Finding Joy in the T

Sorry about the truncated title and other errors. I accidentally hit "Post Comment" before I finished editing my post. (I can't count the number of times I was interrupted while I was trying to write this post. I even accidentally closed the page while I was typing, and had to reconstruct my post in its entirety!)

What gives me Joy? Your posts. You say, "gone are the days when George physically kissed me." We kiss you. Every care giver on this site kisses you. Enough said.
Sending Love, Karla

Wow, do I love all the song lyric references! 💖Thank you so much! - a fellow music lover!

Thank the Lord there are still so many blessings in my life to bring me joy amidst the challenges of caring for my husband with dementia.
Things that bring me joy: my accomplished and caring children, my beautiful grandchildren, the baby animals on my farm this spring (my mare had a filly in May and she is the sweetest-I am obsessed with her!), the orchard and garden, my flowers, the bees, the birds that visit every day, especially the hummingbirds! I live on 16 acres with incredible views of the forest and creek and the sunsets and sunrises are amazing and bring me joy and make me feel closer to my loved ones who have passed and to God. A friend coming to visit, a glass of wine on the deck in the evening, my first cup of coffee in the morning before he gets up, my sassy cat who is so tiny but has a big personality and brings me a dead lizard as a gift most days, lol.
Music has always been something that brings me joy in the past, but oddly now it pulls on my heartstrings in a painful way, too often reminding me of good times with my my husband which then reminds me of how “NOT good” the times are now, so music has been something I am slowly working my way back to. I do miss it. Sharing and learning from all of you, my virtual caregiving support friends is a joy and a blessing in my life too!

Thanks for sharing vignettes of your beautiful life, and for spreading the joy.

When my husband laments about not being able to do what he once was able to do, I tell him not to compare today with the past. I tell him to be grateful that he had a past that he loved. I also tell him to focus on what he still can do, and not to waste energy moaning about what he can't do.

I try not to think of life in terms of whether life is good or "NOT good." Realizing that my George is getting weaker and weaker by the day, I know that I need to make each day the "best" day.

P.S. Glad that you are listening to music again. I love melancholy music. Give me the minor key! Slow tempo.

Sad songs and melodies tug at my heart, connect me with cosmic pain, and make me feel alive. I even love corny, sad songs. It makes me smile to picure a cake sitting in the rain, with "sweet green icing flowing down."

@kjc48

Karla,

I love your morning kisses. I never wash off the lipstick mark you leave! I go around my day with it on my face as a reminder of you.

Love,
George's Wife

Chills. Thank you.
Every time I hear a newborn baby cry, or touch a leaf, or see the sky, then I know why......

Lovely Day by Bill Withers is my favorite song, ever:

When I wake up in the morning, Love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And something without warning, Love
Bears heavy on my mind

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day...

When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
And when someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day...

This song used to make me think of my DH, but now I think of my grandkids when I hear it. Here's hoping you have a lovely day.

@shmerdloff

"Tell me why the stars do shine.
Tell me why the ivy twines
Tell me why the sky's so blue
And I will tell you just why I love you."

Thank you for reminding me of my all-time favorite: the song I always hum to stop the chatter ("Where's God?" "Why this?" Yada yada.). It's also the song that I hum when I'm sad, or when I'm walking on the beach.

And thank you, my fellow caregivers, who provide a daily reminder that, together:

"When [we] walk through a storm
[We] [can h]old ... [our] head[s] up high
And [we] don't [have to] be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of the lark

[Together, we can] [w]alk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though []our dreams be tossed and blown

[Together, we can] [w]alk on walk on with hope in []our heart[s]
And [we]'ll never walk alone
[We]'ll never walk alone

Be well, my friends.

George's Wife

@georgescraftjr
Oh! Don't get me started:
Left standing in the lurch in a church with people saying "My God that's tough. She stood him up. No point in us remaining. We may as well go home. As I did on my own. Alone again. Naturally."
At 65 years old. My mother God rest her soul. Couldn't understand why the only man she had ever loved had been taken. Leaving her to doubt all about God and his mercy. For if He really does exist, why did He desert me? And in my hour of need, I truly am indeed-Alone again-
naturally.

And Albinioni's Adagio. Which he didn't write. And The Pav singing "Caruso."