Selfharm

Hi, @parus,
You had talked before about some struggles with self-harm tendencies. Wondering how things are going with that?

I wanted to also introduce a couple of Connect members who talked about this issue in another thread from a bit back, @concernedmtnmom and @jxelson. Thought they might have some insights to share from their experiences.

@georgette12 — you'd also talked about challenges with this, and I'm also wondering how things are going with you?

@lisalucier Yes, I have talked some about self-harm. Those thoughts do not go completely from me when I reach a hurdle that seems insurmountable. The thing is I know once I start it is not an easy act to stop. Not that it would lead to death or the like. I have not done so for around 3 years. I did not mention thus to any primary caregivers, but when past scars were seen it ended up in my chart online. I was furious and nearly started again. I know many do not understand self-harm and see it as a precursor to suicide. Nothing like ramping up the past. Arrgh they just don't understand!!!
Not wise to blow a fuse either...this information appeared in my record as well as the D.I.D. from the therapist. Went off on her for breaking confidentiality and then things-well. We, I and they are all me. Mostly integrated unless the stress becomes more than "I" can handle.
So even through all of that no self-harming occurred.
Thank you for asking. The ugly thing about self-harming is the shame from others which further reinforces the need to do so. Each urge resisted is a victory for the the one self-harming. Like other addictions-it can be overcome which [for me] does not mean the desire is not still there in hard times. This is likely true of any addiction
There are many types of self-harm and all are not visible.

@rlinstrot In answer to your question about self-help books...Yes. These type of books, for me, are harmful. Mostly it is the attitude of the author who believes what has worked for them will work for others and if their book is not helpful the reader has failed. Thus, my way of avoiding "triggers" is not reading such.
My issue.

@hopeful33250 I did answer about self-help books to @rlinstrot . Took the time to think it through a tad more.

@ryman @parus I have read this entire thread and found it so interesting to see how others view self-harming, PTSD, depression,etc. I have had severe bouts of depression several times, have gone through counseling, have had SSRIs prescribed at times, etc. For me, I find that self-harming can take several forms, and as parus said, not all are that visible. What has worked for me may not work for others. I try to journal in longhand, and took courses in graphology to analyze what was under the words. I do crafts to keep my hands and mind busy, creating something to donate, rather than diving into food/mindless eating/self destructive things. I go for walks and watch nature around me. Does it sound like distraction? Yep, it is. I need to get out of my own head, to not bring up nor dwell on past memories, and realize that the sun will rise in the east/set in the West today, tomorrow, and the next day. I have to take responsibility for myself, and tell myself constantly that I am worth taking care of, by whatever means needed, and what works for me is unique to me.

@gingerw So tastefully written. Thank you for being encouraging without being preachy or self-righteous. The type of encouragement that leaves me feeling I have not failed.
Distraction is my strongest tool-as long as I keep the distraction healthy.

@parus You have done well to realize and articulate that self-harm ideas tend to come in relation to stress and though the feelings are there you do not necessarily need to act on those thoughts.

Good insight, @parus. I appreciate you adding those thoughts to this discussion.

Self harming thoughts seem always lurking. The relief would be only brief, the scars are permanent. We know if we start it is so hard to stop.
A word about Rescue Remedy-it does contain alcohol. It is the alcohol that gives a sense of calm. We would not want to see one habit turn into another.

Such a good point, @parus. It is a common thing to replace one addiction with another. I appreciate your pointing that out!

Hi @parus, we have not crossed (cyber) paths for a while. How are you doing these days? I'm enjoying watching the leaves slowly turning color and looking forward to cozy turtleneck sweaters as the temperatures go down - at least in my part of the world. I would love to see one of your pencil drawings on this Sunday afternoon. Have you got any fall flowers or garden scenes to share?