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Ryman
@ryman

Posts: 143
Joined: Dec 09, 2012

Selfharm

Posted by @ryman, Jun 30, 2017

I assume this is the right group. I have never discussed this with anyone but my grandson yells at me about it. When I get very stressed, I sometimes scratch my arms or face. I haven’t done any real harm. It is a way to relieve stress when it gets to be too much. I cannot tolerate anxiety or depression medicines which I assume would be a doctor’s answer. Does anyone else deal with this?

Liked by Parus

REPLY

Hello @ryman, You bring up a good topic for the Mental Health discussion. Self injurious behaviors are often associated with depression and anxiety. Have you discussed this with your doctor? I see that you are not interested in taking anti-anxiety or anti-depressant meds at this time, but have you considered counseling? Teresa

@hopeful33250

Hello @ryman, You bring up a good topic for the Mental Health discussion. Self injurious behaviors are often associated with depression and anxiety. Have you discussed this with your doctor? I see that you are not interested in taking anti-anxiety or anti-depressant meds at this time, but have you considered counseling? Teresa

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No, I have never discussed it with anyone. My grandson has seen me do it when I get very stressed and he yells at me. He has a friend who cuts herself. I have never gone that far. I think my doctor would prescribe anxiety meds. she has already given me two for depression but I cannot take them. I don’t think counseling would really help. I just need some way to release the stress when it gets too high. I have read about crushing cans, cleaning, wrapping in a blanket and rocking but I haven’t tried any of those. I suppose I should try them and see if they would work.

Liked by Parus

@ryman, thank you for choosing to talk about your struggles with self-harm tendencies with Connect members. I’m tagging @Gray @jimhd and @lighthouseceliac on this discussion to see if they may have some thoughts and coping strategies to offer.

Ryman, How perceptive of your grandson to notice what is happening. While it must be hard for him to have seen this in his friend, it has given him the ability to recognize what you is happening and confronting you about it. He yells because he cares. Have you been able to talk to him about it later when your stress subsides? Also, it seems you have done some reading about other ways to relieve the stress. It sounds like they may be worth a try. Are you able sometimes to see the stress mounting and reduce the cause of the stress before it becomes too much?

@ryman, hi. Sorry if im butting in. About 27 years ago i was peeling the skin off of the bottom of my feet. I think i just have the tendency if that’s possible. In high school i was tapping my fingertips on things, my body, desk, tablets, other people’s hands, whatever. lol. I still do. I added counting letters, syllables, music beats, things like that. As a mom, i added checking the window and door locks, making sure the stove burners were off. I haven’t gotten to the hand washing yet, i dont think. But thats just good hygiene. The only thing that made me stop with my feet was the pain i inflicted on myself. I bled and the pain could be bad enough that it was hard to walk. So i finally stopped. Right now iam having a problem with an all over itch that started about 15 years ago. Ive been drawing blood, and its leaving scabs. Well,. ive been scraping them off, drawing more blood, etc. Now im getting scars. Ive been complaining about the itching for this whole time. The doctors have not been impressed. And this last doctor I am seeing doesnt care either. She called it something else, but i know what’s causing it and i told her. She wants me to see a therapist, and i want to but there are other doctors i need to see first. Transportation costs are killing me. Aside from the disfigurement of my body, this is serious stuff for me because im diabetic. I could get a serious infection. I hope you are able to find a good stress .reliever. Im assuming its stress. Im sure that’s what it is with me. Best of luck to the both of us. Have a good evening, Diane (Judy, Diane, Dani)

Hello!!! Happy almost 4th of July!!! It takes so much bravery to reach out. It is the first step to recovery.
To be so anxious hurts so much that you go numb and feel as if there are worms crawling inside. This is not just something that you can deal with on your own. It is so simple to go see a professional and get some help. Pay close attention to your diet and exercise. Just 30 minutes of a brisk walk can settle your hormones and help you to cope. Hypnotherapy helps so much. There are many free ones on YouTube. Seems strange but keep calm but keep busy. They go beautifully hand in hand.
READREAD READ….all the time. Self help books are amazing. They give you so many suggestions that are life changing.
You cannot die during an actual panic attack but it sure feels like it. You can get better. It does take much effort. Keep reaching out. We are all here pulling for you!!! Meds are not the only answer. When they are needed it should be considered.
Concentrate on something good…give to others always….even just a smile!!! We are all in the same boat. Life can be so hard but it can be so worth it!!! Just have more grandkids!!! Take care!!!!!

@danybegood1

@ryman, hi. Sorry if im butting in. About 27 years ago i was peeling the skin off of the bottom of my feet. I think i just have the tendency if that’s possible. In high school i was tapping my fingertips on things, my body, desk, tablets, other people’s hands, whatever. lol. I still do. I added counting letters, syllables, music beats, things like that. As a mom, i added checking the window and door locks, making sure the stove burners were off. I haven’t gotten to the hand washing yet, i dont think. But thats just good hygiene. The only thing that made me stop with my feet was the pain i inflicted on myself. I bled and the pain could be bad enough that it was hard to walk. So i finally stopped. Right now iam having a problem with an all over itch that started about 15 years ago. Ive been drawing blood, and its leaving scabs. Well,. ive been scraping them off, drawing more blood, etc. Now im getting scars. Ive been complaining about the itching for this whole time. The doctors have not been impressed. And this last doctor I am seeing doesnt care either. She called it something else, but i know what’s causing it and i told her. She wants me to see a therapist, and i want to but there are other doctors i need to see first. Transportation costs are killing me. Aside from the disfigurement of my body, this is serious stuff for me because im diabetic. I could get a serious infection. I hope you are able to find a good stress .reliever. Im assuming its stress. Im sure that’s what it is with me. Best of luck to the both of us. Have a good evening, Diane (Judy, Diane, Dani)

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You aren’t butting in. I raised the question because I felt it was time I talked about it and maybe others would want to also. I can see it is a big problem for you. I hope you will find ways to deal with it. I started out pulling hair from my head, arms and face. I still do that. I have scratched till it bled and formed scabs . I would try meds but I don’t tolerate them well. They usually make me worse. But there are other ways of dealing with stress. I think for myself I will have to be aware of it before it gets too high and find a distraction. I do hope you can find some answers. My husband was a diabetic and I know how that can complicate things.

@colleenyoung

@ryman, thank you for choosing to talk about your struggles with self-harm tendencies with Connect members. I’m tagging @Gray @jimhd and @lighthouseceliac on this discussion to see if they may have some thoughts and coping strategies to offer.

Ryman, How perceptive of your grandson to notice what is happening. While it must be hard for him to have seen this in his friend, it has given him the ability to recognize what you is happening and confronting you about it. He yells because he cares. Have you been able to talk to him about it later when your stress subsides? Also, it seems you have done some reading about other ways to relieve the stress. It sounds like they may be worth a try. Are you able sometimes to see the stress mounting and reduce the cause of the stress before it becomes too much?

Jump to this post

This is the first I have discussed this at all. But I decided it was time I did. I printed some things I saw online and plan to share them with my grandson. He is somewhat familiar with it because of his friend from high school. I know I need to work on my overall stress and be aware when it is getting too high. Thank you for your reply.

@lighthouseceliac

Hello!!! Happy almost 4th of July!!! It takes so much bravery to reach out. It is the first step to recovery.
To be so anxious hurts so much that you go numb and feel as if there are worms crawling inside. This is not just something that you can deal with on your own. It is so simple to go see a professional and get some help. Pay close attention to your diet and exercise. Just 30 minutes of a brisk walk can settle your hormones and help you to cope. Hypnotherapy helps so much. There are many free ones on YouTube. Seems strange but keep calm but keep busy. They go beautifully hand in hand.
READREAD READ….all the time. Self help books are amazing. They give you so many suggestions that are life changing.
You cannot die during an actual panic attack but it sure feels like it. You can get better. It does take much effort. Keep reaching out. We are all here pulling for you!!! Meds are not the only answer. When they are needed it should be considered.
Concentrate on something good…give to others always….even just a smile!!! We are all in the same boat. Life can be so hard but it can be so worth it!!! Just have more grandkids!!! Take care!!!!!

Jump to this post

Thank you. You have a lot of good suggestions. My Mom had panic attacks and until she learned what they were she did think she was going to die. I haven’t reached that point, I think I have anxiety attacks. I have tried a lot of meds but they only made me worse, and I have so many health issues. I know I really have to get the stress and anxiety under control. The things you mention will be very helpful. Thank you so much.

@danybegood1

@ryman, hi. Sorry if im butting in. About 27 years ago i was peeling the skin off of the bottom of my feet. I think i just have the tendency if that’s possible. In high school i was tapping my fingertips on things, my body, desk, tablets, other people’s hands, whatever. lol. I still do. I added counting letters, syllables, music beats, things like that. As a mom, i added checking the window and door locks, making sure the stove burners were off. I haven’t gotten to the hand washing yet, i dont think. But thats just good hygiene. The only thing that made me stop with my feet was the pain i inflicted on myself. I bled and the pain could be bad enough that it was hard to walk. So i finally stopped. Right now iam having a problem with an all over itch that started about 15 years ago. Ive been drawing blood, and its leaving scabs. Well,. ive been scraping them off, drawing more blood, etc. Now im getting scars. Ive been complaining about the itching for this whole time. The doctors have not been impressed. And this last doctor I am seeing doesnt care either. She called it something else, but i know what’s causing it and i told her. She wants me to see a therapist, and i want to but there are other doctors i need to see first. Transportation costs are killing me. Aside from the disfigurement of my body, this is serious stuff for me because im diabetic. I could get a serious infection. I hope you are able to find a good stress .reliever. Im assuming its stress. Im sure that’s what it is with me. Best of luck to the both of us. Have a good evening, Diane (Judy, Diane, Dani)

Jump to this post

@ryman

I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with so much stress. I so understand your anxiety, having been in that place myself for a very long time. I’ve seldom done self harm, though I can’t say I’ve never done it, but in 2005-06, I attempted suicide a number of times, and have tried to OD a few times since then. In 2005, I spiraled down into a dark hole of depression, and finally checked myself into a post-attempt facility. After a six week stay, I began seeing a counselor, and I’ve been seeing counselors for most of the past ten years. I had an 18 month break last year and a new therapist moved to our town in February, and I started seeing him in March. He probably saved my life.

I started antidepressants in 2003. It was a long process finding the right one. I tried a bunch of them. It takes up to 6 weeks to figure out if a med will work, but side effects shortened that time for some of them. The one I landed on has helped me through the past 12 years. You might want to talk with your doctor about trying other antidepressants that won’t make you feel worse.

What I learned is that medication can help, and so can counseling, but combining the two is by far the most effective. I recommend both to anyone I know who needs help. It’s certainly turned my life around, though I haven’t achieved perfection yet. I still struggle with depression, anxiety disorder, PTSD and suicidal thoughts. I thank God for all those who are part of my support team, including this group. I hope you’ll find the right solution for your situation.

Jim

@danybegood1

@ryman, hi. Sorry if im butting in. About 27 years ago i was peeling the skin off of the bottom of my feet. I think i just have the tendency if that’s possible. In high school i was tapping my fingertips on things, my body, desk, tablets, other people’s hands, whatever. lol. I still do. I added counting letters, syllables, music beats, things like that. As a mom, i added checking the window and door locks, making sure the stove burners were off. I haven’t gotten to the hand washing yet, i dont think. But thats just good hygiene. The only thing that made me stop with my feet was the pain i inflicted on myself. I bled and the pain could be bad enough that it was hard to walk. So i finally stopped. Right now iam having a problem with an all over itch that started about 15 years ago. Ive been drawing blood, and its leaving scabs. Well,. ive been scraping them off, drawing more blood, etc. Now im getting scars. Ive been complaining about the itching for this whole time. The doctors have not been impressed. And this last doctor I am seeing doesnt care either. She called it something else, but i know what’s causing it and i told her. She wants me to see a therapist, and i want to but there are other doctors i need to see first. Transportation costs are killing me. Aside from the disfigurement of my body, this is serious stuff for me because im diabetic. I could get a serious infection. I hope you are able to find a good stress .reliever. Im assuming its stress. Im sure that’s what it is with me. Best of luck to the both of us. Have a good evening, Diane (Judy, Diane, Dani)

Jump to this post

Thank you for sharing your experience. I commend you for your efforts to work through it and I will keep you in my prayers. I have had so much trouble with side effects from antidepressants and other meds, I try to avoid them. But I can see that stress is causing a lot of problems in many areas so maybe I will try it again. I wish you the best.

My mom didn’t self harm, but had severe reactions to her anxiety, but did not explain them to me as I was growing up. As a young child and into my teen years, I thought it was my fault. She would hyperventilate, shake, cry and tongue would swell. I urge each of you to explain what is happening to family and friends you are around. Most will be understanding and if not, you don’t them in your life. I also deal with depression and anxiety and have spent time in the hospital. However, I have now learned to accept it and live a productive life, even at 85. 🙂

@liz223 Hi Liz: I appreciate you sharing your story. I so admire the progress you have made (and are still making) at the age of 85. You are a great example of how it is possible to live a productive life even though your early years sound like they were very difficult. Teresa

Hello everyone. I am back after several weeks…or even longer. I just find it hard to stay connected. First anniversary of son’s suicide is august.
That is not why i am posting. This is in response to ryman. Have you tried homeopathic remedies for uncontrolled urges as you have described. Even Rescue Remedy…a popular remedy that works well. Go to a good health food store to the Wellness department. Or, way better, call a wellness practitioner in your area who works with remedies.
Acupuncture works as well. As does other chinese remedies.
I have used all of these to ease a lifelong series of symptoms relating to severe depression and anxiety. I also have been on countless medications. Sometimes meds worked…sometimes they didn’t. You can choose your own healing modalities.

Liked by Parus, gingerw

To add to that last post…..i do have to chime in and gently and firmly invite you to make it a priority to investigate healing techniques before you inadvertently do some damage. My instinct says that you just aren’t gonna try more meds and see more doctors. I have definitely been there. I so get that.
For thousands of years people have used alternative means to get well. Think of it as a research project. Try different stuff. Until you find what works.

@georgette12

To add to that last post…..i do have to chime in and gently and firmly invite you to make it a priority to investigate healing techniques before you inadvertently do some damage. My instinct says that you just aren’t gonna try more meds and see more doctors. I have definitely been there. I so get that.
For thousands of years people have used alternative means to get well. Think of it as a research project. Try different stuff. Until you find what works.

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Thank you for your replies. I am so very sorry for your loss. No, I won’t be seeking more drs or meds. I really don’t know how to handle that as drs want to give you meds. That is what they do. I have heard of Rescue Remedy. Maybe I will give that a try. I am trying to deal with the stress and not let it build up, to try different means to control it. I remember my brother used to sit an jiggle his leg a lot. Now I think it was a means of dealing with stress. Thank you so much for your suggestions. I will look into alternative means.

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