Mayo Clinic Connect
Does anyone have these problems? How do you handle it?
Sending an email everyday, to me, isn't being smothered. Just caring is what would call it and when you don't even get an answer well, that is acceptable
Thanks for you thoughts God Bless Patti
Liked by Merry, Volunteer Mentor
I don't think I am really bothering her that much. She never gets on the phone and never emails. I have sent her a "get well" card but that's about it. All she has to do is let me know that she doesn't need to hear from me and I most certainly will go with her wish. But please say something…………………God Bless Patti
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@brit– I'm sure that she doesn't want to say that. What does her husband say? Have you asked him why she wont speak with you?
Liked by JK, Volunteer Mentor
Just that she is resting. Her husband fills me in on her condition and is always kind and caring. I am at a loose Patti
I hear you @brit. Well, maybe you do just have to wait. Or in an email, ask her why she wont take your calls or answer your emails?
I haven't asked other than when will I be talking to her and he just says things like she's sleeping or things of that sort. I feel quite hurt about all this and I know (she knows me well) that there must be somethinng wrong. What I don't know but I will let her have her silence and maybe that will help her. It certainly isn't helping me God Bless Patti
@brit– I know how how you must feel. When we are ignored, it's very stressful. So for now, let her have her silence and heal. She'll get back to you. But you have to move on too and fill your time now with something else other than worrying about her. You can't control her, make her call you or reply to her. So when I can't control something, I put it on the back burner of my mind until I can clear my head, say it's ok for now, even if it isn't. What else can you do? I'm very sorry that you have this to deal with, but you do know that she's well and being taken care of. I had to put a cabosh on my twin sister's visiting me when I was in te hospital. She was very hurt and sad. But she tended to take over. I'm certainly not saying that you do this, but families are complicated. Has she ever done this before, or said anything to you about your behavior towards her? Is she older or younger, I don't remember you saying this.
She is 8 years younger than I am. Just don't understand what is going on but if its that she doesn'twant to talk to me then she will have her wish I will not push it or mention it anymore to her. Patti
@brit– Well, it does seem like this, unfortunately. I'm sorry.
Don't know what(something specific) really means. Just ask what you need to know. I'm open and will tell you ….really! I'm 73 years old depression and sadness has run in my family (icluding my grandmother). Ask and I will be glad to "fill you in" God Bless you and thank you for taking interest in my
situation. Its a pleasure to hear from you Patti
Hello Brit, I understand! I have worried incessantly since I was a little girl. My mother and grandmother were the same way, so it would seem to be genetic. It seems natural to us, right? You have found a good place to share! Sending thoughts and prayers….Karen
@brit– Perhaps she's in a lot of pain and does not want to talk? I know that when I'm in pain, depressed or not feeling well I don't want to explain what's going on and I don't even want to talk much to my husband. I want to be mostly left alone. My sister always calls way too much and when this happens I have my husband talk to her. I wont get on the phone. I know that you are a caring person, it's very obvious, but it may be that you are overwhelming her with your love and worry? Can you text her? Perhaps just send a friendly text- miss you, hope that you are feeling better, or send her a joke or a picture that she might like. To tell you the truth I love my sister, and my husband, but I hate to feel smothered. It reminds me that I'm not well and exacerbates my PTSD. Does this make sense?
@merpreb It makes perfect sense to me, because I am the same way. I hate being smothered or when someone, trying to be nice, does something for me that I could easily do myself.
Also, as you suggested, she may be in pain and simply not feel like talking. If I recall correctly I was somewhat like that when I had my health problems leading up to my liver transplant.
Thank you Karen…….I think somehow I think you understand………God Bless and stay strong
Thanks Karen00 seems like we are in the same "boat" but its nice to know there is someone else out there that understands my worry and constant anxiety. Today I have to go to town and I really dread it. Seems like I want to shut myself out from the wonderful people around me………that is awful but I don't seem to have the strength to stop these feelings. We are going to have to live with it God Bless you Karen00, your certainly in my prayers. Patti
Liked by Lisa Lucier
@brit ….Hey Patti, did you go to town today? How did you do? Tell me about it! I didn’t leave the apt today. My pain was through the roof. Blessedly, it has stopped now.
You mentioned the “wonderful people around me”. You must have some awesome friends. That is such an important part of life-people who you’re comfortable with. They might not understand exactly how you feel, but they’re willing to try!
Thinking of you! ……..Karen
Karen thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I did go out yesterday and must say I enjoyed it instead of sitting at home worrrying about this situation I am in, Today I am going out with a friend. She invited me to lunch with her I am so blessed. How are you
doing? I really don't talk to much about myself to anyone accept my husband who is an angel. '
Today waking up the same, just down and worrying. Normal for
me, but in the afternoon I do feel somewhat better so that will
help. My friend and I will take a little drive and go to lunch…..that will be nice.
Hope you are feeling a little better but like me you take each day a it comes and just ask the Lord to help you and guide you int
the right direction.
God Bless you Karen…..hope to hear from you soon
@brit…..Hey Patti, so glad you went out! Sometimes the hardest thing is the best for us! I understand what you mean by not wanting to reveal too much of yourself. I’m unable to drive due to circumstances beyond my control. I miss church and making new friends. My brother and I spent our adult lives here, but we moved away for 7 years, and boy have things changed!
Keep me posted!…………Iren
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