1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Nov 17, 2022

@ellamster

A while back I posted this to a neighborhood website and got all sorts of flack.
I don’t understand why people don't enjoy the humor and let it go instead of getting off instead of tripping all over semantics.

When I see lovers initials carved into a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet,
I just think it's strange how many people bring a knife on a date.

Maybe it the lady/old lady was a typo. Somewhere along the line. To a young person 50 is an old lady.
Jake

REPLY
imallears | @imallears | Nov 18, 2022

@jakedduck1

I agree ….The “old women” or “older lady” went right over my head. I just thought the joke was funny. I remember the other joke you repeated and I burst out laughing at that one.

Posts are inundated with typos. You seem like the last person in the world to offend anybody. I wonder why no one ever said anything about your comments on my tastebuds and the vile concoctions I cook and eat? Or maybe they did.

Keep sending them please.

FL Mary

REPLY
EllAmster | @ellamster | Nov 18, 2022

Oh, I am not offended, it just was strange to read, it made it inconsistent and drew the attention to the woman's age instead of focusing on the joke 😊

REPLY
1 reply
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Nov 18, 2022
In reply to @ellamster "Oh, I am not offended, it just was strange to read, it made it inconsistent and..." + (show)
@ellamster

Oh, I am not offended, it just was strange to read, it made it inconsistent and drew the attention to the woman's age instead of focusing on the joke 😊

Jump to this post

@ellamster
I’m glad you weren’t offended and got a laugh out of it. Like @imallears I didn't notice the change either. I’m not a good proofreader. Did you hear any good jokes lately?
Jake

REPLY
1 reply
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Nov 18, 2022

@imallears
“I wonder why no one ever said anything about your comments on my tastebuds and the vile concoctions I cook and eat?“
Just a guess, but they probably got sick reading about the road kill you devour and weren't up to writing.
Jake

REPLY
1 reply
imallears | @imallears | Nov 19, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "@imallears “I wonder why no one ever said anything about your comments on my tastebuds and..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

@imallears
“I wonder why no one ever said anything about your comments on my tastebuds and the vile concoctions I cook and eat?“
Just a guess, but they probably got sick reading about the road kill you devour and weren't up to writing.
Jake

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1
There you are again Leonard…I thought you had been accosted and devoured by a mutant chocolate bar.

FL Mary🥸

REPLY
lyndac1027 | @lyndac1027 | Nov 20, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her birthday. But something shocking happened...." + (show)
@jakedduck1

A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her birthday. But something
shocking happened. A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 50th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice
luxurious hotel. The following morning, she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250.00. She requested
to know why the charge was too high. "It's a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have
breakfast," she told the clerk.
The clerk clarified that $250.00 is the standard rate. At that point, the older lady insisted on talking with
the manager.
The manager showed up and explained that the hotel
"has an Olympic-sized pool and

a huge conference center which are available for use.”

“But I didn’t use them,” the old woman said.

“Well, they are here, and you could have,” he replied.

The manager proceeded with that she could likewise have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.

“We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here,” he said.

“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said.

The manager replied, “Well, we have them, and you could have.”

Regardless of what facility he recommended, the older lady would just answer, “But I didn’t use it!”

The manager then countered with his standard reaction. After several minutes of contending with him, she chose to pay.

The manager was shocked when she gave the check to him. “But madam, this check is for only $50.00,” he said.

“That is right. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me,” the old lady replied.

“But I didn’t!” the manager shouted.

“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”

Jump to this post

Cute, but being 50 is not old! I'm 70 and I bet I could run rings around just about anyone!

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Nov 20, 2022

IT'S RIDDLE TIME
Share your score.
I'd share my score but I forgot it.
Epilepsy memory loss does come in handy at times like this.

1️⃣ If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many apples do you have?

A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 5

Answer 2

This is a riddle where you need to keep a close eye on the second-person pronoun. Although set up like a simple math problem (3 - 2 = 1), the riddle is saying “you” take away two apples and then asking how many apples “you” have.

2️⃣ What word is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary?

A. AConscientious
B. Fluorescent
C. Hygiene
D. Incorrectly

Answer incorrectly

"Conscientious," "fluorescent," and "hygiene" are definitely tricky to spell, but dictionaries usually have them right. That’s the dictionary’s job, after all. The only word they all spell “incorrectly” is "incorrectly."

3️⃣ What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a year?

A. True love
B. A second
C. The letter 'm'
D. Midnight

Answer The letter m

There's one "m" in "minute," two in "moment," and none in "a year," making the answer to this alphabetical riddle the letter "m."

4️⃣ What gets wetter the more it dries?

A. Your eyes
B. A towel
C. The desert
D. Hair

Answer a towel.

The more a towel dries you off, the more water it must absorb and the wetter it gets. This riddle relies on the multiple meanings of the word "dries," which is a technique many riddles employ to trick people trying to solve them.

5️⃣ I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What am I?

A. Your eyes
B. A towel
C. The desert
D. Hair

Answer seven

Seven is an odd number, and if you take away the letter "s," "seven" becomes "even."

6️⃣ How much dirt is in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide?

A. 36 cubic feet
B. None
C. 64 cubic feet
D. 12 cubic feet

Answer None

The point of a hole is that there is no dirt in it at all. If you dig a hole, you will have removed all the dirt from it. This one is kind of a trick question, but then again, so are most riddles.

7️⃣ David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and who?

A. Pop
B. Krispy
C. Son
D. David

Answer David

The people who have the three sons are David's parents, so David himself is the first son, and Snap and Crackle are the two others. The wording on this one can be a little tricky if you aren't paying attention from the very beginning, but that's what riddles are all about.

8️⃣ Say my name and I disappear. What am I?

A. A ghost
B. Rumpelstiltskin
C. Silence
D. A moth

Answer Silence

If you say the word "silence," you'll have broken the silence and it will disappear. Ghosts and moths don't have that ability, and though Rumpelstiltskin got mad when people said his name, he still stuck around.

9️⃣ Forward I’m heavy, but backward I’m not. What am I?

A. Elephant
B. Car
C. Ton
D. Bowling ball

Answer Ton

If read forward, a ton is something that weighs 2,000 pounds — that's pretty heavy. If you read it backward, "ton" spells "not," fulfilling the second, trickier part of this riddle.

🔟 What has 13 hearts but no other organs?

A. An octopus
B. A deck of cards
C. Cupid
D. An earthworm

Answer A deck of cards

A standard 52-card deck has four suits, including hearts, of which there are 13. Spades, clubs, and diamonds aren't other organs, so there's your answer. So far, science has not yet discovered any octopodes or earthworms that fit the bill (although both do have a lot of hearts).

Did anyone get them all right or perhaps all wrong?

Jake

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