1. < Depression & Anxiety

Long-term depression

Posted by anniep @anniep, Mar 8, 2017

New to the group; would like to ask how others find something to look forward to in life? At my age, there's nothing to hope for, except death. I am a born-again Christian, so I know there is an escape from the physical pain and limitations brought on by illness, and escape from daily depression and motivation to continue. I try to remain active and do have interests, but sometimes the depression is too much. I have also realized when others say they care, etc., there truly is no one who means what they say. It's "We care, so long as you just keep doing your job here, but don't bother me - but we love you!" I'm old enough to know this is not true, but a method to keep a warm body in a position to get a job done. One of my 92 year old neighbors happily moves along, although she tells me almost all her friends are gone, etc. I can't ask her what motivates her. How do others have hope for anything after their families are gone and there is nothing else?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Barb | @amberpep | Aug 28, 2017
In reply to @amberpep "Well, this is "one of those mornings." Cyclothymia has a way of sneaking up on me...." + (show)
@amberpep

Well, this is "one of those mornings." Cyclothymia has a way of sneaking up on me. It's a less serious version of bi-polar, but boy when it hits, it hits hard I woke up this morning, stepped out of bed, totally filled with anxiety. I couldn't even write my grocery list. Horrible feeling, but for that there's at least Clonopin, which I took. I feel some better now, but not totally. That's how the cyclothymia part works on me - super anxiety. The depression side is not as easy to settle down. I take several meds, and it helps some, but still the D lingers all day or more.
I really hurt for you folks that have full blown bi-polar .... just with this, sometimes I feel like life is just done for me, and I should just "get it over with." My daughter is coming this morning and we're going to a local huge plant nursery ..... I hope they've gotten their African violets in .... they are a real weakness of mine .... I love them, probably because one of my Grandma's had them all over her house, and I'd follow her around while she took care of them. I was totally thrilled one time --------- when I was about 15, and she gave me one of her most beautiful deep purple ones. Since then, I'm addicted.
Anyhow, things anxiety-wise seem to be settling down - at least I can legibly write my name - it takes longer for the depression meds to kick in.
Thanks for listening friend,
abby

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Hi Teresa .... all I can tell you is what my Grandma told me ..... they don't like wet feet! They prefer an East or West window, water from the bottom once, maybe 2x a week depending on how dry your house is, and if it begins to look droopy and the soil is wet, take it out of the pot and let it air out for a day or so or you'll have root rot. And they like to be fed every 2 months with an A.F. food.
abby

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 28, 2017
In reply to @amberpep "Well, this is "one of those mornings." Cyclothymia has a way of sneaking up on me...." + (show)
@amberpep

Well, this is "one of those mornings." Cyclothymia has a way of sneaking up on me. It's a less serious version of bi-polar, but boy when it hits, it hits hard I woke up this morning, stepped out of bed, totally filled with anxiety. I couldn't even write my grocery list. Horrible feeling, but for that there's at least Clonopin, which I took. I feel some better now, but not totally. That's how the cyclothymia part works on me - super anxiety. The depression side is not as easy to settle down. I take several meds, and it helps some, but still the D lingers all day or more.
I really hurt for you folks that have full blown bi-polar .... just with this, sometimes I feel like life is just done for me, and I should just "get it over with." My daughter is coming this morning and we're going to a local huge plant nursery ..... I hope they've gotten their African violets in .... they are a real weakness of mine .... I love them, probably because one of my Grandma's had them all over her house, and I'd follow her around while she took care of them. I was totally thrilled one time --------- when I was about 15, and she gave me one of her most beautiful deep purple ones. Since then, I'm addicted.
Anyhow, things anxiety-wise seem to be settling down - at least I can legibly write my name - it takes longer for the depression meds to kick in.
Thanks for listening friend,
abby

Jump to this post

Thanks, Abby @amberpep

I may just look for an African Violet and give it a try. Did you find any today on your shopping trip?

Teresa

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magspierce | @magspierce | Aug 28, 2017

Happy to see this thread about NAMI. I agree, the support groups & educational classes are very helpful. I am involved in my local affiliate.
@sharlynn62 I am sorry that your Connection group is not running. I would like to suggest to let them know again that you are interested. Look at it as another step in your recovery to be assertive. I say this because I have to remind myself to be more assertive too. You never know, when you shared that you were interested in leading before, they might not have been in a good place themselves & possibly not thought about it really. Or perhaps they might not have thought you were really serious...I don't know. But anyway, it's worth another try. Good luck and I hope more become interested in having the Connection support group as well, or maybe recruit members? Just a thought. I just saw that your posted this in April, sorry. I hope things are different by now and you are doing well. Mags

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6 replies
french | @french | Aug 29, 2017

I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I would only see my docter every six months. My chronic fibromyalgia, SAD, and I can't rule out genetic. A horrible tragedy, my 49 yr. daughter took her life almost seven years, will be in December, fractured our family. My oldest son is in nursing home with bipolar, and med induced kidney damage, and diabetes. So my family really is really limited, other son lives out of town, and we don't see him, he has a daughter with a learning disability, his wife is a lovely person, coping with Crohn, and other daughter now. He didn't get therapy when he lost his sister, and drinking became a problem. I see him once or twice a year. His plate is full.

This past year my fatigue and anxiety is a huge problem. I have an excellent psychiatrist but had to change anti-depressant and any anti-anxiety med doesn't agree with me. It has been a difficult journey when you lose a child, in this manner you never do get back to your former self.

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5 replies
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 29, 2017

@french

I appreciate your sharing your story with us. It sounds like you are making the best of your situation. I am so sorry to hear of your daughter's suicide, how very difficult for your entire family.

I hope that you have found some support, that is really important when you can't be close to your family for one reason or the other. Do you have any friends or support through your church or community? Have you ever attended a grief support group?

Teresa

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magspierce | @magspierce | Aug 29, 2017
In reply to @french "I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I..." + (show)
@french

I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I would only see my docter every six months. My chronic fibromyalgia, SAD, and I can't rule out genetic. A horrible tragedy, my 49 yr. daughter took her life almost seven years, will be in December, fractured our family. My oldest son is in nursing home with bipolar, and med induced kidney damage, and diabetes. So my family really is really limited, other son lives out of town, and we don't see him, he has a daughter with a learning disability, his wife is a lovely person, coping with Crohn, and other daughter now. He didn't get therapy when he lost his sister, and drinking became a problem. I see him once or twice a year. His plate is full.

This past year my fatigue and anxiety is a huge problem. I have an excellent psychiatrist but had to change anti-depressant and any anti-anxiety med doesn't agree with me. It has been a difficult journey when you lose a child, in this manner you never do get back to your former self.

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So sorry for your loss @french. I hope you have some support in your community. I am happy for the support we get here on Connect.

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anniegk | @anniegk | Aug 29, 2017
In reply to @french "I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I..." + (show)
@french

I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I would only see my docter every six months. My chronic fibromyalgia, SAD, and I can't rule out genetic. A horrible tragedy, my 49 yr. daughter took her life almost seven years, will be in December, fractured our family. My oldest son is in nursing home with bipolar, and med induced kidney damage, and diabetes. So my family really is really limited, other son lives out of town, and we don't see him, he has a daughter with a learning disability, his wife is a lovely person, coping with Crohn, and other daughter now. He didn't get therapy when he lost his sister, and drinking became a problem. I see him once or twice a year. His plate is full.

This past year my fatigue and anxiety is a huge problem. I have an excellent psychiatrist but had to change anti-depressant and any anti-anxiety med doesn't agree with me. It has been a difficult journey when you lose a child, in this manner you never do get back to your former self.

Jump to this post

@french you are a very strong person. You have had to cope with the worse nightmare any parent fears...the loss of a child. Plus so many other sad things in you life. You definitely have my support...((HUGS))

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anniegk | @anniegk | Aug 29, 2017

Gentle ((Hugs)) anniep. You are not alone.

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Mentor
Jim, Volunteer Mentor | @jimhd | Aug 29, 2017
In reply to @french "I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I..." + (show)
@french

I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I would only see my docter every six months. My chronic fibromyalgia, SAD, and I can't rule out genetic. A horrible tragedy, my 49 yr. daughter took her life almost seven years, will be in December, fractured our family. My oldest son is in nursing home with bipolar, and med induced kidney damage, and diabetes. So my family really is really limited, other son lives out of town, and we don't see him, he has a daughter with a learning disability, his wife is a lovely person, coping with Crohn, and other daughter now. He didn't get therapy when he lost his sister, and drinking became a problem. I see him once or twice a year. His plate is full.

This past year my fatigue and anxiety is a huge problem. I have an excellent psychiatrist but had to change anti-depressant and any anti-anxiety med doesn't agree with me. It has been a difficult journey when you lose a child, in this manner you never do get back to your former self.

Jump to this post

@french

I'd say that your plate is more than full! It's overflowing.

Suicide is an incredibly difficult experience for the family still living. I don't know how it compares with a son dying of cancer, and I'd like to know about that. I think I'll ask my therapist. Either one has its challenges. I'm surely sorry that you're having to go through that dark valley.

Losing someone to suicide is hard for a mentally healthy person, and would probably bring with it depression. Being depressed to begin with makes it exponentially more difficult. Again, I express my sympathy. Others in the groups I follow share the same experience, and all of them wear permanent scars.

I know the difficulty in landing on the right combination of meds. It's never a cut and dried thing. It surely took a long time for me, but I seem to have found the combination that works for me. It does happen eventually. It's good that you have a psychiatrist with whom you're comfortable.

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Mentor
Terri Martin, Volunteer Mentor | @windwalker | Aug 29, 2017
In reply to @french "I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I..." + (show)
@french

I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I would only see my docter every six months. My chronic fibromyalgia, SAD, and I can't rule out genetic. A horrible tragedy, my 49 yr. daughter took her life almost seven years, will be in December, fractured our family. My oldest son is in nursing home with bipolar, and med induced kidney damage, and diabetes. So my family really is really limited, other son lives out of town, and we don't see him, he has a daughter with a learning disability, his wife is a lovely person, coping with Crohn, and other daughter now. He didn't get therapy when he lost his sister, and drinking became a problem. I see him once or twice a year. His plate is full.

This past year my fatigue and anxiety is a huge problem. I have an excellent psychiatrist but had to change anti-depressant and any anti-anxiety med doesn't agree with me. It has been a difficult journey when you lose a child, in this manner you never do get back to your former self.

Jump to this post

@french French, My heart really goes out to you. You must be stronger than you know. You have suffered a great loss with your daughter's passing; and then continued heartache with your sons. I have a daughter, 30 yrs old, with bipolar, she thinks of suicide often. I know the trials and worries you have been through in your life with just dealing with your children's mental health issues. I hope you are feeling better soon. Big Hug, Terri

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