Nervousness and Worry

Posted by pjss48 @pjss48, Jan 13, 2019

Does anyone have these problems? How do you handle it?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety group.

Me neither. But just have to wait and see if I hear from her soon. Patti

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@merpreb

@brit– Perhaps she's in a lot of pain and does not want to talk? I know that when I'm in pain, depressed or not feeling well I don't want to explain what's going on and I don't even want to talk much to my husband. I want to be mostly left alone. My sister always calls way too much and when this happens I have my husband talk to her. I wont get on the phone. I know that you are a caring person, it's very obvious, but it may be that you are overwhelming her with your love and worry? Can you text her? Perhaps just send a friendly text- miss you, hope that you are feeling better, or send her a joke or a picture that she might like. To tell you the truth I love my sister, and my husband, but I hate to feel smothered. It reminds me that I'm not well and exacerbates my PTSD. Does this make sense?

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I don't think I am really bothering her that much. She never gets on the phone and never emails. I have sent her a "get well" card but that's about it. All she has to do is let me know that she doesn't need to hear from me and I most certainly will go with her wish. But please say something…………………God Bless Patti

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@merpreb

@brit– Perhaps she's in a lot of pain and does not want to talk? I know that when I'm in pain, depressed or not feeling well I don't want to explain what's going on and I don't even want to talk much to my husband. I want to be mostly left alone. My sister always calls way too much and when this happens I have my husband talk to her. I wont get on the phone. I know that you are a caring person, it's very obvious, but it may be that you are overwhelming her with your love and worry? Can you text her? Perhaps just send a friendly text- miss you, hope that you are feeling better, or send her a joke or a picture that she might like. To tell you the truth I love my sister, and my husband, but I hate to feel smothered. It reminds me that I'm not well and exacerbates my PTSD. Does this make sense?

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A good point, @merpreb. I am not comfortable when I feel smothered with attention, even when it is well intentioned. It makes me feel like I'm incapable of handling things on my own, and that is just not acceptable to me.

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Sending an email everyday, to me, isn't being smothered. Just caring is what would call it and when you don't even get an answer well, that is acceptable
to me
Thanks for you thoughts God Bless Patti

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@brit

I don't think I am really bothering her that much. She never gets on the phone and never emails. I have sent her a "get well" card but that's about it. All she has to do is let me know that she doesn't need to hear from me and I most certainly will go with her wish. But please say something…………………God Bless Patti

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@brit– I'm sure that she doesn't want to say that. What does her husband say? Have you asked him why she wont speak with you?

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@merpreb

@brit– I'm sure that she doesn't want to say that. What does her husband say? Have you asked him why she wont speak with you?

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Just that she is resting. Her husband fills me in on her condition and is always kind and caring. I am at a loose Patti

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@brit

Sending an email everyday, to me, isn't being smothered. Just caring is what would call it and when you don't even get an answer well, that is acceptable
to me
Thanks for you thoughts God Bless Patti

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I hear you @brit. Well, maybe you do just have to wait. Or in an email, ask her why she wont take your calls or answer your emails?

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@merpreb

@brit– I'm sure that she doesn't want to say that. What does her husband say? Have you asked him why she wont speak with you?

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I haven't asked other than when will I be talking to her and he just says things like she's sleeping or things of that sort. I feel quite hurt about all this and I know (she knows me well) that there must be somethinng wrong. What I don't know but I will let her have her silence and maybe that will help her. It certainly isn't helping me God Bless Patti

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@brit– I know how how you must feel. When we are ignored, it's very stressful. So for now, let her have her silence and heal. She'll get back to you. But you have to move on too and fill your time now with something else other than worrying about her. You can't control her, make her call you or reply to her. So when I can't control something, I put it on the back burner of my mind until I can clear my head, say it's ok for now, even if it isn't. What else can you do? I'm very sorry that you have this to deal with, but you do know that she's well and being taken care of. I had to put a cabosh on my twin sister's visiting me when I was in te hospital. She was very hurt and sad. But she tended to take over. I'm certainly not saying that you do this, but families are complicated. Has she ever done this before, or said anything to you about your behavior towards her? Is she older or younger, I don't remember you saying this.

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She is 8 years younger than I am. Just don't understand what is going on but if its that she doesn'twant to talk to me then she will have her wish I will not push it or mention it anymore to her. Patti

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@brit– Well, it does seem like this, unfortunately. I'm sorry.

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@brit

Don't know what(something specific) really means. Just ask what you need to know. I'm open and will tell you ….really! I'm 73 years old depression and sadness has run in my family (icluding my grandmother). Ask and I will be glad to "fill you in" God Bless you and thank you for taking interest in my
situation. Its a pleasure to hear from you Patti

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Hello Brit, I understand! I have worried incessantly since I was a little girl. My mother and grandmother were the same way, so it would seem to be genetic. It seems natural to us, right? You have found a good place to share! Sending thoughts and prayers….Karen

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