New to living with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI)

Thank you to all that have enquired after me. Yesterday I noticed the “ view more “ box, I was thinking that no one was writing anymore, I should have known. I called the referred Dr’s office weeks ago and was told they do so many referrals a month, guess it hasn’t been my month yet. Now with COVID 19 all appointments we had have been postponed. My memory problems continue, my husband keeps telling me “ you don’t listen to me” trouble is he talks so much, I have a hard time filtering out what I really need to listen to. I have to laugh sometimes at the things I do. I made a meal for a man who’s wife had died and called to ask what time he would like me to bring it. I didn’t hear from him so just took it when it was ready. A few weeks later I was listening to my messages on my cell phone and found the message for the man. Apparently I called from our home phone and left the message on my cell phone, no wonder he didn’t answer. 😬 our house goes on the market in 11 days, we’ve been unable to find a place in NY, complicated by having 2 cats and a dog. Also trying to get our daughter set up with a day program to attend. Some days are better than others.

Hi, @emyliander - so sorry to hear it hasn't been your month yet regarding the referral.

What is your sense of what/how much your husband understands the symptoms you are experiencing at this time with memory, etc.?

I don’t think he understands at all and I haven’t wanted to push the issue , right now we have so many stresses that take up our time trying to get the house ready for sale, we took our daughter out of her program due to COVID 19, our married sons all have their own stressors due to the virus and work, just like everyone else. At least I don’t have to remember all our Dr. Appointments right now.

I don’t think he understands at all and I haven’t wanted to push the issue , right now we have so many stresses that take up our time trying to get the house ready for sale, we took our daughter out of her program due to COVID 19, our married sons all have their own stressors due to the virus and work, just like everyone else. At least I don’t have to remember all our Dr. Appointments right now.

Good afternoon, @emylander, We have met before. In fact, I think we are walking along the same path right now. You are selling your home and moving, I did that last year. You are coping with a special needs child and I have a granddaughter with severe OCD. We are both challenged every day by "too many inputs". In the early PC days that would happen when the memory got overloaded and the result was bad "output".

Since we share quite a few cognitive memory issues, @lisalucier asked if I might offer some suggestions. And so, I read your story and your posts again. I especially remember the gift of food for your friend. I would do something like that except that I don't cook.

When I moved here last year, I had just spent 8 weeks as a caregiver for my partner's cancer treatments. My house sold surprisingly in one week and my friends got together and handled all of the details. We face-timed to pack up the kitchen. It was all I could do to nod yes or no. So. 96 items on the truck and 96 items off. I think there are still quite a few unopened on the porch.

I am going to pretend that you are sitting right here with me. Here is what I would suggest that you consider:

1. Sit down with an expert clinician and go over all of your medications with dosages and their potential interactions for both Rx and OTC . My body learned to handle gabapentin but did not like the combination of Nortryptilene and Deloxitine.
2. Get a written diagnosis of MCI so that your insurance will support outside care through Social Services, plus relationship and structured living cognitive behavior therapy that hopefully can include your husband.
3. Get structure and organization into your daily life. Use whatever works. I was doing pretty well and then in one week, I missed two appointments, one with my spiritual guru and the other with the lady for whom I am a caregiver. That was just because I didn't know what day it was. Now I have a paper calendar (see attached) and I mark off each day in the morning after checking for appointments.
4. Begin your day with Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness, before the pace ramps up and anxiety takes over. This practice or routine that I do every morning focuses on the body, the spirit, and the mind. We want them all in sync, right?
5. Include your husband in decision making discussion. We call that "Shared Decision Making". Maybe your husband would be more responsive if he was invested in the outcome. Just giving each other a chance to have input without judgment or being judged has a great carryover effect.

Enough for today my dear. I have enjoyed hanging out with you. Please let me know when you stumble and please send me a "star" when you succeed. Don't forget...step by step....it took a long time to get here. I am holed up here for you pretty much every day ....aren't we all?
And thank you for bringing her back, @lisalucier.
Chris

You have a lot going on right now, @emyliander. Yes, phew - no appointments to remember right now.

For when you don't have quite so much on your mind related to COVID-19 and all, I'm thinking perhaps @rachelanne @debbraw @suz55 @helenfrances may have some suggestions on how to help your husband understand what is happening with your memory this year and also support you in it.

What are some of the stresses you are encountering with your home sale, emyliander?

@melodyjane - how are you doing? Have you had any memory difficulties lately?

@sarasally2 - in the conversations you referred to, is it your husband or more than one member of the family who is having challenges with memory right now?

Good afternoon, @emylander, We have met before. In fact, I think we are walking along the same path right now. You are selling your home and moving, I did that last year. You are coping with a special needs child and I have a granddaughter with severe OCD. We are both challenged every day by "too many inputs". In the early PC days that would happen when the memory got overloaded and the result was bad "output".

Since we share quite a few cognitive memory issues, @lisalucier asked if I might offer some suggestions. And so, I read your story and your posts again. I especially remember the gift of food for your friend. I would do something like that except that I don't cook.

When I moved here last year, I had just spent 8 weeks as a caregiver for my partner's cancer treatments. My house sold surprisingly in one week and my friends got together and handled all of the details. We face-timed to pack up the kitchen. It was all I could do to nod yes or no. So. 96 items on the truck and 96 items off. I think there are still quite a few unopened on the porch.

I am going to pretend that you are sitting right here with me. Here is what I would suggest that you consider:

1. Sit down with an expert clinician and go over all of your medications with dosages and their potential interactions for both Rx and OTC . My body learned to handle gabapentin but did not like the combination of Nortryptilene and Deloxitine.
2. Get a written diagnosis of MCI so that your insurance will support outside care through Social Services, plus relationship and structured living cognitive behavior therapy that hopefully can include your husband.
3. Get structure and organization into your daily life. Use whatever works. I was doing pretty well and then in one week, I missed two appointments, one with my spiritual guru and the other with the lady for whom I am a caregiver. That was just because I didn't know what day it was. Now I have a paper calendar (see attached) and I mark off each day in the morning after checking for appointments.
4. Begin your day with Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness, before the pace ramps up and anxiety takes over. This practice or routine that I do every morning focuses on the body, the spirit, and the mind. We want them all in sync, right?
5. Include your husband in decision making discussion. We call that "Shared Decision Making". Maybe your husband would be more responsive if he was invested in the outcome. Just giving each other a chance to have input without judgment or being judged has a great carryover effect.

Enough for today my dear. I have enjoyed hanging out with you. Please let me know when you stumble and please send me a "star" when you succeed. Don't forget...step by step....it took a long time to get here. I am holed up here for you pretty much every day ....aren't we all?
And thank you for bringing her back, @lisalucier.
Chris

I don’t think he understands at all and I haven’t wanted to push the issue , right now we have so many stresses that take up our time trying to get the house ready for sale, we took our daughter out of her program due to COVID 19, our married sons all have their own stressors due to the virus and work, just like everyone else. At least I don’t have to remember all our Dr. Appointments right now.

Wonderful advice that will help so many . God bless

Hi Chris, thank you for your thoughtful message. I had just about finished a message to you when my iPad said “emergency iPad too hot “ and turned itself off. So I put it in the refrigerator for a little while to cool it down. I had been sitting with it on my lap with the sun shinning through the window onto my pad. First time that’s happened. So I’ll start again.. I’m trying to meet with a clinician but it’s a long process and now everything is cancelled because of the COVID 19. I will take my meds and get a diagnosis if I can get in there before we move. Structure in my life is nonexistent at the moment, each room has been torn apart to redecorate and to pack some things away. We still have quite a bit to do, outside also. I do have a calendar on my refrigerator and on my phone, I don’t always remember to check it. I get up at 6am each morning, an hour before my daughter gets up and then my husband. I enjoy the quiet time to have my tea and read the news on my tablet. I even try not to wake the cats and dog up. One of my cats is demanding as soon as he wakes up. I also have a daily bible reading I do.
It would be good for my husband to learn something about MCI, we do usually include each other in decision making, but I tend to keep my thoughts to myself, while he tells me so much about everything it boggles my mind. You say he “may be more invested in the outcome “. I don’t think either of us know the outcome or how to achieve it. When you say “ step by step “ it reminds me of a very funny old movie called “Baby steps.”
Have a good day, 🍷 here’s to our memories.