My life turned from great to awful and back to good

Posted by tmmmrlts @tmmmrlts, Sun, Mar 1 11:30pm

Merry @merpreb is this where you were talking about. My name is melissa and I was a caregiver for my husband until he passed away 6/14/19. Since he passed, I was a mess for the first few months. I was just mad at the world and I wrecked my car and that made me feel like crap, it was one of the 2 cars that he had put together. I was always trying to do stuff to stay away from people. Then a switch happened i started going to grief meetings,and started going to church, got saved and baptized I started back to school to get my diploma, I graduate in May. My children thought I wasn’t grieving. But now they are proud of me for doing what I always encouraged them to do. I will always love and miss my husband. But when you realize you have to do what is best for you. Then you can start a different life and make it better for yourself. It’s not easy but if I can do it so can you.Thank you to all the wonderful people on here for keeping me strong. I graduate May 29th 2020 from the mers goodwill excel center.

@tmmmrlts– Melissa, yes this is the perfect place to tell your story. You are doing so remarkably well after such a long journey with your husband and his lung cancer. I can't imagine how you felt after losing him. I'm sure that it was devastating to watch. I know that a lot of people on here can empathize and support you for your strength and your fortitude. When you have bad moments now how are you handling them?

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@tmmmrlts, I've also added your message to the Loss & Grief group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/
It will be helpful for others to see how you chose to put your grief into action. I'm proud of you for going back to school and getting your diploma. I bet that wasn't easy at first, but likely a real eye-opener to be around young people. One has a different perspective about education as an adult learner, I think.

Do you still attend the grief group? How has it helped you?

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As a caregiver, I know how important a church family is and I'm so happy that you have one now. Wishing you the best.

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Thank you I have a wonderful church family. I had started going before my husband got sick. Wishing you the best and praying for you all

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@colleenyoung

@tmmmrlts, I've also added your message to the Loss & Grief group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/
It will be helpful for others to see how you chose to put your grief into action. I'm proud of you for going back to school and getting your diploma. I bet that wasn't easy at first, but likely a real eye-opener to be around young people. One has a different perspective about education as an adult learner, I think.

Do you still attend the grief group? How has it helped you?

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Yes I do that is helping to. It is so amazing to have friends I can talk to and not be judged

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@tmmmrlts

Yes I do that is helping to. It is so amazing to have friends I can talk to and not be judged

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Thank you

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@merpreb

@tmmmrlts– Melissa, yes this is the perfect place to tell your story. You are doing so remarkably well after such a long journey with your husband and his lung cancer. I can't imagine how you felt after losing him. I'm sure that it was devastating to watch. I know that a lot of people on here can empathize and support you for your strength and your fortitude. When you have bad moments now how are you handling them?

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I keep my grandchildren not as much. But mainly I try to keep busy. I also just cry once in a while. The death of my daughter is today. It has been 12 years. Last year we had a grandchild on this day Thank God it gives me something to look forward to. My husband Birthday is coming up. I don't know how it will go since I don't go to school that day. But I will survive until God calls me home. I have told people i have to live 18 more years so i can see all my grandkids graduate.

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@tmmmrlts

I keep my grandchildren not as much. But mainly I try to keep busy. I also just cry once in a while. The death of my daughter is today. It has been 12 years. Last year we had a grandchild on this day Thank God it gives me something to look forward to. My husband Birthday is coming up. I don't know how it will go since I don't go to school that day. But I will survive until God calls me home. I have told people i have to live 18 more years so i can see all my grandkids graduate.

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@tmmmrlts Isn't it wonderful how you have a joy to celebrate on the same day as it is also remembrance and sadness. Have you done anything to celebrate your daughter's life on her birthday these past 12 years? I really do appreciate you chose to share with us, and show us different ways to cope with grief and loss.
Ginger

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@tmmmrlts

Thank you I have a wonderful church family. I had started going before my husband got sick. Wishing you the best and praying for you all

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@tmmmrlts, fellow member @rmftucker also talks about cultivating social ties while caregiving and how helpful those friends and social connections are when you experience loss. I concur.

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@gingerw

@tmmmrlts Isn't it wonderful how you have a joy to celebrate on the same day as it is also remembrance and sadness. Have you done anything to celebrate your daughter's life on her birthday these past 12 years? I really do appreciate you chose to share with us, and show us different ways to cope with grief and loss.
Ginger

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Yes we send balloons off and we take flowers to her grave. My husbands birthday is saturday. We haven't made any plans since my son is in Texas working.

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@colleenyoung

@tmmmrlts, fellow member @rmftucker also talks about cultivating social ties while caregiving and how helpful those friends and social connections are when you experience loss. I concur.

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When my husband was in Barnes hospital. Jackie and I were friends and we have kept in contact ever since. We made stuff for each other

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12 more days of school. They are rescheduling graduation. I am so happy then off to college I hope. I am doing okay I still have a bunch of breakdowns. But I will be okay. My son works in Texas he made it home safe and sound. He has to leave out again. I'm so proud of my son. I love him so much. He is such a blessing from God..

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@tmmmrlts

12 more days of school. They are rescheduling graduation. I am so happy then off to college I hope. I am doing okay I still have a bunch of breakdowns. But I will be okay. My son works in Texas he made it home safe and sound. He has to leave out again. I'm so proud of my son. I love him so much. He is such a blessing from God..

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@tmmmrlts– This just makes my day! How wonderful. I hope that you are proud of yourself! I'm glad that your son has been such a help and comfort! So what is next for you?

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@tmmmrlts

12 more days of school. They are rescheduling graduation. I am so happy then off to college I hope. I am doing okay I still have a bunch of breakdowns. But I will be okay. My son works in Texas he made it home safe and sound. He has to leave out again. I'm so proud of my son. I love him so much. He is such a blessing from God..

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@tmmmrlts I echo @merpred! Your graduation is SO wonderful. You have persevered through a very difficult year—I am so pleased for you!

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I have got my grades and I will get my diploma as soon as this coronavirus calms down. Until then I am enrolling In college and getting ready to start in the fall. I have chose to do my best with the life I have been giving. I thank God and everyone who has supported me in my journey.

Screenshot_20200514-131809_StudentVUE

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