Guilty Pleasures

@georgescraftjr It's amazing that you would send me the "Footprint Prayer" tonight - I gave that to my mother when she got sick and I have it right here on my desk. I love that beautiful prayer. Thanks for reminding me that we are not alone. Best, Karla

@kjc48
The Prayer: I have had it for years. Not one page, a whole pad.

@shmerdloff I love it....."a whole pad" - where do I get that?
Best, Karla

I don't know what "the pad" is. Is it a book of poems, or just that one poem, elaborated? I hate to ask stupid questions, but I'm now intrigued. I'll google and see what I see.
Thanks for responding.
Best Karla

@kjc48
Oh! It's just a colored page with poem on it and flowers. If you scribble on it, you tear off the page, and there is another one, different color. Different flowers, but same poem and so on
I am not a thrower outer , so I nevet scribbled on it or tore off the pages. I'll see if I can take a picture of it.
I didn't know why I saved it intact all these years. Now I do😄

@shmerdloff Thank you for going through so much trouble. @georgescraftjr sent me a link for a journal with the poem etched on the cover. Cool. All these gifts today from Mayo Connect. Thank you. Best, Karla

Lilly, all of us have broken every rule on what to say and what to do or not do. That's NOTHING to feel guilty over. That's just daily living. I harbored the most guilt when my mother died in 1996. For the last 20 years, I've been carrying it, sad that as an only child, with very few living relatives living (my father died when I was 18, the glue that kept us all together), that she and I couldn't have figured out a way to have had a better, hands on, more loving relationship. She lived in one state, I was in working full time in another, and Eddie was in another. I wasn't there for her the way I should have been in the prime of my career, and challenging dealing with the "last five years" I just had to continue working (for a retirement pension), while her Asian doctor told me I needed to live with her and handle her affairs. She was dying. I was there off and on, I hired people to come in, and did all the right things financially for her. I just didn't provide the "emotional" support what she really needed the most. And for that, that's where the guilt sets in. I am sad but I finally have come to terms with it. I tried, I did the best I could do, and that's all you can ask for. In prayer, I've asked her for her forgiveness a million times. Dealing with MCI, Alzheimers, Dementia - any serious medical situation like cancer, etc. - is full time. and a commitment. Why feel guilty over anything. My God, You are giving it your all, even at the detriment of your own health. I don't have guilt, I feel fear of the unknown. And obviously, so much daily confusion having been pushed out of my house where the financial aspect of what we're up against is stifling, and to where I'm having to make future plans on selling the house after the remodel, where we go, where should we go short or long term based on a progressive disease, and all the other decisions I have to make because of his last year's diagnosis.
I have to make all these decisions alone with where we go, what we do, while the "elephant" in the room is his memory loss, his probable progression, and the stress associated with increased caregiving. Please don't feel guilt. Love yourself, for everything you continue to do for George and for others on this site. Love, Karla

@ocdogmom

Thanks for being one of the first members to help me find balance in my life. I am humbled by your help and the help of others through which God moves:

But this morning, I was too numb and exhausted to feel anything. George kept me up for five hours again last night--and he keeps calling out whenever I try to nap during the day! That's been going on for weeks and weeks now, while we experiment with new meds.

You, and too many people to public acknowledge, deserve your daily pleasures. From my perspective, a few examples of the saint-like members our littile community--besides you and our devoted mentors and director--are: @labrown @trishaanderson @kjc48 @dbamos1945 @grandmajoan @shmerdloff @pcetng0202 and @scottrl. I am no saint: I have broken all the rules of how not to talk to someone with dementia.

With gratitude,
George's Wife

P.S. I continue to pray that Tom will be in good enough shape for your daughter's wedding.

Lilly, all of us have broken every rule on what to say and what to do or not do. That's NOTHING to feel guilty over. That's just daily living. I harbored the most guilt when my mother died in 1996. For the last 20 years, I've been carrying it, sad that as an only child, with very few living relatives living (my father died when I was 18, the glue that kept us all together), that she and I couldn't have figured out a way to have had a better, hands on, more loving relationship. She lived in one state, I was in working full time in another, and Eddie was in another. I wasn't there for her the way I should have been in the prime of my career, and challenging dealing with the "last five years" I just had to continue working (for a retirement pension), while her Asian doctor told me I needed to live with her and handle her affairs. She was dying. I was there off and on, I hired people to come in, and did all the right things financially for her. I just didn't provide the "emotional" support what she really needed the most. And for that, that's where the guilt sets in. I am sad but I finally have come to terms with it. I tried, I did the best I could do, and that's all you can ask for. In prayer, I've asked her for her forgiveness a million times. Dealing with MCI, Alzheimers, Dementia - any serious medical situation like cancer, etc. - is full time. and a commitment. Why feel guilty over anything. My God, You are giving it your all, even at the detriment of your own health. I don't have guilt, I feel fear of the unknown. And obviously, so much daily confusion having been pushed out of my house where the financial aspect of what we're up against is stifling, and to where I'm having to make future plans on selling the house after the remodel, where we go, where should we go short or long term based on a progressive disease, and all the other decisions I have to make because of his last year's diagnosis.
I have to make all these decisions alone with where we go, what we do, while the "elephant" in the room is his memory loss, his probable progression, and the stress associated with increased caregiving. Please don't feel guilt. Love yourself, for everything you continue to do for George and for others on this site. Love, Karla