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Caring for my husband with late-stage lung cancer
Lung Cancer | Last Active: Apr 16, 2020 | Replies (56)Comment receiving replies
@turtle115- As I watched my mother die I learned that death wasn't an event but a process. It can take a while for a body to slowly shut down. This is also a time for you to prepare for your inevitable loss. I know that you have been mourning him but now it's different. Here are some signs that might help you
https://www.crossroadshospice.com/hospice-caregiver-support/end-of-life-signs/
I found it a time that I faced my fears of dying. It didn't resolve until much later, but for me, it was a bit of a break-through. I spent the time sitting on my mom's bed and holding her hand. I talked to her and told her things that I probably never would have if she were cognizant. We had a rocky road together as mother and daughter. I made sure that her lips were moistened and I used a spongie type thing to keep her mouth a bit moist. I wanted to keep her comfortable and know that she was loved and well taken care of.
My moods were all over the place too and I just went with it.
It's exhausting and sad and also very special. I have found it an honor to be with someone when they die.
Replies to "@turtle115- As I watched my mother die I learned that death wasn't an event but a..."
@turtle115 What merpreb said is true I was with my husband when he died and passed over to the other side It was an honor to be there with him . My Mother died during the night I got the call about 5 a.m. but I think she knew the time was coming . The night before she pulled me toward her like in a rush and gave me a kiss. You may find this with your husband or similar . The after my husband I was always seeing hawks everywhere and deer . His Mother planted flowers on our bank they all never grew but that spring they all grew it was like a flower rug on the ground there . Take notice or things your husband liked . Stay strong now and when he is gone . We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers . Post when you can
I am so glad I was with my husband when he passed Feb 8. He was in a care center and I spent the last two days with him. It would have been so much harder to get that call in the night. They helped keep him so comfortable and although he was very quiet, I know know he knew I was there. He is at peace and no longer in pain.
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@merpreb The transitional time of a person is indeed a period where those who caregive are so needed. As a family member, be it spouse or child, it is an honor to assist that person, even if they may not appear to be aware. Hearing is the last sense to quiet, so comforting words or music often quiets the stress. I know for both of my parents, they each waited until I wasn't looking [literally] before they took their last earthly breath.
We each have a wide spectrum of moods and emotions as we go through this, just like the patient does. And conversations can run the gamut.
@turtle115 My wish is for peace for both of you.
Ginger