Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I"m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: 'why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude'. Or they don't hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: 'what do you have to be depressed about?' Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a 'why', not is it a 'choice'. It's almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that's what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don't want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it's harder and harder to 'push depression down' once it's popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy - but as I said, it's not a 'why'. I'm looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it's just me and there's no one else who feels this way -- 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

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anniegk | @anniegk | May 8, 2018

In reply to @nikki1234 "People that say get over it are ignorant and can kiss my ass, can you get..." + (show)

I wish it were that easy. For me, its the horrible Anxiety that i get and than i get depressed because i cant control the Anxiety. Iam on so many meds. But i still feel bad.

Parus | @parus | May 8, 2018

In reply to @nikki1234 "People that say get over it are ignorant and can kiss my ass, can you get..." + (show)

@donny67 These type of people certainly can be annoying and people like us are annoying to them. Even a psychologist does not get it !!! LHM...if a pill cannot fix something then our symptoms are all in our heads (pun intended or as anyone would like to interpret). I best not type another word lest someone suggest I read the my Bible and pray. Even depression existed in the OT.

Parus | @parus | May 8, 2018

In reply to @nikki1234 "People that say get over it are ignorant and can kiss my ass, can you get..." + (show)

Well, wonder what the price tag on these will be??

Parus | @parus | May 8, 2018

It would be helpful when someone comments if they would address to whom they are commenting with an @etc.

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | May 8, 2018

In reply to @parus "I have learned to not even mention the "D" word. Admitting thus has offered nothing except..." + (show)

@ladybugmg

Just good advice! I agree that a prepared patient will generally get treated with respect. If you come into the office organized with a detailed plan for what you want to discuss you will receive a more attention.

Doctors are scientifically minded folks who have a lot of respect for organized individuals who present their case in a thoughtful, organized and respectful manner.

I appreciate that reminder.

Teresa

Parus | @parus | May 8, 2018

In reply to @parus "I have learned to not even mention the "D" word. Admitting thus has offered nothing except..." + (show)

@hopeful33250 How is it this did not work for me-me thinketh some scientifically minded folks are intimidated by thus and become flustered when I presented in an organized manner. I am in search of another PCP the best ones are not taking any new patients. Where I am located I enter into a maze of examination rooms and honestly feel like a rat in search of cheese that is edible. I am striving to keep a sense of humor. This endeavor is exhausting. I know many experiencing the same so it is not just me. I would like to believe that all are doing the best they know how in this technological maze. It terrifies me to go to a medical facility. Something about this is not healthy. I have never experienced this type of thing in the past. Maybe it is my age. It must be-it has to be me.

Parus | @parus | May 8, 2018

In reply to @anniegk "The area where i live, our office calls are only 15 minutes long. I do have..." + (show)

@anniegk I know the feeling 🙁

Gail Benson Ledesma , Alumni Mentor | @gailb | May 8, 2018

In reply to @parus "It would be helpful when someone comments if they would address to whom they are commenting..." + (show)

@parus Thank you for asking for the @... to identify to whom the post is directed.
Gail
Volunteer Mentor

Lisa Lucier, Moderator | @lisalucier | May 8, 2018

In reply to @parus "It would be helpful when someone comments if they would address to whom they are commenting..." + (show)

@gailb and @parus -- yes, the @username is a great tool if you are directing your post to a certain individual in a discussion, want to name a few people in it, or want to bring someone not in the current discussion into it.

Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | May 9, 2018

These are just thoughts, not directed at anyone in particular.

Every family has their own history and stories to tell. I think that by setting other people up as happy, we make ourselves seem more miserable. Now I'm not saying that we make ourselves depressed, but I think that we increase our unhappiness by thinking that we are different and everyone else is happy. When I'm depressed I want to be like other people, not depressed. Misery loves company and we are sometimes our are own worst enemies. As youngsters, if we were unhappy at home we always thought that our neighbors were happier. I want to live next door, their lights looked cozier and more welcoming than mine.

When I was a child I lived across the street from a very large family. I loved this family, I had a crush on one of the sons too and I wanted to live with them. Later on I found out that the son had been sexually molesting his sister. That was not a happy family.

We imagine our misery in contrast to what we think others feel. How many people do we actually know who are honestly happy? I think that most people just go along and live there lives, find a balance and settle in. Life now is very hard due to the increase in hostilities around the world. Life is tough and produces a lot of angst, especially if we have cancer. Cancer is lousy and treatments are lousy. It maybe the first time we think about our own death. We question how long we have to live. These are all thoughts that are normal, natural and prevalent in the society of cancer. But this doesn't mean that other people are happy. It also doesn't mean that we will be stuck in this state forever.
I'm also sure that there is some genetics involved and chemical imbalances. For sure we need to attend to those and see if they can be remedied, but thinking that other people are happy, that next door is a happier home or that the person who travels all the time is blissful is setting ourselves up to slip lower in depression.
Merry