1. < Mental Health

Selfharm

Posted by Ryman @ryman, Jun 30, 2017

I assume this is the right group. I have never discussed this with anyone but my grandson yells at me about it. When I get very stressed, I sometimes scratch my arms or face. I haven't done any real harm. It is a way to relieve stress when it gets to be too much. I cannot tolerate anxiety or depression medicines which I assume would be a doctor's answer. Does anyone else deal with this?

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kdo0827 | @kdo0827 | Mar 20, 2019
In reply to @mia001 "@suscros68 I do use help lines when I get really scared. The problem is sometimes... I..." + (show)
@mia001

@suscros68 I do use help lines when I get really scared. The problem is sometimes... I don’t want to. It’s like I rebel against my sensible self when I’m emotionally overwhelmed.

Just to clarify, the psychiatrist was a one-off appointment requested by my doctor as a review. I’m definitely not seeing that psychiatrist again though!

I do see a psychologist fortnightly whom I connect with really well. That’s been helping although I still feel awkward and tend to avoid talking about suicidal thoughts and or going into detail about selfharm.

Sometimes I find writing down my thoughts and then giving it to my psych helps me communicate... maybe I will write something before our session this week.

Jump to this post

We all have secret hurts and pains that really affect us if we don’t try to deal with them. I don’t deal with mine at all hardly and keep them pushed as far down as I can. I know it’s not healthy. I’d like to encourage you to keep journaling. It’s safe, it’s private and it’s a release! As a severe depression sufferer I understand your thoughts of harming yourself but it can be overcome. I think you’re definitely on the right path with your therapist and I’m very glad you have someone you can trust. We are here for each other in a safe and judgement free place. Feel free to share anything you want.

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karen00 | @karen00 | Mar 20, 2019
In reply to @mia001 "@lisalucier Thankyou for your reply and for moving my post. I’m not sure. Sometimes I think..." + (show)
@mia001

@lisalucier Thankyou for your reply and for moving my post.

I’m not sure. Sometimes I think the only reason I’m not dead is because I can’t think of a way to end my life painlessly and with 99% chance of success.

There have been times when I’m driving that I’ve pulled over because I was terrified I would deliberately crash. But even though the urge was there and strong, there was still a voice in my head saying “What if you survive? You can’t afford a new car. It would be so embarrassing. What if you ended up disabled?”

I definitely have thoughts of suicide and suicidal urges.

I definitely self harm.

But is it really a suicide attempt when I self harm and it hurts too much for me too cut deeper? When I know the chances are I won’t be able to do it? When part of me is hoping someone will find me? When I’m screaming in my head for some kind of escape from this pain?

This question has been bothering me for a while. Then today I had an appointment with a psychiatrist that my doctor referred me to, for review. I didn’t like the psych as he was quite abrupt and I felt was rude. He said that what I did was not a suicide attempt and I should not use the word suicide. That if I’d really wanted to commit suicide I would have cut my throat or jumped off a bridge.

His instant reaction and reply shocked me, and to be honest, made me feel guilty, humiliated and ashamed.

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@mia001 hi Mia, I read your posts and was so moved by your pain. I have no experience with self harm (well maybe I do- overeating) but I have been in mental pain with suicidal depression. Please don’t crash your car! You are too valuable! I am struggling to write this and make sure I say the right things. The bottom line is that we care and don’t want you to self harm. Please find another psychiatrist!.....Karen

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suscros68 | @suscros68 | Mar 20, 2019
In reply to @mia001 "@suscros68 I do use help lines when I get really scared. The problem is sometimes... I..." + (show)
@mia001

@suscros68 I do use help lines when I get really scared. The problem is sometimes... I don’t want to. It’s like I rebel against my sensible self when I’m emotionally overwhelmed.

Just to clarify, the psychiatrist was a one-off appointment requested by my doctor as a review. I’m definitely not seeing that psychiatrist again though!

I do see a psychologist fortnightly whom I connect with really well. That’s been helping although I still feel awkward and tend to avoid talking about suicidal thoughts and or going into detail about selfharm.

Sometimes I find writing down my thoughts and then giving it to my psych helps me communicate... maybe I will write something before our session this week.

Jump to this post

I found writing really helped me

REPLY
georgette12 | @georgette12 | Mar 20, 2019

Regarding self harm and suicidal feelings. I've worked as a Crisis support person for suicidal issues. My son talked about suicide for two years and then killed himself. I was not able to save him or help him. The only thing I can say regarding this complex issue is that it is dangerous not to talk about it. And meds do help combined with an extremely responsive therapist.

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Parus | @parus | Mar 21, 2019

@mia001 Wondering how you are doing. I know you have been struggling. Has there been any improvement in how you are feeling?

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Mia001 | @mia001 | Mar 22, 2019

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your replies. I am coping a bit better at the moment. I made a long post not long ago but it hasn't appeared. I'm unsure if it is being moderated or if it failed to be sent. If it doesn't work, I'll post again later.

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3 replies
Parus | @parus | Mar 22, 2019
In reply to @mia001 "Hi everyone, thank you so much for your replies. I am coping a bit better at..." + (show)
@mia001

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your replies. I am coping a bit better at the moment. I made a long post not long ago but it hasn't appeared. I'm unsure if it is being moderated or if it failed to be sent. If it doesn't work, I'll post again later.

Jump to this post

@mia001 Thank you for touching base.

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Mar 22, 2019
In reply to @mia001 "Hi everyone, thank you so much for your replies. I am coping a bit better at..." + (show)
@mia001

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your replies. I am coping a bit better at the moment. I made a long post not long ago but it hasn't appeared. I'm unsure if it is being moderated or if it failed to be sent. If it doesn't work, I'll post again later.

Jump to this post

@mia001 Glad you are feeling better. We are here for you, and this is a safe place.
Ginger

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Lisa Lucier | @lisalucier | Mar 22, 2019
In reply to @mia001 "Hi everyone, thank you so much for your replies. I am coping a bit better at..." + (show)
@mia001

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your replies. I am coping a bit better at the moment. I made a long post not long ago but it hasn't appeared. I'm unsure if it is being moderated or if it failed to be sent. If it doesn't work, I'll post again later.

Jump to this post

Hi, @mia001,
That's a pity that your detailed message failed to send. We do not hold posts for moderation review. Here's an explanation of why and how Connect is moderated: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/tab/moderators/.

To see all your post activity, simply click your username to go to your profile and see all the posts you've made to date. I hope you'll try to post your message again.

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Lisa Lucier | @lisalucier | Apr 2, 2019

Hi, @mia001 - just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing?

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