Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children

Love it ! This has been a wonderful day . Fun and helpful . Thanks for getting it started Parus.

I’m so sorry you’ve had such a hard journey. My husband and my oldest daughter are Bi polar. I know it’s a struggle for them but it’s also hard on their family. My husband is doing well with only occasional lows. My daughter is ok but suffers really bad with anxiety. I finally have her going to my psychiatrist and I know he’s going to help her. As for Cymbalta YES YES YES!!! I never want to go anywhere!! I have to force myself to get out. Have you asked your dr about this?

Thanks so much for saying this!!!! This site is such a Blessing. I am sorry if I came out like a whiny little brat before but there is so much more I am a wonderful person inside - I was always on the GO Go Go ! I never stop helping my children and others. I love life. On my facebook it says Look for the good in everything and everyone ! I am not kidding. I worry about my first born because I am so afraid she is gonna die young. She is almost 40. She is a genius that just gave up. She is into drugs and the kids love her to death anyway. But they raised themselves. She has never forgiven me for something. I am so ashamed, of, but she has made me pay dearly. I guess I wish I could just hold her so tight. Get up and start caring about others and yourself. My counselor told me to let the kids go. My ex molested by son in diapers. He got away with it because he was a narc. He convinced the kids I was crazy. Nobody wants to even talk about this. I do not say anything to my kids about the past. My son is a mess. I will not go into details but my ex was bi too I lived a Christian life for 30 years. He is psychopathic and narcissistic. I was so naive in life. It is a long story that people would find hard to believe I have always been patient and helped so many children; special needs etc. I am beginning to think that the Cymbalta has changed my life. I never stayed home. All I ever wanted was to have family over with the grandkids on the weekends etc. I lived my whole life for my children. If I dont accept the past and let it go in my head I will never be able to move on in life. Again I am sorry for coming across so whiny. I have PTSD/ ADHD . You can see it in my thoughts wondering around in the posts Happy New Years If anyone was on Cymbalta with side effects of not leaving the house or driving let me know. Ps, I have been walking around my yard with Duke (DOG)thinking about life. Happy New Years!

@mickj, @kdo0827- Interesting conversation. My 2 older daughters (29 & 38) all in are great kids and I know they love us very much, but for every birthday, fathers day & even Christmas, they much prefer me to send them a link from Amazon on what I would like. Several years back I told them both that I had everything I needed and asked them to call me regularly (at least once a month) and have a conversation and tell me they love me. Seems rather simple to me? Well that has not happened and I think they believe I'm kidding, but I've let them know that I'm not. Somehow that seems to difficult for them? Now that I have an I-Phone rather than my old trusty flip phone, they occasionaly text me. It helps if I get it started though. On a recent trip to my youngest daughters out of state, we had given her our flights, etc. and when we touched base as time drew close she told us that we would have to grab an Uber from the airport to the house. Evidently it was an inconvenient time due to our granddaughters nap time.
Call me old fashioned, but I never would have asked my folks to take a cab whenever they visited me. I agree with an earlier post that once they get a bit older they will appreciate perhaps us more and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

@afrobin- I think that you are talking about extremes. I believe that some of us are simply saying that a bit of appreciation and concern is an appropriate response be an adult child. I also think that not saying thank you for gifts is inappropriate behavior for an adult child. I am not talking about adult children with severe mental health problems.
When I fly to visit my son, who lives on the opposite coast from me he picks me up. He lives about 3/4 hr away and unless my husband and I rent a car I expect him to do this. I do not feel that he is burdened by this, nor does he.
I think that when our kids have kids their thoughts should be with their kids and what's best for them. If a child has trouble sleeping then interrupting a nap might not be the best idea. Some kids adapt very well to being woken up and taken anywhere, some don't. When I was a young mother I really hated to wake my son up, for anything. I missed doing things and felt selfish sometimes but that's what I did.
Perhaps we need to make alternate plans if our children can't make it to pick us up, take us to an appointment, or whatever. If I lived alone and my son lived near me then I would not hesitate to ask him to help me out. I do feel like a pain when I have to rely on anyone, but that's what mine does. I think that there is a difference between being a burden and being a part of a family.

It has indeed ginger-The world of raising children is indeed the most difficult- somewhere between heaven and hell. Massive tome have been written about it and still, nothing changes. We just hope that they grow up to be nice, decent human beings who are healthy and happy. A lot don't make it.

Thanks so much for saying this!!!! This site is such a Blessing. I am sorry if I came out like a whiny little brat before but there is so much more I am a wonderful person inside - I was always on the GO Go Go ! I never stop helping my children and others. I love life. On my facebook it says Look for the good in everything and everyone ! I am not kidding. I worry about my first born because I am so afraid she is gonna die young. She is almost 40. She is a genius that just gave up. She is into drugs and the kids love her to death anyway. But they raised themselves. She has never forgiven me for something. I am so ashamed, of, but she has made me pay dearly. I guess I wish I could just hold her so tight. Get up and start caring about others and yourself. My counselor told me to let the kids go. My ex molested by son in diapers. He got away with it because he was a narc. He convinced the kids I was crazy. Nobody wants to even talk about this. I do not say anything to my kids about the past. My son is a mess. I will not go into details but my ex was bi too I lived a Christian life for 30 years. He is psychopathic and narcissistic. I was so naive in life. It is a long story that people would find hard to believe I have always been patient and helped so many children; special needs etc. I am beginning to think that the Cymbalta has changed my life. I never stayed home. All I ever wanted was to have family over with the grandkids on the weekends etc. I lived my whole life for my children. If I dont accept the past and let it go in my head I will never be able to move on in life. Again I am sorry for coming across so whiny. I have PTSD/ ADHD . You can see it in my thoughts wondering around in the posts Happy New Years If anyone was on Cymbalta with side effects of not leaving the house or driving let me know. Ps, I have been walking around my yard with Duke (DOG)thinking about life. Happy New Years!

I take Cymbalta too and never want to leave the house!! Why do you think this is?