Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children

They both work and I babysit for one daughter. I just wanted to know I mattered.

@kdo0827 Sometimes they need to hear how you feel ,call them I had to call my son and do this I told him at my age you don't know how long I,ll be here it worked he calls now every once in awhile.If you don't say something they don't know.

You’re right, I need to let them know how I’m feeling. Thanks!

@kdo0827 your welcome let us know if this helped

@mickj, @kdo0827- Interesting conversation. My 2 older daughters (29 & 38) all in are great kids and I know they love us very much, but for every birthday, fathers day & even Christmas, they much prefer me to send them a link from Amazon on what I would like. Several years back I told them both that I had everything I needed and asked them to call me regularly (at least once a month) and have a conversation and tell me they love me. Seems rather simple to me? Well that has not happened and I think they believe I'm kidding, but I've let them know that I'm not. Somehow that seems to difficult for them? Now that I have an I-Phone rather than my old trusty flip phone, they occasionaly text me. It helps if I get it started though. On a recent trip to my youngest daughters out of state, we had given her our flights, etc. and when we touched base as time drew close she told us that we would have to grab an Uber from the airport to the house. Evidently it was an inconvenient time due to our granddaughters nap time.
Call me old fashioned, but I never would have asked my folks to take a cab whenever they visited me. I agree with an earlier post that once they get a bit older they will appreciate perhaps us more and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Wow! I’m with you, I would never ask someone to take a taxi from the airport to get to my house! It seems to me that she could’ve had the grandchild nap earlier. As for Christmas gifts we do White Elephant. So I don’t expect a gift from our daughters although they do normally give me something but not even a card this year. I’m sure my depression isn’t helping how invisible I feel or is how I feel making my depression worse? 2019 is going to be the start of a new journey of my husband and I putting ourselves first and we’re going to start doing things we want instead of bailing out our kids every time they have a money problem. We certainly learned how to survive and it’s time they do too. We’ve spent thousands of dollars and I’ve depleted my 401K to help them. It’s time for us now.

Also, I cannot imagine that your kids are too busy to call you like you requested. We all have the same 24 hours each day. They just need to make time for you.

Sorry you are feeling low again. Frankly don’t discount that it is the end of the year, you have some organic changes because of meds, and the fact of life is that our kids do call only — at least mine (and they are stepkids!) when they have a problem. What I have found that is helpful for me is to text them now and again. They may not always respond quickly but it is a way to stay in touch. Hope you feel better! Best wishes for a healthy New Year.

@mickj- You are funny. It's extremely disconcerting when kids don't seem to "care" the way we do or the way we think that they should.

@frangreen1143- This is a good point. Any time that we reflect back (and the new year is always a time for reflection) we remember the bad as well as the good. And this year has been horrendous with all the anger in the USA, especially. Also the light is dimmer from the sun and weather tends to keep us inside more. So if we already are depressed, don't want to go out, don't want to see anyone or have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) we will feel it even more.