Caring for my husband with late-stage lung cancer

Yes....so glad for FaceTime......andrew enjoys seeing the children every day.

I'm sure you do need sleep, @turtle115. Is there anyone you can hire to stay with Andrew for the night so that you could sleep through the night?

As tired as I am I know myself and I wouldn't sleep well not being here. I know, the caretaker has to take care of herself. But I have to do what I have to do. Thanks for the suggestion.

@turtle115- I agree, you have to do what you have to do. I think that we are just hoping to protect you from becoming ill. I hope that you slept some last night.

You are right, @turtle115, I am concerned for your well being. It would be sad if you were to become ill in this process of his transitioning from this life to the next.

Having said that, however, it is important at this time in Andrew's life to be true to yourself and to the relationship you have built with your dear husband. You must carry on in the way that gives you the most peace.

@turtle115- Hi. How was your night? I know that this is not the right time to ask how you are but is there anything that you need that Connect can help with? Any information that you need or a confusion?

No, I am fine. Just never thought dying would take so long. Now that we are confined because of the virus it seem I just sit here watching......at times I think the way he is looking, acting, reaching And Breathing I am sure he will pass. But this has been days and it is exhausting for both of us. I go through moments of tears.....other than morphine, pain pill, and something for agitation he has only had sips of water and applesauce. He doesn't want anything and I am told this is normal. I think I mentioned we live in an assisted living and I finally have them changing him......he was able to use the urinal up until three days ago....now I just sit, watch and pray.

@turtle115 I was just thinking about you today and wondering how you both are . It sounds like it wont be much longer then you both will be at peace . Do you have other people there to talk to in the assistant living place? Can you leave and get a cup of tea ? I know you dont want to leave him but it would be good for you to see some other scenery . May God hold you both in his arms Thoughts and prayers for you both

@turtle115- As I watched my mother die I learned that death wasn't an event but a process. It can take a while for a body to slowly shut down. This is also a time for you to prepare for your inevitable loss. I know that you have been mourning him but now it's different. Here are some signs that might help you
https://www.crossroadshospice.com/hospice-caregiver-support/end-of-life-signs/
I found it a time that I faced my fears of dying. It didn't resolve until much later, but for me, it was a bit of a break-through. I spent the time sitting on my mom's bed and holding her hand. I talked to her and told her things that I probably never would have if she were cognizant. We had a rocky road together as mother and daughter. I made sure that her lips were moistened and I used a spongie type thing to keep her mouth a bit moist. I wanted to keep her comfortable and know that she was loved and well taken care of.
My moods were all over the place too and I just went with it.
It's exhausting and sad and also very special. I have found it an honor to be with someone when they die.

@merpreb The transitional time of a person is indeed a period where those who caregive are so needed. As a family member, be it spouse or child, it is an honor to assist that person, even if they may not appear to be aware. Hearing is the last sense to quiet, so comforting words or music often quiets the stress. I know for both of my parents, they each waited until I wasn't looking [literally] before they took their last earthly breath.
We each have a wide spectrum of moods and emotions as we go through this, just like the patient does. And conversations can run the gamut.
@turtle115 My wish is for peace for both of you.
Ginger