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I'm Disappearing
The way my husband speaks now completely dismisses me, as if I don't exist.
Today he referred back to a concert that we went to together, saying "I went to his concert." I immediately followed with, "WE went to that concert together." I always try to get myself back in his world where I belong.
Sorry for the grammar talk, but he's most often using the first person tense, talking just about himself when the events included or include both of us.
I know the reason he is self-focused, however it is heart-wrenching nonetheless.
We share so much history together, now so much is lost.
Next month we'll celebrate our 40th anniversary. I no longer expect gifts, cards or any effort whatsoever (having learned over the years it's not on his radar screen).
I strive to remain relevant in my husband's life (and not just from a caregiver point of view), I just must.
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@kmliste
You have a right to be angry but not at me. I did not intend to diagnose anything. I tried to say you need to take care of yourself. Your road is a tough one. (I am a social worker speaking from my experiences.)
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4 Reactions@tsch You are right about this, for sure. One day at a time. Take good care!
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2 Reactions@tsch
We can argue infinitum. I talked with a my counselor and showed the context and your statements. She said it was okay to call you out because of the site parameters and boundaries. I respect that you are a social worker. I am a newly retired physician.
I do hope you will accept my apology for hurting your feelings. I think you meant well.
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3 Reactions@kmliste
I am not arguing. Sorry if you feel we are. You do not need to apologize and I understand where you are coming from. (My feelings are not easily hurt.) My comments were only to be helpful to you and others. Whether we are social workers or physicians, in the end we are just people trying to do the best we can with life’s challenges. I did mean well. Sorry if I offended you.
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4 Reactions@kmliste Hi there, I’m not a gardener but I love taking photos when I get the time to be outside! Gets my mind off things and seeing natural beauty is healing ❤️🩹
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6 Reactions@gratia
I agree! Loved your photo of the echinacea. Here is one for you! These smell so good and just in case you are not familiar with this plant, they bloom at night.
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7 Reactions@gratia The other day I watched a bird fledge. Momma bird was close by all the way!
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2 Reactions@tsch We’re good. Thank you. I just did not understand the bad marriage part or the not clear about dementia.
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2 Reactions@kmliste Thank you for sharing - that is gorgeous. It reminds me of a gardenia. Is it a tropical flower? I’ve never seen one of those before. ✨
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1 Reaction@kmliste Thats such a special sighting! I love watching baby birds learning. I saw a tiny sparrow baby who was watching a big grackle drinking water out of a bird bath. The tiny sparrow flew up and copied the other bird. It’s really amazing to see things happening in nature. It puts things into perspective quickly for us.❤️✨
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5 Reactions