~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

Hi, Abby @amberpep, so good to hear from you. I'm sorry to hear you feel like others would not want to hear "the same old thing" from you. I am certain you have many members on Connect who care a great deal about you, like @karen00 @parus @hopeful33250 @beverlymarks @sears @jimhd @faithwalker007 @smilie. I hate to hear that you feel like you've given up.

I'm sorry about the news your girlfriend may have bladder cancer, too, in the midst of an already difficult time for many with the virus.

How are you kids doing lately? Are you seeing your girls much?

@amberpep Hi hope you doing a bit better today .Where I live its a 6 story senior building also lo rental with s.s. that's about all I can afford and maintain my budget I lost the text about your girlfriend Tina I will be praying for her . I moved from Pa. to Ca to help with my grandson now he is 12 and doesn't need grandma as much. With this virus now our building is on lockdown and they dont want us to go to each others apt. so guess I,ll clean some more . I do adult coloring also to keep busy cooking and baking so that will help . Anyway you take it easy and be kind to yourself. I just had a bowl of ice cream and strawberries so spoil yourself .

@amberpep

It is good to have you back on Connect, Abby. I too am sorry to hear that you are feeling more isolated (as we all are right now). It is OK to say the same things over and over again. Sometimes it takes a lot of "telling your story" before you reconcile yourself to your feelings.

I hope that connecting with others here will be of help. I know that you have encouraged others here on Connect, so feel free to reach and say "hello" to some of your friends that Lisa, @lisalucier, mentioned in her post.

I look forward to hearing from you again!

Message me anytime! I’d love to visit with you!

@amberpep

I get what you're saying, Abby. It seems like I keep telling about my various issues over and over. I hope that regular followers don't get tired of reading it. I can't remember what I've told to whom.

I had an hour with my therapist today and talked a bit about isolation. When I'm feeling depressed, I want to isolate, but having it required as it is right now is a different kind of isolation. I know that I'll feel better when I can get outside to start the gardening.

I finished a sweater a few weeks ago - a yellow pullover with an unusual shawl collar - and steamed it to shape it to fit my body. For Christmas I made a doll bunkbed for a granddaughter who just turned 3. Now I'm knitting blankets for her dolls. I just have a few inches to go on the third one. I'm poring over my wife's considerable collection of knitting books and magazines, and looking at the Ravelry website, trying to decide which pattern I want to use for my next sweater. My wife and my daughter each gave me some alpaca yarn for Christmas, so I have to figure out the designs for a few scarves. Except for the things I make for granddaughters, I always knit with wool.

So, enforced isolation is kind of nice in that I have lots of time to do the things that are on my list. A week or two ago I put new tires and tubes on my bicycle, with the plan in mind to ride it down to the mailbox. It's a little more than a mile round trip, downhill going and uphill returning. I'm putting on a few pounds which I don't need because I've been working in my recliner. I cut out the snacks and I'm taking smaller servings, but it's not enough to do the job. I've always hated exercise, but I guess I don't have a choice if I'm to shed some pounds.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I pray that she will have good treatment for her cancer. One of my wife's friends from her knitting group just passed away after being able to keep cancer at bay for several years. She was able to do lots of things on her bucket list.

Do you ever get out for a Sunday drive? The country around you is truly beautiful. I guess you see some of it on your trips back and forth to Maryland.

Be safe, Abby, and know that you're not forgotten.

Jim

@hopeful33250 @amberpep - I agree with Teresa that it helps to talk about the same thing over and over when something major happened in your life. It is part of you processing the information and fitting it into your daily life in a form that you can deal with.
I mentioned in an earlier post that I found myself in a similar situation, feeling lonely with no friends here.
This spring I joined a league of women my age playing competitive tennis. Of course now we can’t do it with social distancing. However, I got aquatinted with several women I never met before and we had something in common.
Another thing I did spontaneously a few days ago was sending a mass email to my group of friends I had up North- we moved 15 years ago. I got immediate a, long and interesting answers from everyone. We are all sitting home. Then different conversations started about different things, one of which ended up as a good cause, supplying protective gear to the local firefighters that had nothing. We also plan to have a video cocktail hour via Zoom! I am proud of myself because I’m usually a bit socially shy. I also love this forum Mayo Connect.
Don’t feel bad about talking about the same thing again and again. We understand.

Gosh, thank you everyone .... that really helps. A big thank you to all who have taken the time to write!
I'm still here, in Staunton, VA. It's nothing like Frederick, MD and I just plum don't like it. I rarely go anywhere but church and the grocery store. Someone else up above said "isolate." That's exactly what I do too. Everyone is talking about hating having to stay inside, but I really enjoy being left alone. I go out 2x a day to walk my dog. This is just so different from where I came from .... I still can't even find my way around without a GPS. My relationship with both my daughters is good, and I know they'd be there for anything I needed. We 3 meet for coffee at least once a week. My son drives down from D.C. usually about once a month, stays with his Dad, and always comes to see me for a bit. There have been several groups my X has told me about, but they're all younger than I am .... it's hard to tell as I am much like my Dad .... he stayed young looking until he came down with Alzheimers. All 3 of my kids are in their 40's and one in his 30's and everyone thinks they're about 25 ..... family trait I guess.
I still daydream about Frederick, but know I'll never be back there to live. I should have never left, but whats done is done. I spend a lot of time reading and watching FOX news .... probably shouldn't do that right now as it's all pretty sad news.
The church I went to in Frederick opened up the same denomination down here as I was up there. At first I was excited about it, but it started with 16 people and it's still at 16. It's nothing like the Frederick one and unless they make some changes, they won't get anymore folks to visit. So, when we all can get out of our "isolation booths" I'm going to start going to a different one, although I know I'll get phone call after phone call about "we missed you, where have you been?" It's dry, somber, and depressing. At the other one, people come up to you and talk and talk and tell you what's going on and invite you to small groups and other events they have. Maybe that will help me make some like-minded friends.
I guess I've just resigned myself that this is where I'll live til the end. Thanks so much for writing and again listening to my chatter.
abby

I like your comment about not going without a GPS. Are you serious?? My kids advise me to get one, one in car and one on smart phone lol. I tell them sorry I don't trust them. What about those stories of people ending up on an air field or top of cliff. I go with good old fashioned paper/book maps if I need them. Guess I am a luddite.

In similar situation, although 74 and recently he divorced me, wants me to have nothing I believe while he has a good life. Try applying for food stamps, helps a bit. One kid don't help; won't help me anyway, say I am spoiled at 74 and THAT i need meds! sEEING A Talk Therapist< pHychologist (she doesn't believe in drugs, although will give them via PHYC. WHO PRESCRIBES THEM), and Primary has given me a clean bill of health. sINKING, MAYBE MEDICAID (WARD OF STATE) IS THE ONLY ANSWER LEFT.

Hi - If your (limited) budget permits - why don't you see another psychotherapist. A good psychotherapist often works with a psychiatrist if you need / she thinks you need meds.