How do I deal with my husband? Transplant patient changed demeanor

It's an interesting coincidence, next night of my kidney transplant, I could not sleep & was miserable lying in the bed as BP was high, I could not bear " me lying on the bed" so I called the attending nurse and told her to walk with me, with all the connections still intact.
The walk made feel great and very +ve, I had pain a bit of light headed ness but "my mind was over the body" that night my wife the donor also slept in the same room they had an extra bed.... my wife was like "do what you want did you ask the Dr ?) I just smiled
Next day the surgeon made his normal round and said we are going to release you 1 day earlier ..you walked ..which is good sign.... He did say were you light headed, I said a bit..but I was super determined to walk ......but of course ...that's me .. it varies from person to person.
Good luck, ( my wife the donor .. in general we both have our own way of thinking but that's for the best outcome,

Thank you Sidney073. I needed to know a light still shines at the end of the tunnel.

I rarely read similar comments about this topic here. My spouse of over48 yrs received his kidney transplant over seven years ago. It's just us,no family near. As his healthy wife,grateful too, his mood swings and depression plus other side effects from immunosuppressive meds has me at my wits end to live with him. His personality is not the man I married anymore and he agrees. We've told his nephrologist s about we have no life,we exist. They give no suggestions to improve anything. We feel lied to about alot after the surgery. This journey is hell compated to his chemo treatments for lymphoma cancer. Years ago. He told doctors that was a picnic compared to no light at end of this transplant surgery
He refuses any counseling or support groups. I'm in my first in life depression and tried counseling over two years and felt it didn't help. I have a college degree with many courses in this subject. Often I feel like I'll lose my mind. I could write a book about all this. We both feel angry, numb, out of sorts. Friends, the few left, don't understand. The fatigue is incredible that he has daily. It took 14 months for his blood chemistry and more to get right,then covid arrived and we live isolated still . Wish transplant centers were blunt and honest before we went down this path for a kidney. I've done a lot of academic studies research global on this to ensure this occurs to others, it does.

@dotygl what rejection medicine do they have him on? I had a bad reaction/mood swings/bad feelings on tachalimuis and the switched me to cellcept and cyclosporine and both work better. I had liver and kidney

@jeffhuegel
Thanks for writing. It took the first 14 months after his surgery for the kidney to get his blood chemistry 'correct' and fix a rejection of the kidney. He's on Tac, Cellcept and Prednisone. He has been diabetic many years prior to this transplant and had it regulated very well on insulin once a day at night. Now it is very difficult to manage some days due to the how the meds interact with he glucose more than the foods (he is meticulous what he eats/weighs it first). His doctors are very hesitant to change anything in his meds due to the first 14 months were hell. I was giving him some kind of med (don't recall now) in injection form 3X a week for 8 months during then to make up for the kidney not making the hormone to tell the bone marrow to make more red blood cells. Finally his kidney started to make that hormone and the shots I was giving him ended. About that time the CMV virus got going. THe donated kidney functions ok after the first 14 months post surgery. Now the function numbers of the kidney GFR and Creatinine are not going in the right direction and doctors are looking into this. His quality of life this entire time of 7 plus years is low. From my global online academic research with vetted studies shows this also is more common the longer you take these needed drugs. I've done so much research on this topic my head spins. Thanks for asking. Sorry for being on and on about this. Some people do great, well, so-so, not so good taking these meds. Now the new issue he is dealing with is skin cancer requiring the Moh's removal technique soon. This is a first for him though he is rarely outside and if he is, wrapped like a mummy wearing Sun glasses. He just cannot win. Thanks for writing.

When I read your comment I knew how that felt. My spouse received his kidney transplant over 7 yrs ago and often his personality is not the man I married over 40 yrs ago anymore. He has so many negative side effects being on the immunosuppressant meds. He now gives me the silent treatment over petty things/illogical things. One time it was for 10 days long. I've never in our long marriage seen anything like it before. I feel stabbed in the heart it hurts so bad. He is anti counselor for him or me, so I keep seeking how to cope with a man I love, will support as the healthy wife, but I have my limits when his behavior makes no sense at all. Write me back how things are in frequency happen like this. I'm in my first in life depression living with a man I don't know but love and I blame not him but the damn medication side effects. I understand and hear you clearly. His doctors know this and have no suggestions to improve my spouse' quality of life being low.