Recognizing my own bias or prejudice .....

Posted by ellerbracke @ellerbracke, Sat, Aug 31 5:14pm

I know I am very guilty of classifying people in general, and regarding weight in particular. Living in the bible/heart attack/ diabetes belt, it simply blows my mind how many obese people I see every single day when out and about. Granted, fewer of those at Dillard’s than Walmart. Still, in addition to being concerned, I am also judging those people. I know I should not, but how in the world can someone get that fat? It would take years of dedicated overeating to reach that. No, I really don’t think that all of them have a medical issue, seeing what’s in their grocery carts. Someone help me get a less judgmental attitude when I’ve been semi-denying myself all those chips and cookies and fries for decades?? I live and eat well, but treats should be treats, not daily food.

I think your sharing these thoughts you have about what you see as a judgemental attitude is brave. It really is refreshing to hear someone expressing a perceived prejudice. I use the word perceived only because I am not judging you in what you're saying. I have always thought of myself as non judgmental and not prejudiced in any way toward anyone or anything. However, I find myself thinking things that are definitely prejudiced. I notice it when it happens and just say to myself that I should and do know better, but since I'm still only a human being on a very complicated path through life, I'm gonna keep slipping. When I stop messing up, then I will be an angel or a saint! But I definitely will no longer be earth bound!

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Hello @ellerbracke and @georgette12

You have brought up a very interesting topic, that of body image, especially regarding women. Some time ago when I was being weighed at the doctor's office prior to an appointment this note was posted above the scale:

"The numbers on a scale merely represent your body's relationship with gravity. They do not determine worth, talent, beauty, or the ability to have a wonderful heart."

Many women have problems with body image and become pre-occupied with being thin. They generally have more health problems than do heavier folks.

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@hopeful33250

Hello @ellerbracke and @georgette12

You have brought up a very interesting topic, that of body image, especially regarding women. Some time ago when I was being weighed at the doctor's office prior to an appointment this note was posted above the scale:

"The numbers on a scale merely represent your body's relationship with gravity. They do not determine worth, talent, beauty, or the ability to have a wonderful heart."

Many women have problems with body image and become pre-occupied with being thin. They generally have more health problems than do heavier folks.

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@hopeful33250 What a great and reassuring sign. I think doctors have to walk a fine line between not saying something and trying to let their patients know the health risks they are causing by being overweight. I’ve thought about that a lot, having been very overweight. I am sure my health problems were a result of my being overweight, although most people who are heavy don’t develop cirrhosis, and some who are not heavy do – I guess it’s all in how our body processes the food. No doctor ever said anything about losing weight until I BROUGHT IT UP with my current PCP. He told me I should try to cut down on portions when I asked, a very gentle suggestion. Now he is constantly amazed at how much I lost and maintained that loss! I guess they’re afraid that if they come on too strong the patient may not want to see a doctor anymore or change to a different doctor.
In my last job my boss and I coincidentally both ended up going to the same doctor, one who was new in town. He said if she made him get weighed he was walking out! You actually do not have to get weighed unless they are prescribing something where the dosage can vary depending on weight.
On a related note, since fracturing my femur I have lost weight without trying! I thought for sure that I would gain since I am not going to my health club for exercise. I can only presume that our bodies burn calories trying to heal. The same thing happened after my last TKR, so much so that I was getting worried. I lost 10 pounds that time.
JK

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@contentandwell

@hopeful33250 What a great and reassuring sign. I think doctors have to walk a fine line between not saying something and trying to let their patients know the health risks they are causing by being overweight. I’ve thought about that a lot, having been very overweight. I am sure my health problems were a result of my being overweight, although most people who are heavy don’t develop cirrhosis, and some who are not heavy do – I guess it’s all in how our body processes the food. No doctor ever said anything about losing weight until I BROUGHT IT UP with my current PCP. He told me I should try to cut down on portions when I asked, a very gentle suggestion. Now he is constantly amazed at how much I lost and maintained that loss! I guess they’re afraid that if they come on too strong the patient may not want to see a doctor anymore or change to a different doctor.
In my last job my boss and I coincidentally both ended up going to the same doctor, one who was new in town. He said if she made him get weighed he was walking out! You actually do not have to get weighed unless they are prescribing something where the dosage can vary depending on weight.
On a related note, since fracturing my femur I have lost weight without trying! I thought for sure that I would gain since I am not going to my health club for exercise. I can only presume that our bodies burn calories trying to heal. The same thing happened after my last TKR, so much so that I was getting worried. I lost 10 pounds that time.
JK

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@contentandwell
Interesting thoughts, JK. Thanks for sharing!

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Just wondering if anyone else has any thoughts about body image and/or eating disorders. Have you known of anyone who has had an eating disorder? As younger women are most affected by the race-to-thinness, what can be done?

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@contentandwell

@hopeful33250 What a great and reassuring sign. I think doctors have to walk a fine line between not saying something and trying to let their patients know the health risks they are causing by being overweight. I’ve thought about that a lot, having been very overweight. I am sure my health problems were a result of my being overweight, although most people who are heavy don’t develop cirrhosis, and some who are not heavy do – I guess it’s all in how our body processes the food. No doctor ever said anything about losing weight until I BROUGHT IT UP with my current PCP. He told me I should try to cut down on portions when I asked, a very gentle suggestion. Now he is constantly amazed at how much I lost and maintained that loss! I guess they’re afraid that if they come on too strong the patient may not want to see a doctor anymore or change to a different doctor.
In my last job my boss and I coincidentally both ended up going to the same doctor, one who was new in town. He said if she made him get weighed he was walking out! You actually do not have to get weighed unless they are prescribing something where the dosage can vary depending on weight.
On a related note, since fracturing my femur I have lost weight without trying! I thought for sure that I would gain since I am not going to my health club for exercise. I can only presume that our bodies burn calories trying to heal. The same thing happened after my last TKR, so much so that I was getting worried. I lost 10 pounds that time.
JK

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@ellerbracke
Yes, your absolutely right, you/we shouldn’t judge. It’s hard not to sometimes. I don’t understand family members giving morbidly obese people who can’t get out of bed whatever and how ever much food they want when they already weigh 4, 5, 600 pounds
I became overweight when my dad was in the hospital for 7 months. Maybe it was a coping mechanism. Sounds better than I was a pig. I went up to 225 pounds but I quickly lost that weight when I started swimming 5 miles a day. That lasted until my shoulder surgeries made it to difficult. I kept eating my candy bars and root beer float at bedtime so it was just poor eating habits, wrong food and to much of it and lack of enough exercise.
I went to the doctor and she said “Don’t lose any more weight (I weighed 142) so being obedient as I am I obeyed, well sort of. I ended up gaining 85 pounds. I was happily sitting at home munching on a candy bar, my food of choice, when the phone rang, it was my doctor and she never hesitates to say what’s on her mind. She said “Your fat and your going to do something about it.” She sent me to a Nutritionist and the gym and she called the gym weekly to verify I was showing up every day. I’ve lost 67 pounds so far with at least 22 more to go. I’d lost 70 pounds but a lady here forced me to order a bunch of Purdue’s candy from Canada and I gained a few back. Bad Connect member, shame on you!!!
Jake

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@jakedduck1

@ellerbracke
Yes, your absolutely right, you/we shouldn’t judge. It’s hard not to sometimes. I don’t understand family members giving morbidly obese people who can’t get out of bed whatever and how ever much food they want when they already weigh 4, 5, 600 pounds
I became overweight when my dad was in the hospital for 7 months. Maybe it was a coping mechanism. Sounds better than I was a pig. I went up to 225 pounds but I quickly lost that weight when I started swimming 5 miles a day. That lasted until my shoulder surgeries made it to difficult. I kept eating my candy bars and root beer float at bedtime so it was just poor eating habits, wrong food and to much of it and lack of enough exercise.
I went to the doctor and she said “Don’t lose any more weight (I weighed 142) so being obedient as I am I obeyed, well sort of. I ended up gaining 85 pounds. I was happily sitting at home munching on a candy bar, my food of choice, when the phone rang, it was my doctor and she never hesitates to say what’s on her mind. She said “Your fat and your going to do something about it.” She sent me to a Nutritionist and the gym and she called the gym weekly to verify I was showing up every day. I’ve lost 67 pounds so far with at least 22 more to go. I’d lost 70 pounds but a lady here forced me to order a bunch of Purdue’s candy from Canada and I gained a few back. Bad Connect member, shame on you!!!
Jake

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@jakedduck1 Good for you to lose this much keep it up see how much powerful women are lol

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@jakedduck1

@ellerbracke
Yes, your absolutely right, you/we shouldn’t judge. It’s hard not to sometimes. I don’t understand family members giving morbidly obese people who can’t get out of bed whatever and how ever much food they want when they already weigh 4, 5, 600 pounds
I became overweight when my dad was in the hospital for 7 months. Maybe it was a coping mechanism. Sounds better than I was a pig. I went up to 225 pounds but I quickly lost that weight when I started swimming 5 miles a day. That lasted until my shoulder surgeries made it to difficult. I kept eating my candy bars and root beer float at bedtime so it was just poor eating habits, wrong food and to much of it and lack of enough exercise.
I went to the doctor and she said “Don’t lose any more weight (I weighed 142) so being obedient as I am I obeyed, well sort of. I ended up gaining 85 pounds. I was happily sitting at home munching on a candy bar, my food of choice, when the phone rang, it was my doctor and she never hesitates to say what’s on her mind. She said “Your fat and your going to do something about it.” She sent me to a Nutritionist and the gym and she called the gym weekly to verify I was showing up every day. I’ve lost 67 pounds so far with at least 22 more to go. I’d lost 70 pounds but a lady here forced me to order a bunch of Purdue’s candy from Canada and I gained a few back. Bad Connect member, shame on you!!!
Jake

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Too tired to compute your stated numbers over the years ….. Right now, may I ask? How tall, how old, ok weight, mostly upbeat in outlook (yup, I get you don’t like to cook but that should not depress you).

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@ellerbracke

Too tired to compute your stated numbers over the years ….. Right now, may I ask? How tall, how old, ok weight, mostly upbeat in outlook (yup, I get you don’t like to cook but that should not depress you).

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I think there was a reference to swimming 5 miles a day? I worked myself up to swimming 1/2 mile at an indoor pool, very short track, limited to backstroke bc of knee, in roughly 50 minutes. Slowpoke, but good aerobics Where did you accomplish yours?

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@ellerbracke

Too tired to compute your stated numbers over the years ….. Right now, may I ask? How tall, how old, ok weight, mostly upbeat in outlook (yup, I get you don’t like to cook but that should not depress you).

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@ellerbracke
I’m 5’91/2” tall, 160lbs, to damn old 66yrs 6mo 8 days about 13 1/2 hrs give or take an hr or so, weight now 160, goal 140-145, your right I loath to cook, Just looking in the kitchen is a stressor especially if the floor needs mopped or there are dishes to be done. Not cooking makes it easier to lose weight though. Not depressed at all. My doc said I was once but I question that diagnosis. Might have been but if so the UPS driver fixed that.
Jake

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@ellerbracke

I think there was a reference to swimming 5 miles a day? I worked myself up to swimming 1/2 mile at an indoor pool, very short track, limited to backstroke bc of knee, in roughly 50 minutes. Slowpoke, but good aerobics Where did you accomplish yours?

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Can’t get the 5 miles per day out of my mind. Sorry to be obsessed by that. Otherwise, mostly based on some of your posts in several different groups – life would be so much easier, generally, if you would share my “hate-sweets” tooth. I don’t mind a small dark chocolate bar a few evenings a week, but the thought of having to eat ice cream or cake or doughnuts is revolting to me. All I (and husband) do at grandson’s birthday parties is to get the tiniest little sliver of commercial cake, and eat half, and try to dump the rest. Get me some spicy salsa, and chips, and I’ll compromise….. mostly salsa, preferably with spoon.

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@ellerbracke

Can’t get the 5 miles per day out of my mind. Sorry to be obsessed by that. Otherwise, mostly based on some of your posts in several different groups – life would be so much easier, generally, if you would share my “hate-sweets” tooth. I don’t mind a small dark chocolate bar a few evenings a week, but the thought of having to eat ice cream or cake or doughnuts is revolting to me. All I (and husband) do at grandson’s birthday parties is to get the tiniest little sliver of commercial cake, and eat half, and try to dump the rest. Get me some spicy salsa, and chips, and I’ll compromise….. mostly salsa, preferably with spoon.

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Really? At your height you aim for 160 lbs? Sounds very acceptable to me, but then, I’m quite a bit older than you. With assorted joint surgeries, but very proudly sporting (at age 70) still what used to be considered body measurements. Mine currently 37-29-37. Do/did work for those, pretty much going back decades, and active exercises. Well, it works, it seems. So now you can question my measurements (=very unusual), the way I questioned your 5 mile swim. Also, very unusual. I’l love to live near you and cook the heck out of your basic ingredients.

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@contentandwell : Losing weight without trying: yes. Every time after extensive dental procedures (implants with complications), and each and every surgery (2 shoulders, 2 knees) I lost my appetite since I was either in pain, or unable to exercise. Re. dental issues with eating: the simple fact that one cannot eat as quickly, or as indiscriminately as usual, makes for a slower mealtime. Mostly this also means less time to eat, less food consumed. ,

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@ellerbracke

I think there was a reference to swimming 5 miles a day? I worked myself up to swimming 1/2 mile at an indoor pool, very short track, limited to backstroke bc of knee, in roughly 50 minutes. Slowpoke, but good aerobics Where did you accomplish yours?

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@ellerbracke
Sounds like you don’t believe me but heres an award for swimming. Good thing I was swimming so much. It saved me when I got caught in a rip tide in Carmel, Ca. (Monterey Bay, home to Great White Sharks. ) Very scary in the Pacific ocean when all you can see is water. It took me hours to get to shore.

I swam at the YMCA
5:30am-6:30am, m-f
11:30am-1:00pm, m-f
5:30-6:30pm, m-f
Since I was a volunteer there I had a key so would also go after hours occasionally.

The photo says YUBA CITY 210 Miles I got pledges to swim that far and paid for a lap clock and lane ropes for the YMCA.

Very admirable about your measurements. You have better willpower than I do.
My goal is 145lbs and a 31” waist which I already achieved hopefully I’ll get down to a 30” or 32” waistline.
Jake

5FBEA263-0927-4BBE-B068-04515DB09FDD

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@hopeful33250

Hello @ellerbracke and @georgette12

You have brought up a very interesting topic, that of body image, especially regarding women. Some time ago when I was being weighed at the doctor's office prior to an appointment this note was posted above the scale:

"The numbers on a scale merely represent your body's relationship with gravity. They do not determine worth, talent, beauty, or the ability to have a wonderful heart."

Many women have problems with body image and become pre-occupied with being thin. They generally have more health problems than do heavier folks.

Jump to this post

@hopeful33250 That is an uplifting note. I recall as a child that my dad waged a battle with weight, as he had a job that didn't have a lot of exercise, but had a big appetite, and little down time to do activities. My mother shamed him into Metracal shakes, raw eggs washed down with coffee for breakfast, etc. He was a tall man and his family were all tall with "heavy bones", where my mother and her side were fairly petite. I have a picture where I look exactly like my dad's sister, who was not a small lady. My sisters, on the other hand, all took after my mother's side. But I have not spent a lot of time on body image. Rather, I know for myself that I eat as healthy as possible, exercise as I can, and am who I am – strong, considerate, respectful, compassionate.

@ellerbracke The lure of salt and fat that is irresistible to so many, is a contributing factor. Mass media fosters gluttony, as do fast food outlets, printed advertisements. Add to that the very real emotional satisfaction that some people get from eating, even if it is wrong, and it can be a recipe for more weight than healthy. We never know what someone is going through. By looking at someone, you do not know their health, or emotional struggles, nor their socio-economic struggles. Lower income earners may choose to go for less expensive but also less healthy food choices, just to fill their stomachs. For many people, eating is a social thing, whether alone or in a group. Asking for help to be less judgmental, I would refer back to the saying "judge not lest you be judged".
Ginger

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