I'm Disappearing

Hi Judi- I can only imagine how very painful this is for you. Today my mother asked me ‘where’s Rachel?’ …. I laughed as my heart hurt and answered..”well, she’s right here.”

Tonite, she is acting strange and mean. It’s just awful and unpredictable. I gave up my life to be here to help out. She has no clue.

So many mental land mines to navigate. As much as I try to be lighthearted, it still hurts.

It’s the chronic loss, grieving and feeling invisible that is so hard: dementia is a very cruel disease, especially to the caregivers.
Judi, you are an amazing woman, a wonderful wife and you’re doing the best you can. I send you so much support and love. ❤️ make sure to take time for yourself-even if just small moments. You deserve happiness and love.

@gratia
Thank you for your kind words. I think we all deserve happiness and love, and here's hoping we get that sooner than later.
You are so kind and amazing too! 🤗

@tsch -you are so right! My husband is following in his sister’s path of MCI into Alzheimer’s…and his sister’s “healthy-ish” husband passed away just 3 days after she did. We all have to do things to help us stay health (as possible)! Take good care!

@gratia -totally agree! 💕My best to all in this group! Tho the details of everyone’s story vary, this is not an easy path for any…patients OR care partners!

@2me
Every person caring for someone with dementia should be recognized as a hero of a sort.. There is no happy outcome, just managing as best one can. The risk to health is definitely higher for the caregiver. The caregiver should utilize outside support and make time for themselves. This is critical for both the caregiver and the person they assist. Also, caregivers need to explore any state programs that may help them. They vary depending on where person lives but it is a tough road-no question about it. Good luck to you and I hope you live where you can get some assistance as needed.

@tsch
Did not mean to hurt you but the site guidelines clearly state we are not to diagnose.
That is what your comments said to me. I felt you had really no understanding of MCI or the guidelines of the group.
I don’t mind the statements— I mind the armchair diagnosis.

@tsch
Truly I am sorry I hurt you. You are correct. I was very angry at you.

@dederickve
Thanks. You made me laugh.
That particular recipe made a lot even though it said four so I asked a friend if she might want some. She did! Later she texted that she really liked it and would I share recipe. ( she knew nothing about what had happend….) It had been a long day that day and as you likely know, sometimes we just have to suck it up and/ or vent. Dinner hour isn’t his best time either…... Thanks for making me laugh. I think you are likely right…..Last time he didn’t even taste it! 🙂

@dederickve
Have you looked into state respite programs, or other types of assistance that can give you much needed breaks? It seems there must be some way for you to get a break. Do you have an Agency for Elders or can you access an Eldercare locator? Can you contact a social worked maybe thru a senior center? In CT there are programs to help people in your situation- maybe there are where you live as well.

@gratia Beautiful plant! Are you a gardener? I am! It is so wonderful! Please as you are up to it show us your plants!
I surely understood your statement, “as much as I try to be light-hearted, it hurts.”
Lots of hugs.