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Do you feel hurt?

Posted by lost55 @lost55, 6 days ago

Hi
New here. Been dealing with my wife’s
Dementia, starting about 4or 5 years ago. You just know when things are no longer right. We now have the diagnosis and all the meds but although they help, I know they won’t arrest this terrible disease. My wife’s mother and her mother’s 4 sisters all passed with Alzheimer’s. Been married 55 years and just sometimes feel so tired and down. We are in the stage where paranoia or delusions can pop up at any time.
For me the depression takes hold when my wife accuses me of taking her things tweezers, face stuff, hairbrushes ( don’t have any to speak of) One minute she is cognizant, and fully comprehending and then she looks for something she has misplaced and the twilight zone begins.
I know I need to take the accusations and paranoia as part of the process but wonder if anyone else feels hurt when this happens. One hour I’m just the best the next hour just the opposite.
How to deal with this insanity?
B

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dederickve | @dederickve | 1 day ago
In reply to @kjc48 "@dederickve Actually, having the process, relaxes me more than trying to find everything he has lost...." + (show)
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@dederickve Actually, having the process, relaxes me more than trying to find everything he has lost. I remember, that knapsack, that he took out of the car at the hotel, put it on the ground, never knew, and of course, we couldn't find it later. What are the odds that backpack would still be sitting out there in the dark, with people going in and out of the driveways. We were lucky we found it because at that time, he was hoarding all the checkbooks and everything else confidential in there. Thanks for your note back. I feel for you too and every caregiver going through what we're dealing with. Best, Karla

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@kjc48 Thanks for your private message.

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kjc48 | @kjc48 | 7 hours ago

We deal with the insanity of the disease by ........ we adapt. adapt. adapt. UCHealth.org has an article out about dementia resources: how to communicate and have meaningful connections with some with dementia. The adapt. adapt. adapt. is highlighted in this piece. Put together a duplicate bag of the things your wife keeps losing and when she gets "frantic" provide her with what you have. Hopefully, that will calm her until you can find her original belongings OR set up a box marked with her name that she puts everything in. And put a pretty photo of her on the box or something meaningful to her so she knows it's hers. That's what we're doing here at my house right now (I have the 900 pound tuna he got at Cape Cod on his box!
I'm sure you've already thought of this! Best, Karla

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lost55 | @lost55 | 5 hours ago
In reply to @kjc48 "We deal with the insanity of the disease by ........ we adapt. adapt. adapt. UCHealth.org has..." + (show)
Profile picture for kjc48 @kjc48

We deal with the insanity of the disease by ........ we adapt. adapt. adapt. UCHealth.org has an article out about dementia resources: how to communicate and have meaningful connections with some with dementia. The adapt. adapt. adapt. is highlighted in this piece. Put together a duplicate bag of the things your wife keeps losing and when she gets "frantic" provide her with what you have. Hopefully, that will calm her until you can find her original belongings OR set up a box marked with her name that she puts everything in. And put a pretty photo of her on the box or something meaningful to her so she knows it's hers. That's what we're doing here at my house right now (I have the 900 pound tuna he got at Cape Cod on his box!
I'm sure you've already thought of this! Best, Karla

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@kjc48
Thank you for the insights
I like most all dementia caregivers appreciate all the help we can get
B

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