1. < Depression & Anxiety

Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children

Posted by kdo0827 @kdo0827, Dec 27, 2018

Hi everyone! It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I started taking Cymbalta and got off the other stuff. I was doing better but the past 2 months or so not so good. I’m struggling with feeling invisible and I’m feeling very unappreciated. I feel my kids only call when they want something or have a problem. They never ask how I’m feeling nor do they try and help. I had a procedure done yesterday and neither one bothered to check on me. Adding this to my depression isn’t good. Do any of you have these same feelings about your kids?What should I do?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

coloradolori | @coloradolori | Dec 30, 2018
In reply to @coloradolori "It’s so hard in some states to get approved for SSN disability. Even very disabled people..." + (show)
@coloradolori

It’s so hard in some states to get approved for SSN disability. Even very disabled people sometimes don’t get approved. It’s very difficult. Seems like the SSN administration try to NOT approve. They seem to find loopholes to not approve. Even when we are very disabled. I say don’t give up. Get a lawyer too. They truly do help in Disability cases. It’s a shame when disabled folks like us who truly are disabled don’t get approved. Sometimes it takes 2-3 times to resubmit. Take good care.

Jump to this post

Keep the faith & keep trying. It’s a lot of work too get approved submitting all the paperwork.

REPLY
654321 | @654321 | Dec 30, 2018
In reply to @kdo0827 "Thanks for your post. I also don’t think it’s asking too much for a thank you..." + (show)
@kdo0827

Thanks for your post. I also don’t think it’s asking too much for a thank you and a how are you doing. I’ve never turned down requests for help from our kids and they’ve “borrowed” many thousands of dollars with no payback as promised. But this New Year my husband are going to start doing for us. While our kids were out going to dinner, taking trips we sat at home because we’ve exhausted our savings helping them. They are 32 and 34 and we’re done with bailing them out. We love them more than anything but it’s time. Of course if it’s a dire situation we will try to help.

Jump to this post

Enjoy yourselves and explore new travels!

REPLY
654321 | @654321 | Dec 30, 2018
In reply to @macjane "Today started out bad but read your letter and am going to PUSH FORWARD. Didn't help..." + (show)
@macjane

Today started out bad but read your letter and am going to PUSH FORWARD. Didn't help weather was so dreary.

Jump to this post

Cold in Texas today.

REPLY
654321 | @654321 | Dec 30, 2018
In reply to @macjane "My parents had my grandfather stay with them for three months and then had him go..." + (show)
@macjane

My parents had my grandfather stay with them for three months and then had him go to his daughter's about an hour away. I wish more younger ones thought about having parents stay with them if they were alone. Just too old in my thinking.

Jump to this post

It used to be that way long ago. It seemed to work well.

REPLY
lioness | @lioness | Dec 30, 2018
In reply to @kdo0827 "I’m seriously thinking about going off Cymbalta as I don’t like how I feel. I’m on..." + (show)
@kdo0827

I’m seriously thinking about going off Cymbalta as I don’t like how I feel. I’m on disability but it took me 3.5 years. I finally hired an atty after getting denied. In NC you don’t pay the atty anything until you get approved and then they get a percentage of your back pay. It wasn’t that much. To me well worth it.

Jump to this post

kdo0827 I had s workers comp case and the attorneys took 20 percent

REPLY
654321 | @654321 | Dec 30, 2018
In reply to @macjane "Waiting for delivery of my light at any time. Use to have horrible big clumsy one..." + (show)
@macjane

Waiting for delivery of my light at any time. Use to have horrible big clumsy one - gave it away but looked at some on line and the reviews. We don't get sun in MI.

Jump to this post

Make sure you let people know how this works for you.

REPLY
hodagwi | @hodagwi | Dec 30, 2018

I don't give my kids the power to determine my happiness. I determine my happiness. 4 daughters, 38,39,42 and 45 with families and kids. If I want to call them I call them and we always have a pleasant conversation. I do most of the calling, which is fine by me. One granddaughter acknowledges her presents but other ones don't until I see them. I don't live close to them so that is 2-3 times a year that I see them. I always feel welcome in their home and have a room for me and nice time when I visit. I am 71 and the oldest in the family. Yes, I just bought my own tombstone and sent them pictures of it. LOL. I am happy with the life I have and that gives me great joy and satisfaction. If I expect other people to do what I want or for others to "make me happy", never will happen.
GF has 3 daughters with only one talking to her, because of some issues 20-30 years ago. She reaches out to them and is ignored. Checks are cashed however. She constantly is depressed because her kids are not doing what she wants them to do so that she can be happy. Think about that. When we visited them, they are not mean or nasty, most of the time. So does she give them money because it makes GF feel good, or does she give them money/bribe so they contact her? I am afraid good manners and respect for elders/parents has changed and I hope us baby boomer generation parents didn't create this.

REPLY
2 replies
654321 | @654321 | Dec 30, 2018
In reply to @gingerw "@merpreb This has been an interesting discussion. First, I have no kids. Never wanted them. I..." + (show)
@gingerw

@merpreb This has been an interesting discussion. First, I have no kids. Never wanted them. I have been married since last April to a man with 2 grown kids, now 39 and 34. I haven't had the experience of raising kids nor dealing with the issues you all I have spoken of. I do see my step children, 2 complete opposite personalities. One is loving and in contact regularly, even though he lives 800 miles away and is a long haul trucker. He will often route through here to stop for dinner or take his 30 hours down when possible. The other lives 30 miles away and we go months with no contact, no call/text/email.
Ginger

Jump to this post

O k major slip up! What is the name of the light that helps depression .?

REPLY
1 reply
kdo0827 | @kdo0827 | Dec 30, 2018
In reply to @hodagwi "I don't give my kids the power to determine my happiness. I determine my happiness. 4..." + (show)
@hodagwi

I don't give my kids the power to determine my happiness. I determine my happiness. 4 daughters, 38,39,42 and 45 with families and kids. If I want to call them I call them and we always have a pleasant conversation. I do most of the calling, which is fine by me. One granddaughter acknowledges her presents but other ones don't until I see them. I don't live close to them so that is 2-3 times a year that I see them. I always feel welcome in their home and have a room for me and nice time when I visit. I am 71 and the oldest in the family. Yes, I just bought my own tombstone and sent them pictures of it. LOL. I am happy with the life I have and that gives me great joy and satisfaction. If I expect other people to do what I want or for others to "make me happy", never will happen.
GF has 3 daughters with only one talking to her, because of some issues 20-30 years ago. She reaches out to them and is ignored. Checks are cashed however. She constantly is depressed because her kids are not doing what she wants them to do so that she can be happy. Think about that. When we visited them, they are not mean or nasty, most of the time. So does she give them money because it makes GF feel good, or does she give them money/bribe so they contact her? I am afraid good manners and respect for elders/parents has changed and I hope us baby boomer generation parents didn't create this.

Jump to this post

I don’t give anyone that power over me either. My true happiness comes from God. There’s not a one pill or solution that works for everyone. Also not everyone has the same depression symptoms. Some have mild depression and others suffer greatly. I will never stop expecting a thank you or a simple check in. It’s not how I raised my kids to be. They’re kind and decent people who just need reminding that Mom is a human with feelings.

REPLY
kdo0827 | @kdo0827 | Dec 30, 2018
In reply to @coloradolori "You hang in there. We did the same. Helped & helped others to our fault. Plus..." + (show)
@coloradolori

You hang in there. We did the same. Helped & helped others to our fault. Plus in 1996 adopted an older child now 28.
We stopped finally. We had to. Just small things now & then but very small. But you take care. Thank u for sharing !!

Jump to this post

Thanks for your support and for sharing.

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.