Spouse with cognitive problems and finances

Some more “sweet” info:
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According to Dr. Raed Bargout, a cardiologist at Dignity Health-Glendale Memorial Hospital in Glendale, California, processed meat is one of the worst, especially processed deli meat. “Processed deli meat is on the top of the list for food that can increase the risk of cardiovascular events including heart attacks and stroke.” He says. If you like adding deli meat to your sandwiches, consider cooking turkey or chicken fresh instead.

Thanks! That helps explain it.

Yes, for me too!

One of those mornings. Our daughter became my 'sister' and then turned into my 'wife'! Bill decided he wanted half of our money, the credit cards and checkbook as he was going to get his own place and buy a car. Fortunately he had forgotten to charge his hearing aids so couldn't hear me so had to agree to delay the conversation. Shortly after his 'announcements', he was so pleased we would be moving to our own place soon and getting a car. Now he is asleep and I'm really enjoying the peace and quiet. His doctors don't want him to nap during the day but it is the only time I can truly relax. Doesn't seem to make any difference with his nighttime sleeping anyway.
Thinking of putting together a bunch of old expired credit cards for him. I do need to keep his ID, Medicare and Med Sup cards as doctor's office always asking for them. He has a voter's ID card I can add to the bunch. I don't dare add his old driver's license as he would think he could use it - but maybe not. He has not written a check in the last 35 years - or done a tax return (personal or for our business). Hasn't paid a bill during that time either. Even had me take care of his child support. So I'm hopeful that his latest requests will slip his mind quickly.
In the meantime I keep playing for time lol.
I had to give son Scott a few truths this morning as he thinks his Dad is just 'playing' me and there isn't really anything wrong as he sounds great on the phone. Needless to say, very short phone conversations and when Bill does goof up, like Scott's age, he makes a joke of it and since he always was great for joking, Scott buys it hook, line and sinker. Daughter Shelley is much wiser regarding her Dad. His other son (who he forgot about) rarely gets in touch with his Dad and hasn't a clue.
In the meantime Bill thinks his memory and health have improved greatly.

I am so sorry for you! This is not an easy one and I have a feeling he will come up with this again.
This is what I would do - just a suggestion.
I would tell him the credit cards all all maxed out. Then I would tell him that you are on a strict budget (says your Financial Advisor) and you hope you will not run out of money. Therefore, checks would not do him any good.
And to get an apartment, you would need a deposit and the first month’s rent, which you don’t have. If he questions how you know about the finances, ask him “ what do you think I’ve been doing all these years?”
I pray you will tell him what he needs to know to stop his obsession. Nip it in the bud!

Only problem is he does remember that we recently sold our home and what the amount was and that it is in the bank. If he thought all that money was gone he would go absolutely haywire and God alone knows what would happen.
I'm busy stalling him on things. It might come to needing to flat out tell him he can't move. On the car I figure I can explain he has to take the series of tests in late September to prove to the AZ DMV that he is ok to get his license back - serving two purposes - delaying and also getting him there without a fuss.
Also this morning he couldn't find the wire door to the cat condo/crate. He finally had to ask me to do it.
One good thing is he is now re-watching one of his favorite James Bond movies - since he doesn't remember ever seeing it before he is enjoying it like he is seeing it for the first time rather than the umpteen time! Same for all of his other favorite movies. I had to help him with his hearing aid remote as he was turning the volume down rather than up. He gets mixed up on the arrows.
My ex-brother-in-law is a Financial Planner and Bill has been talking to Tim about investing. Tim is aware of the problems so 'talks' with Bill, keeps him happy and then ignores him until he 'forgets' what he wanted Tim to do. This has been going on for a couple of months. Tim has found that if he drags the conversation out Bill will excuse himself and go to bed as he has trouble, and gets tired, in keeping up with the conversation. Tim is used to him heading to bed anywhere around five and six and not eating dinner (Tim and his wife, Robin2 come over to dinner fairly often). They have also offered any help and Robin2 has also joined Robin, Bill and I at Mayo. Nothing like having lunch dates at Mayo - although they do have good food at reasonable prices!
I'm really lucky with family backing. Makes a tremendous difference.

Apparently our new 'normal' is he wakes up in a temper - mad and ready to have a 'discussion'. Although this morning I'm getting the silent treatment. He will not speak - grabbed his computer and HAs (hearing aids) and shuffled off to his den. Yesterday, after his morning 'discussion' I had him read the doctor's notes where his dementia was noted. He actually took that well but immediately decided that everyone in the world has dementia of some sort so it isn't anything to worry about.
In the meantime I'm not bringing him coffee or breakfast as he says he can do it himself lol. I'm not sure if he took his pills or not and he isn't talking.
Robin's stomach is killing her and I'm having back spasms - and I'm guessing related to stress at the moment. Not good.

@billchitwood Hello Julie,

I'm sorry to hear of the stressful start to your days. That was brave of you to have him read the doctor's notes about dementia. He is definitely not willing to accept his diagnosis right now, which might be typical.

Do you have any exercise programs or something you can do for relaxation?

I've joined my daughter Robin in doing pilates. Not only helping my 81 year old body but it is great mentally and socially as well! We do early morning while Bill is still asleep.

Mornings for some reason seem the worse, then again at bedtime.

@billchitwood I'm glad to hear that you have an exercise program in place, Julie and that you have your daughter as an exercise partner.

There is a YouTube video channel called Yes2Next, which is a mother/daughter leading many different exercises from "warm-ups" to walking videos of different time limits. If you need to add something to your exercise routine you might take a look at them.

Is this early morning and late night anger something new or has it always been part of the dementia problem?