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Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

Posted by tryingtimes10 @tryingtimes10, Dec 31, 2024

My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2019. He is pretty independent, just forgetful of time, dates, location of places, anything electronic & events from our life together (we’ve been married 52 years). It’s all just getting to me. I find myself wanting to be alone so I’m not continuously reminded of these changes. Because my friends/family are out of state, working, or involved with their own families, I really have no one to talk to so I’m seeing a therapist twice a week to deal with the sadness, anger, grief I have over his condition. I just wonder if other women find themselves in this position & how they are dealing with it.

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grandmajoan | @grandmajoan | 1 day ago
In reply to @debbid1958 "@tryingtimes10 We are just beginning this journey.I miss the man I married though.It can be very..." + (show)
Profile picture for debbid1958 @debbid1958

@tryingtimes10 We are just beginning this journey.I miss the man I married though.It can be very lonely and I just want to isolate myself.My husband is basically still functionally independent but I’m so sad to lose the emotional connection we always had.His memory is so poor that all of our conversations feel empty. He doesn’t remember anything I say to him and it’s so frustrating feel so disconnected now.

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@debbid1958 I am in a similar situation. Try to find ways to spend time doing things you enjoy. I force myself to do that and it helps.

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joemurphy43 | @joemurphy43 | 1 day ago
In reply to @midnightwalker "@joemurphy43 It sure is a big decision. I have MCI and Alzheimers confirmed with PET Scan...." + (show)
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@joemurphy43 It sure is a big decision. I have MCI and Alzheimers confirmed with PET Scan. At 79 I thought "why bother", but then I thought about my young grandchildren and thought "why not"...I start Leqembi very soon. Hate the idea of so many weeks but now they have come up with an at home once a month follow up after the initial treatments and who knows what they'll come up with by that time. So I'm going forward. That's an optimist for sure...good luck with your decision.

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@midnightwalker thank you for your thoughts, much appreciated…don’t believe there is a correct answer, my wife is 83 and gets very anxious and after reading several study conclusions on the fusion therapies we decided against going forward… I wish you the very best
Good luck and a super big hug👍

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midnightwalker | @midnightwalker | 1 day ago
In reply to @joemurphy43 "@midnightwalker thank you for your thoughts, much appreciated…don’t believe there is a correct answer, my wife..." + (show)
Profile picture for joemurphy43 @joemurphy43

@midnightwalker thank you for your thoughts, much appreciated…don’t believe there is a correct answer, my wife is 83 and gets very anxious and after reading several study conclusions on the fusion therapies we decided against going forward… I wish you the very best
Good luck and a super big hug👍

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@joemurphy43 I was worried that you were "giving up" which is why I wrote what I hoped was an encouraging note. Then I happened on to some "new-to -me" news and am glad you responded...it was from Eisai Presents New Data on the Continued and Expanding Benefit of LEQEMBI Maintenance Treatment in Early Alzheimer's Disease at CTAD 2025 conference between Tokyo and Cambridge, Mass. You just enter that into your computer and it should come up. It was from a Dec, 2025 conference and suggested actual "Time Savings" if you do or don't take Leqembi...If nothing else, it gives an easy-to-digest understanding of what we are up against. It gave me simple time extensions based on Mild Cognitive Impairment to Mild Alheimer's Disease info and also on Mild Cognitive Impairment to Moderate Alzheimer's Disease.
The final information I garnered was finding out about Leqembi IQLIK. This floored me . It discusses using an at-home injection weekly which has essentially nearly the exact same results as the tedious 18 month regimen of Leqembi infusions. I believe I will tell my doctor (I have no neurologist yet) that I would like to start on infusions to get going and if all seems well after an MRI or two, I want to transition to the injections at home. Don't mean to babble on, but even if you have made up your "final" mind, maybe you know someone who could tolerate this mess better if they didn't have to travel many miles back and forth for the infusions. I believe this all to be true. Will let you all know as time progresses...Best to you.

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midnightwalker | @midnightwalker | 1 day ago
In reply to @dianaml "My husband was diagnosed with mild cognitive decline 2 years ago. It had a very gradual..." + (show)
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My husband was diagnosed with mild cognitive decline 2 years ago. It had a very gradual onset. It is very difficult for me to deal with this Behavior. I did go to a therapist for 4 months but it wasn't helpful really. We both go to a memory Clinic and he is evaluated every 6 months. We had an appointment yesterday and they are calling his condition stable. He takes Aricept. I have to assume it's helping. The behaviors that come with this diagnosis are so hard on me and I constantly have to as they say let things go. He blames me for everything, is irritable, and at times I just have to go someplace. For my own sanity I visit friends when I can but none of them live nearby. My son and his wife live also in Vermont where I live, but two and a half hours north of me. They are totally understanding but half busy lives.

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@dianaml Is your husband moving forward to Leqembi type infusions? Has he had blood work done so you have an idea of where he is in regard to MCI? Lots of new information seems to be happening in regard to Alzheimer treatment. Best of luck.

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dianaml | @dianaml | 22 hours ago
In reply to @midnightwalker "@dianaml Is your husband moving forward to Leqembi type infusions? Has he had blood work done..." + (show)
Profile picture for midnightwalker @midnightwalker

@dianaml Is your husband moving forward to Leqembi type infusions? Has he had blood work done so you have an idea of where he is in regard to MCI? Lots of new information seems to be happening in regard to Alzheimer treatment. Best of luck.

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@midnightwalker
Yes my husband has bloodwork on a regular basis. He is refusing infusion, sticking with Aricept, and a bunch of other supplements that are useless but he finds using them gives him a sense of control I suppose. On another note does everybody know what confabulation means? It's something that people with dementia do when they can't remember something in the moment, they make something up. To cover up for not remembering. It's not a lie, it's unconscious and they actually think it's true. And they are so sure of themselves and they will fight with you and an entire argument will center around whether or not this or that actually happened. If it wasn't so pathetic it would be funny. Look the word up, and read about it, it's interesting and I bet it applies to somebody in your life. It helps to explain things when power struggles emerge.

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midnightwalker | @midnightwalker | 20 hours ago
In reply to @dianaml "@midnightwalker Yes my husband has bloodwork on a regular basis. He is refusing infusion, sticking with..." + (show)
Profile picture for dianaml @dianaml

@midnightwalker
Yes my husband has bloodwork on a regular basis. He is refusing infusion, sticking with Aricept, and a bunch of other supplements that are useless but he finds using them gives him a sense of control I suppose. On another note does everybody know what confabulation means? It's something that people with dementia do when they can't remember something in the moment, they make something up. To cover up for not remembering. It's not a lie, it's unconscious and they actually think it's true. And they are so sure of themselves and they will fight with you and an entire argument will center around whether or not this or that actually happened. If it wasn't so pathetic it would be funny. Look the word up, and read about it, it's interesting and I bet it applies to somebody in your life. It helps to explain things when power struggles emerge.

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@dianaml Love the word. Thank you. Best for you and your husband.

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dederickve | @dederickve | 3 hours ago
In reply to @mrsschib "Hi. I am in the same boat except I moved us to Europe (his original home)..." + (show)
Profile picture for mrsschib @mrsschib

Hi. I am in the same boat except I moved us to Europe (his original home) 12 years ago for other reasons. I have not been able to learn the language & the support network I thought we would have here, is now non-existent At almost 70, I have some health issues, but think they have developed mostly from
stress.
I've already tried 4 different therapists including someone I found on the American embassy website who was not a good match. The others were ok, but not good enough to completely understand my American dialect.
I have a couple of dear friends here, but am embarrassed to constantly dwell on my situation. I'm also no longer in touch with my old friends from the US or my limited family members.
Exercise and loving on my pets helps a bit, but I know I'm isolating myself which is bad for my anxiety & depression... I'm not expecting any answers through this, it's just nice to vent to people who are going through a very similar situation!

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@mrsschib Understand your loneliness. I am lonely, too. Have my husband, who has his problems. Live where I have lived, lifelong. All my friends are either living away, or have passed on. I think I am friendly, and interested enough in other people, without being pushy. But, it goes nowhere, and I have to help fill in my time, with my own pursuits. But, I am lonely. We live in an isolated area, too.

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