Long-term depression

@seeker70 I can relate to your depression. I also had it since I was a kid and now a senior. It is mild sometimes but mostly it stand its ugly head out and it keeps me from enjoying most things. I recently told a friend I was depressed again and don't know why. I want to be happy and enjoy life. I want the joy most people feel and live. When I was younger I would work long hours so my mind would stay busy on work instead of depression. Now that I am older I realized I was only hurting my children because I was engulfed in work and too busy to be with them. The guilt and worry that comes along with depression is terrible. Prayers for all of you. I hope we all beat this thing once and for all. Wanda

I was depressed as a kid, but had no name for my feelings. I knew I was different and actually hid out from everyone for hours at a time. I coped as best as I could and didn't really hit the wall until I was in my mid 20s when my 2nd marriage was floundering. I now realize at that time I was judging myself by whatever man was in my life. I was hurt, depressed and angry. I felt I couldn't be happy until a man loved and needed me (only me). That didn't turn out so well and it has taken my whole life to feel free of that need. However, I'm a people pleaser, even though I know this doesn't work either. I am pretty much a loner and some days are up and some down. I am usually the happiest when I have a new project or idea to challenge me. I have never spent real time with a councilor, other than my three week stay in the hospital. I was given insulin shock and hardly remember what we talked about. I only saw him a couple of times after the stay. I didn't know how to trust him either. I look at my depression as a disease like any other and cope as best I can.

@liz223

I so appreciate you sharing your story. People pleasing is one of those horrendous tasks that does not offer much pleasure to the one involved (or even to the people we are trying to please). I am glad that you have gained as much insight as you have.

You mention not having done much counseling. Have you ever thought of trying it again? As you are very insightful and articulate person it might be a help to you now.

I look forward to your future posts!

Teresa

People that say get over it are ignorant and can kiss my ass, can you get over cancer. I don't get happy people.

This I can understand. On days I am not "balanced" I lose the day and oft times more. Eventually we come back around even if it may not feel that we ever will at the time.

I have learned to not even mention the "D" word. Admitting thus has offered nothing except cause more harm on many levels.

I do almost daily research about anxiety and depression and have discovered that these maladies are not being ignored as there are many studies that use imaging to find out what part of the brain causes the two problems. These researchers are working very hard to find the answers and I want to assure you that these two problems have the attention of many people who are devoting their lives to finding the answer

You mentioned cancer and today many people, like one of my nieces who was receently diagnosed with what used to be terminal cancer and now is being treated with chemo that almost guarantees her five more years of life with the doctor telling her that by that time there will be a cure.

So if it is any consolation to know that anxiety and depression are the subject of many studies with a good chance they will find the answer to what causes it and alleviate the symptoms.

You wrote that you are mostly "balanced" most of the day. What does that mean and how do you attain that?

I hope they can figure out a way to control these horrible conditions. I have been fighting Anxiety and Depression for years. I want so bad to feel half way normal. Iam 72 and have treatment resistant Anxiety and Depression. Every day is a struggle. Every night i go to bed, i hope tomorrow will be better.

I have noticed that once a depressed or anxious person is diagnosed, they never get the ptoper attention paid to them when they go to a doctor for a illness. They just say well, its your depression. Its like a depressed person can never get sick. As a result, alot of depressed and anxious people avoid going to a doctor for treatment when they should.