tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
Posts: 117
Joined: Jan 07, 2019
My life turned from great to awful and back to good
Merry @merpreb is this where you were talking about. My name is melissa and I was a caregiver for my husband until he passed away 6/14/19. Since he passed, I was a mess for the first few months. I was just mad at the world and I wrecked my car and that made me feel like crap, it was one of the 2 cars that he had put together. I was always trying to do stuff to stay away from people. Then a switch happened i started going to grief meetings,and started going to church, got saved and baptized I started back to school to get my diploma, I graduate in May. My children thought I wasn’t grieving. But now they are proud of me for doing what I always encouraged them to do. I will always love and miss my husband. But when you realize you have to do what is best for you. Then you can start a different life and make it better for yourself. It’s not easy but if I can do it so can you.Thank you to all the wonderful people on here for keeping me strong. I graduate May 29th 2020 from the mers goodwill excel center.
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Colleen Young, Connect Director
@colleenyoung
@colleenyoung
Posts: 10056
Joined: Jul 23, 2014
@tmmmrlts, I've also added your message to the Loss & Grief group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/
It will be helpful for others to see how you chose to put your grief into action. I'm proud of you for going back to school and getting your diploma. I bet that wasn't easy at first, but likely a real eye-opener to be around young people. One has a different perspective about education as an adult learner, I think.
Do you still attend the grief group? How has it helped you?
walisky
@walisky
@walisky
Posts: 40
Joined: Jul 09, 2018
As a caregiver, I know how important a church family is and I'm so happy that you have one now. Wishing you the best.
tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
Posts: 117
Joined: Jan 07, 2019
Thank you I have a wonderful church family. I had started going before my husband got sick. Wishing you the best and praying for you all
tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
Posts: 117
Joined: Jan 07, 2019
@tmmmrlts, I've also added your message to the Loss & Grief group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/
It will be helpful for others to see how you chose to put your grief into action. I'm proud of you for going back to school and getting your diploma. I bet that wasn't easy at first, but likely a real eye-opener to be around young people. One has a different perspective about education as an adult learner, I think.
Do you still attend the grief group? How has it helped you?
Yes I do that is helping to. It is so amazing to have friends I can talk to and not be judged
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tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
Posts: 117
Joined: Jan 07, 2019
Yes I do that is helping to. It is so amazing to have friends I can talk to and not be judged
Thank you
tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
Posts: 117
Joined: Jan 07, 2019
@tmmmrlts– Melissa, yes this is the perfect place to tell your story. You are doing so remarkably well after such a long journey with your husband and his lung cancer. I can't imagine how you felt after losing him. I'm sure that it was devastating to watch. I know that a lot of people on here can empathize and support you for your strength and your fortitude. When you have bad moments now how are you handling them?
I keep my grandchildren not as much. But mainly I try to keep busy. I also just cry once in a while. The death of my daughter is today. It has been 12 years. Last year we had a grandchild on this day Thank God it gives me something to look forward to. My husband Birthday is coming up. I don't know how it will go since I don't go to school that day. But I will survive until God calls me home. I have told people i have to live 18 more years so i can see all my grandkids graduate.
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Ginger, Volunteer Mentor
@gingerw
@gingerw
Posts: 3169
Joined: Jul 26, 2018
I keep my grandchildren not as much. But mainly I try to keep busy. I also just cry once in a while. The death of my daughter is today. It has been 12 years. Last year we had a grandchild on this day Thank God it gives me something to look forward to. My husband Birthday is coming up. I don't know how it will go since I don't go to school that day. But I will survive until God calls me home. I have told people i have to live 18 more years so i can see all my grandkids graduate.
@tmmmrlts Isn't it wonderful how you have a joy to celebrate on the same day as it is also remembrance and sadness. Have you done anything to celebrate your daughter's life on her birthday these past 12 years? I really do appreciate you chose to share with us, and show us different ways to cope with grief and loss.
Ginger
Colleen Young, Connect Director
@colleenyoung
@colleenyoung
Posts: 10056
Joined: Jul 23, 2014
Thank you I have a wonderful church family. I had started going before my husband got sick. Wishing you the best and praying for you all
@tmmmrlts, fellow member @rmftucker also talks about cultivating social ties while caregiving and how helpful those friends and social connections are when you experience loss. I concur.
tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
Posts: 117
Joined: Jan 07, 2019
@tmmmrlts Isn't it wonderful how you have a joy to celebrate on the same day as it is also remembrance and sadness. Have you done anything to celebrate your daughter's life on her birthday these past 12 years? I really do appreciate you chose to share with us, and show us different ways to cope with grief and loss.
Ginger
Yes we send balloons off and we take flowers to her grave. My husbands birthday is saturday. We haven't made any plans since my son is in Texas working.
tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
Posts: 117
Joined: Jan 07, 2019
@tmmmrlts, fellow member @rmftucker also talks about cultivating social ties while caregiving and how helpful those friends and social connections are when you experience loss. I concur.
When my husband was in Barnes hospital. Jackie and I were friends and we have kept in contact ever since. We made stuff for each other
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tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
Posts: 117
Joined: Jan 07, 2019
12 more days of school. They are rescheduling graduation. I am so happy then off to college I hope. I am doing okay I still have a bunch of breakdowns. But I will be okay. My son works in Texas he made it home safe and sound. He has to leave out again. I'm so proud of my son. I love him so much. He is such a blessing from God..
Merry, Volunteer Mentor
@merpreb
@merpreb
Posts: 5036
Joined: Feb 07, 2018
12 more days of school. They are rescheduling graduation. I am so happy then off to college I hope. I am doing okay I still have a bunch of breakdowns. But I will be okay. My son works in Texas he made it home safe and sound. He has to leave out again. I'm so proud of my son. I love him so much. He is such a blessing from God..
@tmmmrlts– This just makes my day! How wonderful. I hope that you are proud of yourself! I'm glad that your son has been such a help and comfort! So what is next for you?
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Becky, Volunteer Mentor
@becsbuddy
@becsbuddy
Posts: 1563
Joined: Nov 09, 2018
12 more days of school. They are rescheduling graduation. I am so happy then off to college I hope. I am doing okay I still have a bunch of breakdowns. But I will be okay. My son works in Texas he made it home safe and sound. He has to leave out again. I'm so proud of my son. I love him so much. He is such a blessing from God..
@tmmmrlts I echo @merpred! Your graduation is SO wonderful. You have persevered through a very difficult year—I am so pleased for you!
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tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
@tmmmrlts
Posts: 117
Joined: Jan 07, 2019
I have got my grades and I will get my diploma as soon as this coronavirus calms down. Until then I am enrolling In college and getting ready to start in the fall. I have chose to do my best with the life I have been giving. I thank God and everyone who has supported me in my journey.
@merpreb
@tmmmrlts– Melissa, yes this is the perfect place to tell your story. You are doing so remarkably well after such a long journey with your husband and his lung cancer. I can't imagine how you felt after losing him. I'm sure that it was devastating to watch. I know that a lot of people on here can empathize and support you for your strength and your fortitude. When you have bad moments now how are you handling them?
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