Caring for my husband with late-stage lung cancer

Posted by turtle115 @turtle115, Mar 25, 2020

My first time here. My husband has lung cancer that has spread to liver, stomach and pelvis. Originally showed spot on lungs and liver August 2019. He is now 78 and has been a stroke survivor for 20 years...aphasia, walked with cane, no use of right arm. We decided not to proceed with cancer Treatments. But after Christmas things took a turn for the worse....he can stand but Can only move a little to the wheelchair bed or chair. We had CT in January which showed lung cancer, liver, stomach and pelvis. He is DNR so we wait. He is home and Hospice comes here twice a week. He has had a sore on his chin for over a month and recently, about the size of a dime, on the back of his head. He is not a complainer..... he is coughing up thick, white phlegm a lot now. He also has many tumors on his back...more every day, not open soreS but I see And feel them and some getting larger. Any one have thoughts that the sore on his head and face that maybe it has spread to the brain? How long can one survive like this? He is ready mentally and spiritually to leave this earth.....it is the waiting and watching him lose weight that is so hard. Any thoughts, help or prayers will be appreciated.

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@jobli0

I am hesitant to raise this issue because I am the one with cancer and I am the one who learned about and have chosen VSED. I don't know if anyone would be comfortable suggesting VSED to the patient. VSED stands for Voluntstily Stop Eating and Drinking. It speeds up the. dying process considerably and may be harder for the care givers to observe than for the patient. I suggest you google VSED and see if it might be appropriate for you. I chose hospice and palliative care only. I am currently not ready for VSED at this time, personally; I am in no pain and I am using my given time to write memories anfd do genealogy. Peace and love for everyone at this trying time.

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Thank you for your information on VSED. I have never heard of that. My husband does not eat much but he does eat some. He drinks coffee all day. I don't think he is ready for that. But refusing to use the bipap machine, his co2 levels will just continue to build and he will end up in the hospital again. It has only been 3 months since he was last in the hospital. But he says he is OK with that. I don't argue with him because at this point, quality is better than quantity. Good luck and God bless you.

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@jobli0

I am hesitant to raise this issue because I am the one with cancer and I am the one who learned about and have chosen VSED. I don't know if anyone would be comfortable suggesting VSED to the patient. VSED stands for Voluntstily Stop Eating and Drinking. It speeds up the. dying process considerably and may be harder for the care givers to observe than for the patient. I suggest you google VSED and see if it might be appropriate for you. I chose hospice and palliative care only. I am currently not ready for VSED at this time, personally; I am in no pain and I am using my given time to write memories anfd do genealogy. Peace and love for everyone at this trying time.

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There are many options and this one is the right one for you then. I pray that I can choose as much grace as you have when it's time for me.

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@jobli0

I am hesitant to raise this issue because I am the one with cancer and I am the one who learned about and have chosen VSED. I don't know if anyone would be comfortable suggesting VSED to the patient. VSED stands for Voluntstily Stop Eating and Drinking. It speeds up the. dying process considerably and may be harder for the care givers to observe than for the patient. I suggest you google VSED and see if it might be appropriate for you. I chose hospice and palliative care only. I am currently not ready for VSED at this time, personally; I am in no pain and I am using my given time to write memories anfd do genealogy. Peace and love for everyone at this trying time.

Jump to this post

Hard times but I hope you are proud of yourself as choosing to live or die on your terms and not on others. I wish you all the best and admire your guts in dealing with this horrid disease in your big girl shoes. God bless.

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