How do you change the perception of aging?

@merpreb yes can so relate to your mom's words!

@marjou I know it's not the same - but adaptation is the theme of 2020 - have you considered line dancing to stay on your feet, and combat the black fog? Throughout our lockdown this Spring, we continued our weekly line dancing sessions - socially distanced, on our neighbor's covered carport. Still miss our old-time dancing - and our band friends are champing at the bit to get back to playing, but I'm afraid it's a bit too soon for indoor gatherings...
Sue

Sue: Wow! they live 150 miles from one another and they are not tech savvy? Does the latter mean they can't email one another? I think your friend should try to get involved with events and activities closer to home. Where does your friend live? In my case I am in a big city and although all the things I like to do - going to the Frick Museum or the Metropolitan are not open to me now. The Frick offers two programs online that are wonderful but I am a member and receive their virtual programs online each Wednesday and Friday at 5 pm. It might be offered on You tube, but it sounds like your neighbor is not technical at all with Iphones or emails. Perhaps there is something else for her if she is in assisted living. I doubt if I can offer any ideas for her not knowing enough about her situation, health, education and abilities. We all have to do the best we can with what we are blessed with at this point in time.

@sueinmn I do put on music via YouTube and dance by myself but as you say it's not the same.

@sapphira They are both in their own homes, as couples they were friends since childhood, and lost spouses the same year. It is a lovely friendship and I encourage her to maintain it... They are both very involved close to their homes, which is why the relationship remains a distance one. She told me they each plan to self-quarantine for two weeks in July, then he will come to visit for a week or two. All of her/our senior activities are still closed in centers and churches so contacts are hard to come by if you're not tech capable...

I am excited because I just arranged an outdoor visit with my 94 yo friend and her resident daughter. During the visit I will configure her PC with Zoom so she can join our Master Gardener meetings. A mutual friend is doing the same for one of the other non-tech-savvy MG's who is her close friend so they can see each other again. We made a plan last week to reach out and do this for as many MG's as possible because it looks like we may be in "distance mode" for a long while - especially those of us who are older, have risk issues, or are caretakers.

Covid-19 is starting to look like a marathon instead of a 5k race! I won't feel safe until we have an effective vaccine.

Sue

@sapphira I am 78, and look in the mirror, and cannot understand how I have physically changed, so much . I absolutely hate how much I have changed. I never thought I was beautiful, but I always looked so much better than now. It truly bothers me. I wish I didn’t feel like I do.

@dederickve so sorry you feel so sad, though you really aren’t alone in how you feel…but, there’s so much we can do in older years that is an offset to all that…because we can summon your inner spirit, strength and creativity in ways we never used to have time for… and find satisfying new projects…and definitely not worry about what we think others think of us…(they are busy with their own concerns anyhow)..so many of us are learning to appreciate wonderful small things like never before —and to anticipate more things we are grateful for…i personally learned a lot from having cancer and look forward to learning more from everywhere, often from this Mayo Clinic site.

Oh, dear woman. I am 82 and really do understand. I now have an ostomy bag on my tummy and a new hip, so am relearning how to walk without a limp. But I CAN walk and I CAN poop (albeit differently than I did 7 months ago), so I take joy in that. I absolutely know I am wiser, and I wear decent clothes and have my hair colored. If I stand far enough back from the mirror, I don’t look that bad! Please don’t take offense, but it is important to live a life of gratitude and not sadness about the things we can’t change. Grandma Moses started to paint in her 80’s (at least that is what I have read) and just look at Betty White, who made it to 99 loving all her animals! I guess all I am saying is that years ago when I was complaining to a massage therapist about needing to lose weight she said to me “Love yourself where you are.” I took it to heart. And now when I look at the wrinkles that I have earned and the little brown age spots all over my body, I am glad that I am still alive to see them and happy that things are not worse. Buckle up and join the club of wise elders. It is a happy place. Bette

@dederickve thank you for your honesty! My weight has stayed the same, I work out consistently, weights, walk/running, (though I will admit here that I am embarrassed how slow I walk/run and regret ever complaining about a 12 minute pace years ago) biking, and yet my body has changed and I don’t like it - or the marionette lines on my face. Yuck.

I do know self-acceptance is in order - lots of it - and lots of gratitude, also, that has been mentioned. Not liking parts of myself isn’t a nice thing to do to myself, is it?

What’s funny, is the post that re-started this chain is from 2020

I get right in their face. I am 91. Of course every single time I get "Oh, you don't look like 91." So back I come with "Well, how do you think 91 is supposed to look like." If they feel uncomfortable, so be it. I definitely realize how fortunate I am to be in such a good place at my age. I am able to live in my own home and take care of myself. I am also able to drive wherever and whenever I need to do so. But I also realize that the end is near. How much longer can I go on? We don't know. I just finished reading an article entitled "Superager Brains Defy Cognitive Decline. We Finally Know Their Secret."
What was my so-called secret? I was active. I became a race walker and did several miles each day after work, even though I worked full-time and took care of my family. I loved race walking and it was important to me. I never smoked and drank very little. In addition I didn't eat very much in the way of sweets. I have never liked the sweet taste. Did this help me to be the way I am at my age? In addition, I beat scarlet fever at a time (I was 10 years old) when there were no drugs. They put me in isolation and waited for me to die. So I didn't. I guess I am too stubborn. In the article it said that 5% of the population are like me. I had that same percentage told to me after I recovered from an anaphylactic reaction to taking lisinopril. I had to be in ICU for 3 days. After the allergist told me that 5% of the population reacts this way. Coincidence?