~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

It sucks having family that causes pain but at the same time I have one friend. I’m not good at making friends and keeping them.

It’s 11:41 pm where I live, Toronto, Ontario, Canada and I’m crying!!!! How does a person trust anyone?

This is “family”. They seem to be the worst people to trust. “He” caused such grief and “she” allowed it. “He” is her second husband and her first one wasn’t nice either.

@smilie Many of us have family issues. I no longer expect help and would not even think of asking. I ceased trying to be the person they wanted and have gone my own way, set my boundaries and endeavoring to live my life in a way that is good for me. I have always been independent and not one to ask for help. The thing I do know whether it be family or friends is that no one else can fix things for me. There comes a time when we need to do what is in our best interest and not what pleases others. It hurts when you feel others have failed you. It is healthy you can set boundaries. There are those that will respect you for doing thus.

Isn’t it sad about family. My problem is that I have never been independent. My sisters are 12 and 9 years older than me. I became very depressed when I was about 12 years old and now I’m 60 years old and not independent much. Because of my depression I never worked so I wouldn’t be able to write a resume.

Hello @smilie
@parus and @amberpep provided some good thoughts in their posts to you. You might read them over again and think about them. The fact that you have never been "independent much" as you said in your post, does not mean that it is impossible, even at age 60, to begin the process of independence. Just remember that it is a process and will take time.

Just begin to reclaim small parts of your life, one step at a time.

Can you think of one thing that you would like to do independent of family? What is that? How might you accomplish that, taking small steps?

I've been looking on line at low rent 1 bedroom-apartments in Frederick, and the ones I can afford are in neighborhoods that are "sketchy.' I thought of renting a room up that way with kitchen privileges, but at this age that would feel sort of odd. So, I am checking out the cost of the 1-bedroom apartments in the senior building .... if I remember correctly, a few years ago it was about $1200 per month which, unless I got a job, is out of the question for me. I'm going to contact my former employer (a dentist) to see what contacts he still has in the dental/medical community. He retired the same day I moved.
I feel like a flounder flopping along the bottom of the water! I probably should have kept our house .... just prior to that we'd had the whole water/septic system replaced,, the electric was very low, and I'd have closed off the 2nd floor totally and revamped the downstairs so I could have my bedroom there. But, these are the things you think of after the fact.
abby

Hi Smile, I found over the years "friends" really don't want to hear too much of the negatives in my life. I have few friends now because my life has changed. They don't know how bad the pain is. They ask, all I say, "same" For me it's better this way because I laugh, talk and most of all I get Away From Me.. It also helps the pain and it feels good. Things that hurt can turn into good experience.

I hope I made sense??

Hi. Thank you for this wonderful advice!!!!! I will try it, but I’m still afraid to go out to meet people.