1. < Depression & Anxiety

Depression and taking medicine for years

Posted by Jan @theotherone, Dec 7, 2017

I found this board several months ago but I joined just yesterday. I always felt I have nothing valuable to say. Anyway, now I feel the need to join. Events that have happened recently moved me to reach out either for support and to try to be helpful to other people.
I suffer from depression and taking medicine for years. I have experienced ups and downs, sometimes better sometimes worse times. You know it. In October I had to be hospitalized in psychiatric hospital. It was my third time to be there. The reason was that I tried to commit suicide. Weeks before that I felt totally desperate. My condition got worse and worse. I experienced big disappointments with some people who are close to me and I think that was the trigger for depression attack. I could barely sleep abut I always felt tired. I couldn't even cry, And I saw I getting on my wife's nerves. I just came to conclusion that it would be better if I stop all that. Luckily, in the hospital they saved my life (I was 2 days in coma). After ER, I was sent to psychiatric hospital. I stayed there for 5 weeks. I know I almost died then and now, even I still have problems with my mood and lack of energy, I want to reach for help and for support.
My depression is coming from my childhood. As a child, I was abused by my father and bullied in school. Maybe later I can tell more about it, I don't want to write it now. All those things marked me for life. I was 19, when I was able to leave home and I thought all bad is left behind, but it is not that easy. True, I know how to communicate now, I can find friends already but I still carry it with me wherever I go. The fears I have are reflected everywhere, when I talk to others, even when I doing as simple things as shopping. Many times memories come back to me, even as the nightmares, many times I have woke up with screaming.
There are many I would like to say, maybe by time I will be able.
Another reason I joined this forum is that I would like to be in some way helpful to others. We all have problems and I would like to be supportive to others because I know what does it mean to suffer. I hope i can contribute.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

pendragonart | @pendragonart | Dec 14, 2017
In reply to @parus "@jimhd Seems many of us have a lot in common. It is those "mares" that are..." + (show)
@parus

@jimhd Seems many of us have a lot in common. It is those "mares" that are difficult to deal with. I was always one to keep busy all the time. My bod gave out and I hit the bottom of the pit. A daily challenge for many of us to face. My abusive childhood had remained buried for a long time. Stuff happens and oft makes us what we are now. That old saying of, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" just ain't true!! I can still hear the recantations of my abusers. Many of us are survivors. Thanks again Jim.

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I cannot believe for a minute that your son would feel anything but supported and safer because of your presence.

REPLY
Lorraine | @desirea | Dec 14, 2017

I didn't think I would be posting so soon but "@theotherone" I can relate about the abuse except mine started when I left home and then later on marriage. You have a lot of courage to be still standing after all that you've been through. Wisdom grows in the strangest forms. I hope to see you around and to find what your looking for on your journey.

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1 reply
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Dec 14, 2017
In reply to @desirea "I didn't think I would be posting so soon but "@theotherone" I can relate about the..." + (show)
@desirea

I didn't think I would be posting so soon but "@theotherone" I can relate about the abuse except mine started when I left home and then later on marriage. You have a lot of courage to be still standing after all that you've been through. Wisdom grows in the strangest forms. I hope to see you around and to find what your looking for on your journey.

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Welcome @desirea

We are glad for your first post and welcome to Mayo Connect. We hope you find support and encouragement here.

Please feel free to share with us what brought you to Mayo Connect, we look forward to getting to know you.

Teresa

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Lorraine | @desirea | Dec 14, 2017

Hello Hopeful33250 I guess it was the timing that brought me to Mayo Connect and the channels of support you offered. I am a bit shy and too old to stay quiet for long! Thank You for the support in joining Mental Health.

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1 reply
peach414144 | @peach414144 | Dec 14, 2017
In reply to @parus "@jimhd Seems many of us have a lot in common. It is those "mares" that are..." + (show)
@parus

@jimhd Seems many of us have a lot in common. It is those "mares" that are difficult to deal with. I was always one to keep busy all the time. My bod gave out and I hit the bottom of the pit. A daily challenge for many of us to face. My abusive childhood had remained buried for a long time. Stuff happens and oft makes us what we are now. That old saying of, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" just ain't true!! I can still hear the recantations of my abusers. Many of us are survivors. Thanks again Jim.

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liked your post and thank you @pendragonart for your caring. peach@

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pendragonart | @pendragonart | Dec 14, 2017
In reply to @parus "@jimhd Seems many of us have a lot in common. It is those "mares" that are..." + (show)
@parus

@jimhd Seems many of us have a lot in common. It is those "mares" that are difficult to deal with. I was always one to keep busy all the time. My bod gave out and I hit the bottom of the pit. A daily challenge for many of us to face. My abusive childhood had remained buried for a long time. Stuff happens and oft makes us what we are now. That old saying of, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" just ain't true!! I can still hear the recantations of my abusers. Many of us are survivors. Thanks again Jim.

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yes I have survived MBProxy. I just wrote a long and sharing post about my life and then couldn't bear seeing it and feeling familiar shame and certainty it isn't real deleted it....I will post it when I can!

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Mentor
Jim, Volunteer Mentor | @jimhd | Dec 15, 2017
In reply to @desirea "Hello Hopeful33250 I guess it was the timing that brought me to Mayo Connect and the..." + (show)
@desirea

Hello Hopeful33250 I guess it was the timing that brought me to Mayo Connect and the channels of support you offered. I am a bit shy and too old to stay quiet for long! Thank You for the support in joining Mental Health.

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Welcome to Connect, @desirea

I've been shy all my life. I'm also very appreciative of the people and support in Mayo Connect. I look forward to hearing more from you.

Jim

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Lorraine | @desirea | Dec 15, 2017

Hello @jimhd Thank You for the welcome and yes, I feel the good energy here. I am happy to have found Connect and meeting everyone.

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alabamanutcase | @alabamanutcase | Dec 15, 2017

Thank you for your post. I also suffer with depression and have for many years. It was brave of you to join the group and share your message.

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1 reply
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Dec 15, 2017
In reply to @alabamanutcase "Thank you for your post. I also suffer with depression and have for many years. It..." + (show)
@alabamanutcase

Thank you for your post. I also suffer with depression and have for many years. It was brave of you to join the group and share your message.

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@alabamanutcase Thanks for you post. I see this is just your 2nd post on Mayo Connect. Welcome to our discussion - I hope we get to know you better as time goes on.

Teresa

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