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Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

Posted by tryingtimes10 @tryingtimes10, Dec 31, 2024

My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2019. He is pretty independent, just forgetful of time, dates, location of places, anything electronic & events from our life together (we’ve been married 52 years). It’s all just getting to me. I find myself wanting to be alone so I’m not continuously reminded of these changes. Because my friends/family are out of state, working, or involved with their own families, I really have no one to talk to so I’m seeing a therapist twice a week to deal with the sadness, anger, grief I have over his condition. I just wonder if other women find themselves in this position & how they are dealing with it.

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kmliste | @kmliste | 5 days ago
In reply to @phillipsk2 "Yes, I am interested in following." + (show)
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Yes, I am interested in following.

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@phillipsk2
If you like, there is an article from 2024 in “Brain and Life; Neurology for everyday living” that you may find helpful. The article is about Mild Cognitive Impairment-“It’s neither normal aging nor dementia”
BrainandLife.org

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defleurs | @defleurs | 2 days ago
In reply to @lkbous "@defleurs I’m not a caregiver type either. And you’re not kidding, it’s hard!!! I find that..." + (show)
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@defleurs I’m not a caregiver type either. And you’re not kidding, it’s hard!!! I find that when I try to have a conversation with him (yes, I get fooled into trying to pretend he’s himself) he usually has no response at all and I always say “ Did you hear me?” & he says yes and I ask why he didn’t respond- no response or “I didn’t know I was supposed to answer.” It’s very lonely losing your loved one in this way.
Wishing you well,
Linda

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@lkbous
Thank you for your comments. I relate to your husband not responding to you when you ask him a question. We had multiple discussions about me asking him for help with garden work where he said nothing in response.
I am a scientist and what I find helpful is writing down how to respond to certain conversations. It helps me know there is a solution to these communication problems. There are lots of help on line. To me it was important to know why he would respond to me in a certain way.

Hope this helps

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lkbous | @lkbous | 6 hours ago
In reply to @kjc48 "@vcawnjo08 "I am here" is so powerful and kind to many of us who continue to..." + (show)
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@vcawnjo08 "I am here" is so powerful and kind to many of us who continue to reach out on this site for support, help and guidance. With family members living their own lives, busy with kids, and the few friends, that just turn the other cheek to someone's memory loss, I'm working on creating as many memories with my husband as I can. For Father's Day, I went into storage (since we're living out of boxes in a rental), and pulled out a box that belonged to him, his family, baby pictures, his deceased parents and 4 brothers. I can't even begin to describe the joyful look on his face, and the emotion he showed, in a mind where on any given day, there are blank stares and confusion. I even put together a shadow box of some of those pictures for his youngest son (we're a blended family), to take with us to North Carolina this week. We spent hours going through pictures, reminding me, that sometimes the simpler things - depending upon what stage they're in - communicates volumes. Life through family pictures just like that documentary "Alive Inside," where music became the catalyst for an awakening for a man lifeless in his wheelchair, who heard the music, woke up, and started tap dancing his feet to the music. He remembered every step from his younger years on Broadway. I think for us as caregivers, moving off the grief to some memory that resonates, so we can find the joy that comes from what @memoriestomoments posted on this site. Seeing our younger days with family in that hidden box of treasure, lit up my husband in ways that made him feel so good. And for that, no grief, no worries, just a feel-good Father's Day. Best, Karla

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@kjc48 Karla, how ironic, I got my husband a new digital frame for Father’s Day and he is so enthralled with it. It seems to have endless space and he had such a good time adding photos to it and still does. He raves about how much he loves it.
On a side note, I love reading what you write. You are so in tune with what is right and what is not okay. I feel like you are the perfect caregiver. Good job, Karla.
Linda

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