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Son was killed unexpectedly
After years of what we think was bi-polar mental illness, our son was in a suicidal state. He was also armed and a threat to himself. Police were called and he died during altercation. He was also a loving son, father,husband when he was “himself”. My husband is being treated at Mayo Clinic for advanced prostate/bone cancer
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I am so very sorry for your loss. A death of one’s child leaves a permanent hole in your heart. We loss our som, 3 years ago, and we grief every day. Just keep talking to him and pray.
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7 ReactionsI’m truly sorry for your loss, losing your child is every parent’ nightmare no matter what age, may your soul heal daily and know that he is with God and at peace, amen 🙏.
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3 ReactionsI’m so sorry for your loss. It’s difficult to know what to say when something so devastating happens. Sending you warm wishes for peace and comfort. And healing for your husband.
How very sad. You did all you could do, surely, many times. It must be devastating to have lost him finally, despite your best intentions and good will, and love. toward him.
I don't know if prayer is something you can bring yourself to do, but silently composing one in your head, taking your time, may help...some.
When you feel you can do it, please invite a dear friend over and ask for that person's ear for a bit, or just sit with them. Neither of you needs to say anything. And also, please, soon, go out for a long stroll. Your body will endure the grief better if it gets some exercise...believe it or not, and so will your mind. Maybe that friend will accompany you.
@jej55555 thank you we are praying that he is now safe in the fathers arms
I am so sorry that you have had to endure this. I know that it is truly painful, soul ripping pain. Allow yourself to grieve and be sure and let it out. I still talk to my partner as I believe he is still listening. I know that there is something beyond this human body. Do not let anyone tell you how to grieve or how long you need to grieve. It is different for everyone. Stay in touch with us on this site as well as friends, friends that you trust with your life. Please take care of yourself during this time. I know it seems very dark and the pain never really goes away, it does, however, become easier to deal with although I know it does not seem like it at the moment.
I’m sorry to hear about the death of your son and how tragic the situation was. Are you able to get help from family or friends? If there is any grief group near you it could be a help. You have gone through a hard loss and also have your husband’s health to deal with. This seems too much to deal with on your own. I have found help with a grief group and a grief counselor for the death of my wife. Several people in the groups had lost a child. I hope help is available for you. Please take care.
Your encouragement and kindness are very helpful. Moments of clarity
…thankful to God for our time with him
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2 Reactions@gramabonnie5, as others have said, losing a child leaves a space that can never be filled. While the grief may not get smaller, life continues to grow around it, embraces it, and allows us to have moments of smiles and fond memories too.
I can imagine with your husband's diagnosis of metastatic prostate cancer that has spread to the bones, you are scared about losing him, too. Caring for someone living with cancer isn't easy. You might wish to follow the Prostate Cancer support group where men living with prostate cancer and their partners share information and give and get support. See here:
- Prostate Cancer Support Group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/prostate-cancer/
This might be a good place to start:
- Any suggestions for the wife on how to support my husband? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/any-suggestions-for-the-wife/
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