb Thank you as I have been confused at times about some comments. There are times I comment about a post without having any particular member in mind. Just some of my input. I will keep this in mind as well in future comments.

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@parus

@merpreb Thank you as I have been confused at times about some comments. There are times I comment about a post without having any particular member in mind. Just some of my input. I will keep this in mind as well in future comments.

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You could open up a new discussion so others could respond. It's a community forum.

Liked by Parus, lioness

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@merpreb

You could open up a new discussion so others could respond. It's a community forum.

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@merpreb I meant to tell you I like this picture but was use to other one I think you had your hair up

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@merpreb

All- I think that we need to use names (@____) when replying or making a post. It's very confusing without them. Thanks

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I agree can we?

Liked by Parus

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@654321

I agree can we?

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@654321 – yes

Liked by Parus

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Great I am Lida

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@654321

Great I am Lida

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@lida– Hello

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Hello – since the vast majority of the conversation in this discussion, "Down in the dumps again," related to issues arising with relationships with adult children, with permission from @kdo0827, who started the thread, I've changed the discussion title to "Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children."

Wondering if perhaps @mickj @kdo0827 @thankful @parus @macjane @sandicel @catcatanzaro60 or others may have any updates to share with how things are going with your adult children and how you are feeling about it? @654321 – have you also dealt with issues related to your adult children?

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I'm almost 37 and therefore probably have more of a perspective on your kids. As someone else said, and I've heard this before, people just don't have the maturity for caring for their parents in that way until they get a bit older. I even still feel like I'm not good at this because I have health issues of my own, and have fallen back into the child role being taken care of by the parent.

This isn't too minimize your struggles at all because what you're feeling is valid. I wonder if you could find a way to tell them that you enjoy talking to them. It doesn't have to be confrontational or anything, you could just say you had fun talking on whatever day. Or you could call them just to talk and later say that you enjoyed the conversation. It could be more of a natural increase that way and they may not even realize it.

You could also email them or use other methods of contact. I know I greatly prefer email and I only ever email my dad – I don't think I've talked on the phone to him in months.

Also the fact that they contact you with problems might show that they trust you and view you as someone who can take care of them, so it can be a good thing. Sometimes I feel like I only email my dad with car problems, but I love him more than life. I do nowadays try to email him just to say hi because I started to realize that he enjoys hearing from me. It just didn't really occur to me before.

Good luck dealing with everything – we are all here to help.

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@enska What a nice post I'm 76 and found that you don't bother them at work with a call but if I have to talk I email him and he,ok answer back when he has time ,thanks for posting

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@enska

I'm almost 37 and therefore probably have more of a perspective on your kids. As someone else said, and I've heard this before, people just don't have the maturity for caring for their parents in that way until they get a bit older. I even still feel like I'm not good at this because I have health issues of my own, and have fallen back into the child role being taken care of by the parent.

This isn't too minimize your struggles at all because what you're feeling is valid. I wonder if you could find a way to tell them that you enjoy talking to them. It doesn't have to be confrontational or anything, you could just say you had fun talking on whatever day. Or you could call them just to talk and later say that you enjoyed the conversation. It could be more of a natural increase that way and they may not even realize it.

You could also email them or use other methods of contact. I know I greatly prefer email and I only ever email my dad – I don't think I've talked on the phone to him in months.

Also the fact that they contact you with problems might show that they trust you and view you as someone who can take care of them, so it can be a good thing. Sometimes I feel like I only email my dad with car problems, but I love him more than life. I do nowadays try to email him just to say hi because I started to realize that he enjoys hearing from me. It just didn't really occur to me before.

Good luck dealing with everything – we are all here to help.

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thank you

Liked by Elizabeth

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@lisalucier

Hello – since the vast majority of the conversation in this discussion, "Down in the dumps again," related to issues arising with relationships with adult children, with permission from @kdo0827, who started the thread, I've changed the discussion title to "Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children."

Wondering if perhaps @mickj @kdo0827 @thankful @parus @macjane @sandicel @catcatanzaro60 or others may have any updates to share with how things are going with your adult children and how you are feeling about it? @654321 – have you also dealt with issues related to your adult children?

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Not much has changed as far as my kids go. But there’s a big change in me. My psychiatrist put me on Adderral last week to try and get me some energy and to work on me wanting to leave the house. My energy has been great! Feeling more like myself. This is such a good change for me!

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@kdo0827 Glad to hear it is helping. Are you sleeping well on this medication?

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@lioness

@enska What a nice post I'm 76 and found that you don't bother them at work with a call but if I have to talk I email him and he,ok answer back when he has time ,thanks for posting

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I do the email thing to just touch base and seldom even text. I respect and understand how busy my children are. If I really need something I know I can let them know. Calls at work I would reserve for emergencies only. If there is something serious they are my emergency contact and will be contacted. They know this.

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@parus

@kdo0827 Glad to hear it is helping. Are you sleeping well on this medication?

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It’s touch and go. If I get up early and take it before 11 I tend to do better. I also just take 1 10mg per day instead of 2. The 1 gives me all the boost I need.

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