Spouse with cognitive problems and finances

Posted by Julie Chitwood @billchitwood, Feb 25, 2022

Bill uses a computer everyday, and has nothing but problems with it. He blames his Dell and I'm pretty sure it is the user lol. He has decided to buy another one (second in a year) and going to very suspect sites. If he does get a new one it won't 'work' for him either! Once again he asked me for our address.

He still has enough memory to think he knows what he is doing. I've had to get us out of quite a few scams that he has fallen for (keeps buying hearing aids while having an excellent pair). I don't know how to protect our finances from him - at least not without major battles. So far in the past year he has bought two computers. One I could give our math teacher daughter for her school (non returnable). The other is his Dell. He also has a working Lenovo, which he says is bad - besides having a crack from his throwing it, it does work ok.

He wants to buy every ad he sees on TV - especially supplements that his doctor says are bad for him. I hid the credit card but some sites we use are auto pay and in spite of everything he remembers how to access those.

Any suggestions?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

@billchitwood

I've joined my daughter Robin in doing pilates. Not only helping my 81 year old body but it is great mentally and socially as well! We do early morning while Bill is still asleep.

Mornings for some reason seem the worse, then again at bedtime.

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You might want to ask his doctor if Bill’s anger has to do with waking up or bedtime and see if he has any suggestions.
I found this interesting article about Dementia and something we may not know about if our loved ones haven’t been tested:
What's LATE?

In LATE, a protein called TDP-43 (which stands for transactive response DNA binding protein of 43 kDa) accumulates in brain cells. Once it accumulates, it injures and ultimately destroys the cells.

LATE generally damages many of the same areas affected by Alzheimer's disease. These regions include:

the amygdala, involved in emotional regulation
the hippocampus, involved in learning and memory
the temporal lobe, involved in words and their meanings
portions of the frontal lobes, involved with keeping information in mind and manipulating it.
What are the symptoms of LATE?

Because LATE affects many of the same brain regions as Alzheimer's disease, it often presents with similar symptoms, including

memory loss (impairment in episodic memory)
trouble finding and understanding words (impairment in semantic memory)
trouble keeping information in mind (impairment in working memory).

How common is LATE?

By itself, LATE is estimated to cause about 15 percent to 20 percent of all dementias. Many people with dementia also have LATE pathology in addition to one or more other pathologies in their brain. For example, an individual may have the plaques and tangles of Alzheimer's pathology, plus LATE pathology, plus ministrokes (vascular pathology). It turns out that about 40 percent of people with dementia have at least some LATE pathology in their brain. All of this means that LATE is, indeed, very common.

How is LATE diagnosed, and why haven't you heard of it before?

LATE can only be diagnosed with certainty at autopsy. However, we can get a hint that LATE might be present when an older individual shows the memory loss and word-finding problems common in Alzheimer's disease, but special tests used to confirm the diagnosis of Alzheimer's come up negative.

The reason that you—and most clinicians—haven't heard about LATE before is that we didn't realize just how common it is. It was only when we began obtaining results of special tests to diagnose Alzheimer's disease in living individuals (such as with a lumbar puncture or amyloid PET scan) that we began seeing the prevalence of LATE.

Can LATE be treated?

Because LATE was (and still is) often confused with Alzheimer's disease, it is almost certain that when the main drugs that are FDA-approved to treat Alzheimer's disease were evaluated, individuals with LATE were included in those studies. This means that there is every reason to believe that drugs like donepezil (brand name Aricept), rivastigmine (Exelon), memantine (Namenda), and galantamine will all be effective for individuals with dementia due to LATE.

How can you find out more about LATE?

There has been an explosion of scientific papers about LATE in just the last few years. If you have a science background, you might want to peruse them or watch the wonderful scientific symposium on this disorder held by the National Institute on Aging (NIA). If you don't have a science background, take a look at the NIA or Wikipedia pages on LATE.

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@billchitwood

I've joined my daughter Robin in doing pilates. Not only helping my 81 year old body but it is great mentally and socially as well! We do early morning while Bill is still asleep.

Mornings for some reason seem the worse, then again at bedtime.

Jump to this post

Have I sent you this article about Anger and Dementia?

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/stages-behaviors/agression-anger
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@janet7

You might want to ask his doctor if Bill’s anger has to do with waking up or bedtime and see if he has any suggestions.
I found this interesting article about Dementia and something we may not know about if our loved ones haven’t been tested:
What's LATE?

In LATE, a protein called TDP-43 (which stands for transactive response DNA binding protein of 43 kDa) accumulates in brain cells. Once it accumulates, it injures and ultimately destroys the cells.

LATE generally damages many of the same areas affected by Alzheimer's disease. These regions include:

the amygdala, involved in emotional regulation
the hippocampus, involved in learning and memory
the temporal lobe, involved in words and their meanings
portions of the frontal lobes, involved with keeping information in mind and manipulating it.
What are the symptoms of LATE?

Because LATE affects many of the same brain regions as Alzheimer's disease, it often presents with similar symptoms, including

memory loss (impairment in episodic memory)
trouble finding and understanding words (impairment in semantic memory)
trouble keeping information in mind (impairment in working memory).

How common is LATE?

By itself, LATE is estimated to cause about 15 percent to 20 percent of all dementias. Many people with dementia also have LATE pathology in addition to one or more other pathologies in their brain. For example, an individual may have the plaques and tangles of Alzheimer's pathology, plus LATE pathology, plus ministrokes (vascular pathology). It turns out that about 40 percent of people with dementia have at least some LATE pathology in their brain. All of this means that LATE is, indeed, very common.

How is LATE diagnosed, and why haven't you heard of it before?

LATE can only be diagnosed with certainty at autopsy. However, we can get a hint that LATE might be present when an older individual shows the memory loss and word-finding problems common in Alzheimer's disease, but special tests used to confirm the diagnosis of Alzheimer's come up negative.

The reason that you—and most clinicians—haven't heard about LATE before is that we didn't realize just how common it is. It was only when we began obtaining results of special tests to diagnose Alzheimer's disease in living individuals (such as with a lumbar puncture or amyloid PET scan) that we began seeing the prevalence of LATE.

Can LATE be treated?

Because LATE was (and still is) often confused with Alzheimer's disease, it is almost certain that when the main drugs that are FDA-approved to treat Alzheimer's disease were evaluated, individuals with LATE were included in those studies. This means that there is every reason to believe that drugs like donepezil (brand name Aricept), rivastigmine (Exelon), memantine (Namenda), and galantamine will all be effective for individuals with dementia due to LATE.

How can you find out more about LATE?

There has been an explosion of scientific papers about LATE in just the last few years. If you have a science background, you might want to peruse them or watch the wonderful scientific symposium on this disorder held by the National Institute on Aging (NIA). If you don't have a science background, take a look at the NIA or Wikipedia pages on LATE.

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I've never heard of LATE - thank you for bringing to my attention.

I am keeping a journal so I can remember things to ask or bring to the doctor's attention.

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@billchitwood

Yes - it is very helpful.

Bill woke up in a good mood this morning!!!

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That’s great!!

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Has anyone utilized Medicare's counselling services for family of those with dementia?

This morning he was demanding his credit cards again. Found out that he told his niece (not his kids who know better) that I sold his car without telling him. He didn't tell her that he had said to sell it, that he is no longer allowed to drive due to doctor's orders, that he is uninsurable, etc. Also indicated to her that my 'sister' (meaning daughter) and I might be spending or doing away with his money. His niece, who has known me for over 35 years and has known Bill always had me handle everything, added fuel to the rather than checking with his kids or with me.

So one of those days!

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@hopeful33250

@billchitwood I'm glad to hear that you have an exercise program in place, Julie and that you have your daughter as an exercise partner.

There is a YouTube video channel called Yes2Next, which is a mother/daughter leading many different exercises from "warm-ups" to walking videos of different time limits. If you need to add something to your exercise routine you might take a look at them.

Is this early morning and late night anger something new or has it always been part of the dementia problem?

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I just did half of this video, Hope to work on it tomorrow. Great video!

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@billchitwood

Has anyone utilized Medicare's counselling services for family of those with dementia?

This morning he was demanding his credit cards again. Found out that he told his niece (not his kids who know better) that I sold his car without telling him. He didn't tell her that he had said to sell it, that he is no longer allowed to drive due to doctor's orders, that he is uninsurable, etc. Also indicated to her that my 'sister' (meaning daughter) and I might be spending or doing away with his money. His niece, who has known me for over 35 years and has known Bill always had me handle everything, added fuel to the rather than checking with his kids or with me.

So one of those days!

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Oh dear! He likes churning up trouble! I feel sorry that he tells all those untrue stories about you and Robin. Everything you both do for him and then he makes you look like the bad guys! That would bother me too, the fact that he keeps blaming you and Robin for spending his money (your money too) and stopping him from driving! That’s just awful, but what to do about it, if anything? Do you go to a counselor you could talk to about this or could you tell his doctor?
I once told our family doctor, right in front of Will, about his anger towards me. I just had to let someone know about this, and having the doctor know gave me the support I needed. Now if I wanted to report this abuse, I had a confidant in my corner. Just having someone we both knew that was aware of his abuse made life much more tolerable for me.
Just a suggestion! So sorry for both you and Robin. Praying for you both.

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@carolee888

I just did half of this video, Hope to work on it tomorrow. Great video!

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Thanks, I’ll read it too!

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@janet7

Oh dear! He likes churning up trouble! I feel sorry that he tells all those untrue stories about you and Robin. Everything you both do for him and then he makes you look like the bad guys! That would bother me too, the fact that he keeps blaming you and Robin for spending his money (your money too) and stopping him from driving! That’s just awful, but what to do about it, if anything? Do you go to a counselor you could talk to about this or could you tell his doctor?
I once told our family doctor, right in front of Will, about his anger towards me. I just had to let someone know about this, and having the doctor know gave me the support I needed. Now if I wanted to report this abuse, I had a confidant in my corner. Just having someone we both knew that was aware of his abuse made life much more tolerable for me.
Just a suggestion! So sorry for both you and Robin. Praying for you both.

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