Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children

Posted by kdo0827 @kdo0827, Dec 27, 2018

Hi everyone! It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I started taking Cymbalta and got off the other stuff. I was doing better but the past 2 months or so not so good. I’m struggling with feeling invisible and I’m feeling very unappreciated. I feel my kids only call when they want something or have a problem. They never ask how I’m feeling nor do they try and help. I had a procedure done yesterday and neither one bothered to check on me. Adding this to my depression isn’t good. Do any of you have these same feelings about your kids?What should I do?

@kdo0827

Not much has changed as far as my kids go. But there’s a big change in me. My psychiatrist put me on Adderral last week to try and get me some energy and to work on me wanting to leave the house. My energy has been great! Feeling more like myself. This is such a good change for me!

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Wonderful

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I have two adult children (41, 43) the same thing has occurred with them even though I speak with them via text, email, FaceTime or in person (when they are in town) on a weekly basis. Seems to me that unless we tell them our expectations they don’t know or care, somewhat selfish on their part. Now I’m doing my own thing, or at least trying . Which means I tend to worry less, out of sight out of mind and don’t attempt to fix things for them. I certainly have cut back on the giving of things without a mutual respect of “thank you.” I have ended phone conversations that turn into “I know” on their part. Different times, I would not say it’s the best of time. Technology, jobs, friends, careers take time away from family togetherness. Sad.

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@lizzyisme

I have two adult children (41, 43) the same thing has occurred with them even though I speak with them via text, email, FaceTime or in person (when they are in town) on a weekly basis. Seems to me that unless we tell them our expectations they don’t know or care, somewhat selfish on their part. Now I’m doing my own thing, or at least trying . Which means I tend to worry less, out of sight out of mind and don’t attempt to fix things for them. I certainly have cut back on the giving of things without a mutual respect of “thank you.” I have ended phone conversations that turn into “I know” on their part. Different times, I would not say it’s the best of time. Technology, jobs, friends, careers take time away from family togetherness. Sad.

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@lizzyisme Know what you mean my son is 45 I'm lucky to hear from him while he is in car coming or going to work then I have to carry the conversation do you have same situation?

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@lioness

@lizzyisme Know what you mean my son is 45 I'm lucky to hear from him while he is in car coming or going to work then I have to carry the conversation do you have same situation?

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@lioness-My son is a year older. He's on the phone a lot so we don't talk often but we are in touch everyday with emails.

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@lizzyisme

I have two adult children (41, 43) the same thing has occurred with them even though I speak with them via text, email, FaceTime or in person (when they are in town) on a weekly basis. Seems to me that unless we tell them our expectations they don’t know or care, somewhat selfish on their part. Now I’m doing my own thing, or at least trying . Which means I tend to worry less, out of sight out of mind and don’t attempt to fix things for them. I certainly have cut back on the giving of things without a mutual respect of “thank you.” I have ended phone conversations that turn into “I know” on their part. Different times, I would not say it’s the best of time. Technology, jobs, friends, careers take time away from family togetherness. Sad.

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@lizzyisme I like to think they care. Many guys aren’t talkers. I have found since my son (33) has a son of his own we have more to talk about. They begin to better understand what being a parent is like. Talk a lot when they come by about all kinds of things. Being a grandma is a privilege and can see where I have learned things. Happy, happy to be a grandma.

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@merpreb

You could open up a new discussion so others could respond. It's a community forum.

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@merpreb Thank you but I am more of a follower. 😉

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@parus

@lizzyisme I like to think they care. Many guys aren’t talkers. I have found since my son (33) has a son of his own we have more to talk about. They begin to better understand what being a parent is like. Talk a lot when they come by about all kinds of things. Being a grandma is a privilege and can see where I have learned things. Happy, happy to be a grandma.

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@Paris me too it's a high in my life

Liked by Parus

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@lioness

@lizzyisme Know what you mean my son is 45 I'm lucky to hear from him while he is in car coming or going to work then I have to carry the conversation do you have same situation?

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With my kids We talk often about everything. Ask your son opened ended questions so he replies in more detail.

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@lizzyisme Great idea thanks

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@kdo0827

It’s touch and go. If I get up early and take it before 11 I tend to do better. I also just take 1 10mg per day instead of 2. The 1 gives me all the boost I need.

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@kdo0827 – just wanted to check in and see how you your spirits are lately, how your energy is and how the amphetamine and dextroamphetamine combination (Adderall) is going for you now that you've taken it for a bit?

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@lisalucier

@kdo0827 – just wanted to check in and see how you your spirits are lately, how your energy is and how the amphetamine and dextroamphetamine combination (Adderall) is going for you now that you've taken it for a bit?

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Thanks Lisa for checking in on me! I’m feeling much better. It’s like a new world has opened up. I have great energy which lasts 5 hours or so. On days I need additional energy I take 2. Most days I only take 1-10mg. Hope you’re doing and feeling well!

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@kdo0827

Thanks Lisa for checking in on me! I’m feeling much better. It’s like a new world has opened up. I have great energy which lasts 5 hours or so. On days I need additional energy I take 2. Most days I only take 1-10mg. Hope you’re doing and feeling well!

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@kdo0827– Great news!

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I at times struggle with being too visible. Always want my adult children to believe things are good. I am the only family they have. Just how I am.

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@parus– Good morning- Saying that you are too visible do you meant that you are in their lives and give advice or opinions too much? I'm not sure what you mean.

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@merpreb

@parus– Good morning- Saying that you are too visible do you meant that you are in their lives and give advice or opinions too much? I'm not sure what you mean.

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@merpreb Thank you for asking. I meant I do not want them to know how I struggle at times. I am not in the least a meddlesome mom. I enjoy hearing what they want to share. I went through a time feeling left out. I moved past that. I did not like the texting thing and now I enjoy it!! A good way to touch base. I no longer feel ignored when I get no reply. I am in the loop. Sometimes I try too hard. Things are better now since I have learned to relax some. Got wordy again. 🥴

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