Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children

Thks for the tip going to look for one.

@parus- I'll send him right over. lol

Sorry to hear about your heartache, and yes it truly can sometimes be a heartache when your child chooses to create a rather significant inconvenience to Mom than to postpone a nap time for your granddaughter, to pick you up at the airport, that is very thoughtless in my opinion. Have you tried sending her an email? Sometimes when you send your kids something in writing it resonates with them more and they think twice about how they're treating Mom lately. Things have to be spelled out clearly for some kids. I remember when my husband and I had to move from one state to the other because of health issues (no family close by and kids wanted us to move closer to SOMEONE! we have seven kids and most wanted us to live near them, one in London, one in Canada so that was out of the question). I was exhausted with stress at the time as my husband was in the hospital in the middle of packing, he's 84, I'm 83, and I called my eldest and really sounded off to her because of all the stress involved and next day one of my sons drove down from San Francisco and did the lion's share of the work..so it does pay off when you let your kids know exactly how you feel(in this case via another kid) and what you expect..at least in my case it did. What's the worst thing that could happen if you open up to them by either calling or writing? You sound completely overwhelmed and if you've been shouldering your burden by yourself all these years because you didn't want to add to their load, then it's time to clearly let them know you need them now. Good luck!

Hey y’all I need all of the help I can get!! I have been reading some insightful, encouraging and,oh yes, humorous comments. We can all have our moments. I know I have!! I did teach my children to be respectful of the boundaries of others and by golly they did listen. I know I started feeling better when I ceased all the worrying about them. I know I don’t want them worrying about me. Hey we have succeeded in more ways than we realize.

@hopeful33250 Oh my we certainly do. I have started to realize I am the only one to adjust my attitude as there is no one else to do so. I am guilty of groveling in my own gravy at times.

@parus I love your attitude! So upbeat! Need to work on mine!

@sandicel- Thank you dor you kind words! I'm so glad you have your faithful friend! Nothing like a pet who is often so loyal and shows their affection to us for the simplest things we do or say. I would not be so hard on yourself. I agree with what you say about getting out in the morning or at least sometime during the day. We make the choice each day to pull out a new canvas and lay down the beginnnings of the first brush strokes of our new day. Start with what I can be thankful for which can simply be a new sunrise? Today I choose.... May God replace your pain with Joy in this New Year! Jim @thankful

@becsbuddy Stay with us and we can be encouraging. We all need it at times. Mine requires constant maintenance. I may need to visit the chocolate factory though.

@parus thats what Im eating right now fudge. Chocolate not white yum

@afrobin- I agree with much of your suggestions, but your word burden sticks in my craw. I get that we can all become a burden using your word at times to our children or even spouse, but if you continue to let that word take on more power in our lives, there will be always be a reason to be more selfish rather than selfless. It has already become this way in so many instances in todays live choices. Recently I had a conversation with a dear older friend who now lives in the local retirement community and he told me how many of the residents don't even have family that visits them. I'm a fan of still having our loved ones come to live with us as long as we can take care of them, and I realize that is often not possible for everyone, but lets all reconsider the word burden especially when we think of our loved ones.