Anhedonia after drinking alcohol

I am sorry to rant but I am tired of feeling no pleasure and no emotions . I feel used and abused when I have sex because it feels so uncomfortable and un pleasurable . I didn’t have a high sex drive when I was younger but I did enjoy sex and feel pleasure from being with my boyfriend . I have lost all that and my feelings of love for him . I just want my pleasure back

I have also had some traumatic experiences with men where they took advantage of me when I was unconscious and asleep . Because of this I associate sex with being exploited and bullied . I am so bitter that these men have taken away my enjoyment of life and sex as a punishment for me being assaulted

I also feel no emotion and no feelings of love for my grandparents or for my parents or for my ex boyfriend . I didn’t even care that he broke up with me . I feel no love for anyone no feelings of warmth or affection for anyone . If my grandparents died tomorrow I wouldn’t care as I have lost all my feelings towards them

Stop drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and a big part of the hangover for me was always that sense of dread and inability to feel. I wonder if you have a problem with alcohol-if not just stop drinking it. If you can't stop it, please get some help. AA worked for me. Good luck to you.

@emu567, dealing with a total lack of feelings is hard. But you've taken the first step in recognizing it and wanting it to change. Given both your wishing to do something and your past traumas, I encourage you to seek professional counselling.

I'm tagging fellow members like @jimhd @harryp252 @januaryjane @marjou and others who understand. You can see some of their past sharing in this related discussion:
- Incredibly lonely, shutting down: Suffering with Anhedonia https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/incredibly-lonely-shutting-down/

Do you have a therapist?

@emu567 I know from unfortunate experience that dealing with horrible experiences isn't easy, and takes time. I've been working with therapists for a number of years. When I asked one therapist how long I'd be dealing with PTSD, I didn't like his answer. The rest of my life!!? I didn't want to believe it. I've learned that it affects us in unexpected ways, every person being different.

My own recovery is made possible by having some good therapists, a loving wife (51 years), my faith in God, and my service dog. The memories still surface and my depression and anxiety spike in spite of my attempts to use the coping skills I've learned to depend on.

Sometimes we have to set aside things we think are necessary to our happiness and focus on other things - our own mental health, healthy companions, our personal wishes and goals.

I have to stop here. Let us know how things are going.

Jim

I will definitely be 'following' this. I have been married for many yrs., also suffer from PTSD, anxiety and depression....I try to focus on the good things.....the blessings.....but it is very hard. Sometimes you just want to hibernate, but that isn't good, either. I know I need a therapist to 'get things out'....but something keeps me from doing it. So many think I'm happy-go-lucky....so I guess I can hide a lot of things. I get tired of feeling like I have to do that. I know I need some kind of support.....I have none, just myself. My husband does not understand....he just doesn't 'get it'. Oh well. I have a new Dr. appt. coming up, maybe he can suggest a therapist. A death about a yr. ago threw me into a horrible depression, friends suggest I try a 'little whiskey' (ugh)... to sleep..I've drank it daily every day since then. BIG mistake. Oh, I'm never drunk...I get all my work done, etc., but still....I've become dependent. I'm down to 3 shots....trying to get to 0. Alcohol definitely is NOT the answer! It went from calming me to just the opposite.....more depression & anxiety. Maybe that's good? It's making me cut it out of my life. I need 'like-minded' people around me....not drinkers. I want to be healthy....well it's after 1:00 a.m., and I've talked too much. This is a wonderful site....I actually deactivated my Facebook Account for maybe a month....I needed a break from it. But this site? It can actually help me, give me hope. Thank you so much. 🙂

Hi @monica1234, I hear the hope and healing in your post. Just wanted to drop in and offer virtual encouragement on your path to getting a therapist and continuing to love yourself.

Hi Colleen....thank you so much. < 3 No matter our ages, we all go through problems.....to the point of being devastated. I've been there and my heart goes out to anyone....and everyone else who has also been there. I have a lot of faith, though....oh, I'm not going to church....but I DO have faith that things will get better! I have looked online & also in my trusty ole phonebook lol...and looked for therapists. I think I will wait for my first appt. with a new Dr., in January....and ask him for (hopefully) a referral. Maybe grief support...I don't know which. There has been so many family problems....even a death that threw me into total depression....and so far, I have muddled along. But there ARE good days .....and I know there will be more. The phrase you mentioned...'continuing to love yourself' says so much!! Sometimes we don't do that....even think we are 'weak'. I had a Dr. (the one who retired, just loved her) that once said to me, " You're too fragile"....she was referring to my mental state....that I needed to develop a thicker skin, to speak up....but sometimes, with close family members, you DON'T speak up....she told me, "It's abuse, family or not." I tried to handle it....it did a lot of damage. But like I said, things WILL get better....they have to!! Thank you and you take care now, be happy and stay safe. It's wonderful to have people like you on this site....it's a comfort and you give us hope. 🙂

Hi @monica1234 . Is your appointment with the new doctor coming up soon? Because of my lousy memory, I try to make notes about what I want to talk about with the doctor. Sometimes I still miss things.

When I go with my wife to an appointment, I often hear her saying things that make it sound like she's doing much better than I know she is, and I speak up. I don't know if you and she are alike in that, but I hope you'll be honest about how you really feel. Otherwise our doctors don't know how they can do what needs to be done, and it slows the treatment schedule down. Don't be shy about letting them know what's actually happening in your life.

I'll be interested to hear how it goes.

Jim