Patience

If you're an Old-Testament-Kind-of-Guy, here are some readings that might be helpful:

"Old Testament passages on anger emphasize that being slow to anger is a virtue of wisdom and strength, while hasty, unrestrained wrath leads to sin and folly. Key verses advocate for controlling one's spirit (Proverbs 16:32), turning from evil (Psalm 37:8), and showing mercy, as God is described as "slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love" (Psalm 103:8)"

...but you are a New-Testament-Kind-of-Guy, here's a reading for you:

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20, ESV).

...and if you are not a Christian, count your blessings anyway: The only thing that is frustrating you right now is your wife's battle with her phone. At least, she can find her phone. (My husband asks me 10 times a day where his cell phone is; and when I tell him that it's in his office, he asks me his office is.) Just hope that your wife's condition doesn't progress to the point where she starts walking out the door naked, or lose control over her bladder and/or bowels, etc.

I feel for you because we are in the same boat--only much more advanced down the road in this unwanted journey. Keep your sense of humor! I joke that God gave me an 84-year-old, two-year old to teach me to be a better mother. (I raised three children, one of whom called me a "so-called mom" when she was 10 years old.)

Don't sweat the small stuff.

All my prayers,
George's Wife (77-year-old mother)

You better believe it's hard; I'm confronted with the same thing, with the phone and PC, and bill paying even though most are on auto pay, has been extremely hard to have my husband relinquish his duties; He goes in and pays it again anyway or doesn't pay. We agree we are doing it together, and then he goes off, does what he does, doesn't catch things wrong in our accounts. Last night was a nightmare trying to figure out what happened and what turned out to be a meltdown, by both of us. All the upset, back and forth, because he refuses to do it together - maybe he doesn't remember. It's so overwhelming. I'm constantly worried, when he's on the phone or PC, with what he is doing. There's always some crisis that creates a tailspin for him and me. It's really such a baffing disease, and my husband is on the lequembe after 16 infusions. I'm trying to decide if I see any change. Does any other caregiver out there where their husband is on lequembe notice an improvement, and when? I hope there is some improvement and soon.
Good morning to all......Best,

This really resonates with me. My husband really is struggling with using his iPhone, iPad and computer. Also sometimes the TV. He spends inordinate amounts of time reading emails. He forwards half of his emails to me to act upon, even though I get many of the same emails and take action as soon as I get them. But, in a way, I’m glad that the emails give him something to focus on. It’s very hard to be patient and responsive sometimes. I do better if I get a break during the day so I have been trying to make plans, do errands and exercise.

They say patience is a virtue🙄
My husband use to enjoy his phone, especially the you tube videos. It certainly helped to keep him occupied. He was always interrupting me to help him with it. At that time it seemed to be an annoyance to me. Today he can’t use his phone any longer, nor can he turn on the TV or change the programs. His world is becoming smaller and it’s harder to find things to occupy his time. Help your wife to be able to enjoy things all you can while she still can.

@wctdoc1943 Thank you for your post. It resonates with me as well. Patience is very thin at our house. Add in a dose of anger, frustration and loneliness and that describes my issues. My spouse is still labeled mild AD, but I do see some negative changes in behavior lately. He is losing his ability to use his phone for texts or calls, and he never checks his emails. We had a "dust up" the other night about the temperature of the hot water from his shower. That scared me enough to think he didn't know how to regulate the temperature any longer. I have called a plumber to lower the temperature, and am suggesting my husband move his showers to the morning. Although he didn't remember the exact issue of the argument we had, it bothered him that we went to bed angry, and he apologized today. He was always the sweetest guy and this reminds me he still is that person. It can be heartbreaking to witness these changes. I vow that I will walk away the next time he shows behavior close to anger. Arguing or challenging a dementia patient is not a good idea. I know it is up to me as a care partner to change the dynamic. This is so hard and we are only human. I am much better at this when I take time for myself. My spouse does better when he spends time with other people, and exercises daily. We try to eat a very clean diet and avoid alcohol too.

@kjc48 Currently my spouse is on a maintenance dose of Lecanemab as his CT scan showed a huge decline in his amyloid plaques. I do believe based on the results that the drug keeps progression down. We do not have any data re Tau levels currently though.

Take care of yourself and thanks for listening to me...

@moea
Maybe we should start a music group, and call it Anger, Frustration and Loneliness, and we can all wail about these feelings and have a way to vent our strong emotions.
Tra la-la. 🎶 🎵

@georgescraftjr Thank you so much for your response. I'm not a very religious person, but I understand I am the one who needs to be slow to anger and and to be very careful what I say and (especially) how I say it. I'm patient in many areas but this is difficult for me. Some of it is based on our relationship being difficult and confrontation (her style). Still it is on me to be better because she cannot. Thank you for the comments and the prayers.

@kjc48 Thank you for your comments. My wife has a masters in education and taught 40 years. Before me she was a widow who easily managed her own affairs and amassed thousands in savings on a teacher's salary. Fortunately I've set almost everything on auto billpay and she shows no interest in bills, except she panics when our dentist sends a "balance due" email after insurance pays their part. She would never be able to get into an online account and the last time she tried to write a check, she needed my help to complete it. So I'm lucky there. My wife is on no medications for dementia since there is so little evidence for significant benefit, but I understand the desire desire and reason for trying the limited "treatments" available.

@moea Thank you for sharing this morning. I'm at wits end today. One o'clock in the morning, sorting through financials - the mess my husband made that cropped up yesterday - and then getting up early, to beat him from getting up, leaves a real thin window of sleep. I appreciate your telling me about the results your spouse is getting rom Lecanemab and his huge decline in amyloid plaques. That's so good. And gives me the same hope. Best, Karla

@grandmajoan We're in almost exactly the same boat with the electronics. Unfortunately our TV remote requires some sequential steps that often trip up my wife. She spends a lot of time with emails and somehow is subscribed to numerous recipe sites, and she tries to save recipes (I do all the cooking and have my own recipe app). The last time she tried to follow a recipe, she could not do it. She was unable to make a grilled cheese sandwich recently. I get forwarded emails all the time, too.