~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

Posted by .harp player @amberpep, Feb 26, 2019

I’m 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I’m just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don’t have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there’s not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there’s enough), and my son sends me money each month. I’m sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I’m thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I’d have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they’re all on line now), and legally they’re not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college …. well, it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I’m so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

@david33

Amanda Burnett, Connect Moderator @amandaburnett, lolaemma @lolaemma

Yes, I talked to an attorney and they told me I can't do anything since I was hired by the temp agency. I'm also going through therapy for my anxiety and depression. I'm not giving up on getting my book published, it's only hard when I have publishers, family and friends repete almost the same thing.

I did however found a publisher who left me know that my book is good but my characters are not realistic…how much realistic must they be? They won't answer that question, so now I have to find someone to help me with this area of my book.

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@david33 never sure when I dropped into the
Conversation. Hope I'm on the right track. Did you reveal your health issues with the temp agency when you signed up?.It's the temp agency 's responsibility to pass that information on. Did you talk to a disability lawyer? Not every lawyer handles every kind of case. Just saying.

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@becsbuddy

@amberpep It is so hard for you, isn’t it? You remember all the best times and good things and your friends from your old home. You moved because your daughters wanted you to
but, now they’re too busy or whatever. Have you thought of moving back to Maryland? Maybe after Covid. Just to think about……..

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@becsbuddy, Dear Becky, my heart just aches for you. You are such a spirit lifter for the rest of us that it is just a cryin' shame that you are feeling blue at the moment.

I first teased my daughter & family when they lived in Evanston, IL about a teensy house for the bkyd. Got a good laugh because their yard was no larger than a postage stamp. Much more yd space in the new Boulder yard but have yet to mention a "grammer spot".

I'd long thought that when I sold this home of nearly 50 yrs, I wanted to just make "one more move" and that into a sr. living estbl. that would provide additinal care as needed. With the Covid-19 outbreak, that now has me back at the drawing board to consider other options. Stay in place here as long as possible with home aid when it becomes needed; maybe a rental duplex or small garden home…who knows.

I know you to be a very enterprising and motivated person…who else but You started our wonderful walking cizer clan??? And have kept us going (thankfully!) beyond the suggested 12 week program????? In my book you are the "cat's meow" and deserve to be purring not feeling uncertain about your current situation or next steps. Not a bit of "pity party" coming to me from your post. More just disappointed and searching for the next options available. Sending you my very best wishes that once your initial disappointment with children passes a bit, you'll start putting your great brain to work on finding a solution that suits you better.

Now if you want pointers on how to do a pity party Texas style….just ask…very gentle hugs and smiles cybering your way.

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@david33

I was fired from my job due too many doctor excuses, before I was hired I explained to my boss of the health issues I was having. They claimed they understood and that they would work with me. So after 5 or more going to the doctors to find out why I wanted to pass out (I didn't want to pass out at work, because I didn't want my face to lay on a hot plate I had to use to put numbers on football / cheerleaders uniforms ext,.) Now after neck surgery I thought my passing out will pass, but it hasn't. Now I have to see a neuro doctor to see why when I turn my neck to the left I get dizzy and lightheaded and my head feels like I got a lot of fog inside to where I can't think at all, and I have to concentrate really hard to remember what I'm doing.
So, in order to by-pass this feeling I keep my head still and looking straight and turn my whole body to the left so I don't have that problem. Looking to the right is fine. I brought this issue up to the doctor who did my neck surgery but he doesn't want to see me anymore, and now I wish I had never went through neck surgery because the main issue I was having went away, but came back in 2 weeks with a lot more issues involved.

Has anyone else gone through neck surgery, if so was your issue fixed or has it gotten worse?

With all this, I have no job, and no money coming to help support my family and I'm feeling very low about myself. I am trying to get my books published but I don't even know if I can do that right. I have family and friends tell me not to waste my time on something that no one wants to read especially with my name on it.

So, with all this I don't know how I'm even coping with all the worry I have about my health and money issues.

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@david33, Laura, It sounds like you are having a really hard time right now with your loss of job and neck problems. I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this but what stands out in reading your post is how you have found a way to compensate and work around the neck issues by turning your body and looking straight ahead.

I've not had neck surgery so cannot respond to what you are dealing with but I do know that once a surgeon has completed the surgery, he/she often feels the job is done and "releases" the patient to other doctors. So am really hoping that you get to a good neurologist who can prescribe treatments that will help heal and relieve that dizziness you describe.

It is impresive that you are authoring a book! What is the subject? What led you to decide to write on this specific topic or genre?
Hope you'll share more about yourself and situation. You have compassionate members here who are pulling for you.

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@amberpep

Yes, I'm definitely better, but typical of Bipolar 2, it's up and down, up and down. The up's aren't very "up" just probably ore normal. I'm looking forward to moving, but it won't be for one or two years. It's in a town about 7 miles from here in a senior setup. They're small single story houses attached by a breezeway. I've adjusted to living here about as much as I think I will ….. still, if someone said they'd pay for me to go back I'd be right on it. But, it's not to be, so here I am.
abby

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Regarding Bipolar: What is your intake of artificial sweeteners?

There is a very close correlation to the rise of artificial sweeteners and incidence bipolar. If you study how the artificial sweeteners break down in the body, it is not surprise they cause problems. So, if you are drinking and eating artificially sweetened products, you may be acerbating the problem.

I gave up most sweeteners (natural and artificial). I feel much better with no energy swings.

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@amberpep

Hi parus …. yes, my daughters are aware…. one gives me money out of their tithe to their church each month, and my son, who lives in Alexandria, VA pitches in a good bit more. Frankly, I'm ready to go back …. but to what? No condo, no job ……

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AARP has a senior job list. Also there are other places that have senior job assist. Is there an Agency on the Aged where you live now? Do a job search online. Just don't fall for any that want you to send money. I understand how easy it is to make a decision by following your heart and not your mind. If you are able there are classes in public school systems for seniors. Depression lies it blocks your mind until you give up. Stay strong.

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@lolaemma

AARP has a senior job list. Also there are other places that have senior job assist. Is there an Agency on the Aged where you live now? Do a job search online. Just don't fall for any that want you to send money. I understand how easy it is to make a decision by following your heart and not your mind. If you are able there are classes in public school systems for seniors. Depression lies it blocks your mind until you give up. Stay strong.

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Keep going god first then you sing,dance study even of u dance with the broom n u will make it cuz ur special n I love god bless iam depressed but I start hearing music n think about my children,God, smile keep going
Mco

Liked by fiesty76

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