Anhedonia after drinking alcohol

I am sorry to rant but I am tired of feeling no pleasure and no emotions . I feel used and abused when I have sex because it feels so uncomfortable and un pleasurable . I didn’t have a high sex drive when I was younger but I did enjoy sex and feel pleasure from being with my boyfriend . I have lost all that and my feelings of love for him . I just want my pleasure back

I have also had some traumatic experiences with men where they took advantage of me when I was unconscious and asleep . Because of this I associate sex with being exploited and bullied . I am so bitter that these men have taken away my enjoyment of life and sex as a punishment for me being assaulted

I also feel no emotion and no feelings of love for my grandparents or for my parents or for my ex boyfriend . I didn’t even care that he broke up with me . I feel no love for anyone no feelings of warmth or affection for anyone . If my grandparents died tomorrow I wouldn’t care as I have lost all my feelings towards them

Stop drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and a big part of the hangover for me was always that sense of dread and inability to feel. I wonder if you have a problem with alcohol-if not just stop drinking it. If you can't stop it, please get some help. AA worked for me. Good luck to you.

@emu567, dealing with a total lack of feelings is hard. But you've taken the first step in recognizing it and wanting it to change. Given both your wishing to do something and your past traumas, I encourage you to seek professional counselling.

I'm tagging fellow members like @jimhd @harryp252 @januaryjane @marjou and others who understand. You can see some of their past sharing in this related discussion:
– Incredibly lonely, shutting down: Suffering with Anhedonia https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/incredibly-lonely-shutting-down/

Do you have a therapist?

@emu567 I know from unfortunate experience that dealing with horrible experiences isn't easy, and takes time. I've been working with therapists for a number of years. When I asked one therapist how long I'd be dealing with PTSD, I didn't like his answer. The rest of my life!!? I didn't want to believe it. I've learned that it affects us in unexpected ways, every person being different.

My own recovery is made possible by having some good therapists, a loving wife (51 years), my faith in God, and my service dog. The memories still surface and my depression and anxiety spike in spite of my attempts to use the coping skills I've learned to depend on.

Sometimes we have to set aside things we think are necessary to our happiness and focus on other things – our own mental health, healthy companions, our personal wishes and goals.

I have to stop here. Let us know how things are going.

Jim