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Finding Joy in the T
In the forum for cancer support, someone posted discussion, "What Gives You Joy?" If people dealing with cancer can find joy, so can we caregivers of someone who has dementia.
I would love to know what gives you joy, and I want to share what gave me joy this morning.
Before I tell you about this morning's moment of joy, I realize that taking care of someone with dementia can reduce us to a demented version of our former selves: It gets tiresome answering the same questions; scheduling doctor appointments; refilling medications; washing soiled laundry right after putting on fresh linen or clothings, etc., over and over again. This is especially true when the person for whom we are caring are verbally abusive or otherwise unpleasant.
It's Sunday, and I'm enjoying my cup of coffee and listening to KDFC.
For those who are Christians, I know you are making a "joyful noise."
And for those of you who are not Christians, try to be of good cheer:
"...oh the towering feeling
Just to know somehow [he/she is] near
The overpowering feeling
That any second [he/she] may suddenly appear." --Frederick Loewe (music) and Alan Jay Lerner
Find your "Sunday in the Park":
https://www.allmusicals.com/lyrics/sundayintheparkwithgeorge/sunday.htm
Blessings,
George's Wife
P.S. I found this forum because "Someone left the cake out in the rain" and "I [didn't] think that I [could] take it" "‘Cause it took so long to bake it." -- Richard Harris
Gone are the days when George physically kissed me--and "the world stood still"; but thanks to this forum (my imaginary "high and windy hill"), you fellow caregivers "touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing." Because of your inspiration, I am even more certain that:
"Love is nature's way of giving, a reason to be living
The golden crown that makes a man a king." -- Sammy Fain and Paul Francis Webster
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@georgescraftjr WOW! That is powerful, especially when sung by those two.
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1 Reaction@georgescraftjr "You Make Me Feel Brand New on Soul Train: I remember...so smooth and iconic, and so grateful for you and every caregiver out here, who cares when we just need that go-to friend. I learned yesterday in the car with my husband to just be grateful for the moment, and interestingly enough, I felt better. Dr. Natali from Careblazers says: "Some days the goal is simply, clean, fed, safe. Yes, we just try for more tomorrow. "Some days are white knuckle days - and that's okay." I'm reading her "Top Tips Dementia Caregivers Wish They Knew Sooner download: Keep one thing that's ours - exercise, art, lunch with a friend." I just spent "Sunday in the Park with George!" and just played "You make me feel brand new." Just what the doctor ordered! Best, Karla
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6 Reactions@georgescraftjr
Gerry Rafferty
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2 Reactions@georgescraftjr, Thank you for the memories - every one of those numbers bring back good memories and special places.
Although I cannot sing, couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, I tried. I would sing to my wife as I cared for her during our morning routine. I would kiss her on the lips at the appropriate line in the song - and she would smile - that smile made my day!
There's just one place for me, near you
It's like heaven to be near you
Times when we're apart, I can't face my heart
Say you'll never stray, more than just two lips away (kiss)
If my life could be spent near you, I'd be more than content near you
Make my life worthwhile, by telling me that I'll spend the rest of my days near you.
That last line was changed from the original, which was: "Make my dreams come true, by telling me that you'll spend the rest of your days near me.
Just posting this has me bawling like a baby.
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5 Reactions@fred1
Mary Chapin Carpenter
Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be. By John Lennon from Rabbi ben Ezra through Robert Browning
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3 ReactionsI seem to stand alone in this after browsing the replies, but tender love songs only remind me of what is lost.
Consequently when I’m alone in the car I just blast my favorite non-love songs.
Joy is a few moments to spend with grandkids and or on my hobbies (too numerous to list). Instead of mourning the loss of time for those activities I’m trying to train myself to live with a a smattering, like two rows of knitting or a few minutes of gardening and breathe deeply while doing those things. Maybe while listening to a little Otis Redding, Aretha or AC/DC.
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7 Reactions@georgescraftjr Ah, Jelly Roll, Madonna and George's Wife. Soulful and mesmerizing, "Tatoos on my pain, every scar's a sermon, you can't run from your grace, been sprinting through the dark for days." "Knee deep in mud, trying to carry the load....God we are trying to be okay." "Standing in the ruins of yesterday. If you still want me, I'll be okay. Faith is still calling. My brokenness is relieved." Yes, we'll be okay. Best, Karla
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4 Reactions@georgescraftjr Correction.......Ah, Jelly Roll, Lady Gaga, and George's wife! Read my earlier post.
Best, Karla
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1 ReactionThank you all for sharing and caring. This site has saved my sanity and given me the support I know that I need to keep on keepin' on. I truly believe that God will provide what I need when I need it.
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7 Reactions@shmerdloff
Thanks for sharing Gerry Rafferty. To you, Karla and others (too many to name):
I know how much I lean on you
Only you can see
The changes that I've been through
Have left a mark on me
You've been as constant as the Northern Star
The brightest light that shines
It's been you, woman[/man/brother/sister]
Right down the line
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3 Reactions