Selfharm

Posted by Ryman @ryman, Jun 30, 2017

I assume this is the right group. I have never discussed this with anyone but my grandson yells at me about it. When I get very stressed, I sometimes scratch my arms or face. I haven’t done any real harm. It is a way to relieve stress when it gets to be too much. I cannot tolerate anxiety or depression medicines which I assume would be a doctor’s answer. Does anyone else deal with this?

Liked by Parus

This is how I let myself know how deep my emotional scars are and would not ever again say anything to another professional as this is NOT parasuicidal behavior. Some of us just do what we can…no different than a tattoo or a body piercing…how I see thus…

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@parus

This is how I let myself know how deep my emotional scars are and would not ever again say anything to another professional as this is NOT parasuicidal behavior. Some of us just do what we can…no different than a tattoo or a body piercing…how I see thus…

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@parus Have you ever talked with anyone about those emotional scars?

Jim

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@parus

This is how I let myself know how deep my emotional scars are and would not ever again say anything to another professional as this is NOT parasuicidal behavior. Some of us just do what we can…no different than a tattoo or a body piercing…how I see thus…

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Hi, @parus. I add my welcome to the welcome messages you’ve received here and in other discussions on Connect. We look forward to getting to know more about you. You mention treatment-resistant depression and PTSD, as well as emotional scars. It sounds like self-harm is or was your way of coping. I agree that self-harm is not parasuicidal, but it is an unhealthy way to cope with emotional pain, intense anger and frustration. You’ve also shared that it is hard to talk and to trust anyone. We hope that here on Connect you will feel comfortable telling us more about yourself. We do not judge. Perhaps sharing your emotional pain with us online will help.

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Self help books are a trigger for me. Talk to my doctor? Not an option at all.

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@parus

Self help books are a trigger for me. Talk to my doctor? Not an option at all.

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Hello @parus

Could you tell us a little more about how self-help books are a trigger?

Teresa

Liked by Parus

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@hopeful33250 Not meaning to be disrespectful, but from where I sit the answer is a no-brainer.

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@parus

@hopeful33250 Not meaning to be disrespectful, but from where I sit the answer is a no-brainer.

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@parus I didn’t pick up any disrespect – just the facts!

Teresa

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@parus – I am new, do you mean that self help books are a trigger because they tell you what you “should” be doing and then cause you to start scratching?

Elect
Uh

Liked by Parus

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@rlinstrot Welcome and the answer to your question is, “no”. I do not find them helpful. Not scratching.

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@georgette12

Hi teresa…thanks so much for not forgetting me. That actually means a lot. It may seem strange…all the cyberspace stuff, but for those of us who are isolated it is helpful. Inam struggling quite a bit. I am going over all my son’s texts from the last several months before he killed himself and where he explained his plans. I think i am just trying to find answers where there are none.. I am working up to even calling his psychistrist who i saw at his funeral. More later.

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Hi, @georgette12 –just wanted to let you know we are thinking of you and wondering how you are doing these days?

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Hi, @parus,
You had talked before about some struggles with self-harm tendencies. Wondering how things are going with that?

I wanted to also introduce a couple of Connect members who talked about this issue in another thread from a bit back, @concernedmtnmom and @jxelson. Thought they might have some insights to share from their experiences.

@georgette12 — you'd also talked about challenges with this, and I'm also wondering how things are going with you?

Liked by Parus

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@lisalucier Yes, I have talked some about self-harm. Those thoughts do not go completely from me when I reach a hurdle that seems insurmountable. The thing is I know once I start it is not an easy act to stop. Not that it would lead to death or the like. I have not done so for around 3 years. I did not mention thus to any primary caregivers, but when past scars were seen it ended up in my chart online. I was furious and nearly started again. I know many do not understand self-harm and see it as a precursor to suicide. Nothing like ramping up the past. Arrgh they just don't understand!!!
Not wise to blow a fuse either…this information appeared in my record as well as the D.I.D. from the therapist. Went off on her for breaking confidentiality and then things-well. We, I and they are all me. Mostly integrated unless the stress becomes more than "I" can handle.
So even through all of that no self-harming occurred.
Thank you for asking. The ugly thing about self-harming is the shame from others which further reinforces the need to do so. Each urge resisted is a victory for the the one self-harming. Like other addictions-it can be overcome which [for me] does not mean the desire is not still there in hard times. This is likely true of any addiction
There are many types of self-harm and all are not visible.

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@rlinstrot

@parus – I am new, do you mean that self help books are a trigger because they tell you what you “should” be doing and then cause you to start scratching?

Elect
Uh

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@rlinstrot In answer to your question about self-help books…Yes. These type of books, for me, are harmful. Mostly it is the attitude of the author who believes what has worked for them will work for others and if their book is not helpful the reader has failed. Thus, my way of avoiding "triggers" is not reading such.
My issue.

Liked by Lisa Lucier

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@parus

Self help books are a trigger for me. Talk to my doctor? Not an option at all.

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@hopeful33250 I did answer about self-help books to @rlinstrot . Took the time to think it through a tad more.

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@ryman @parus I have read this entire thread and found it so interesting to see how others view self-harming, PTSD, depression,etc. I have had severe bouts of depression several times, have gone through counseling, have had SSRIs prescribed at times, etc. For me, I find that self-harming can take several forms, and as parus said, not all are that visible. What has worked for me may not work for others. I try to journal in longhand, and took courses in graphology to analyze what was under the words. I do crafts to keep my hands and mind busy, creating something to donate, rather than diving into food/mindless eating/self destructive things. I go for walks and watch nature around me. Does it sound like distraction? Yep, it is. I need to get out of my own head, to not bring up nor dwell on past memories, and realize that the sun will rise in the east/set in the West today, tomorrow, and the next day. I have to take responsibility for myself, and tell myself constantly that I am worth taking care of, by whatever means needed, and what works for me is unique to me.

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