@parus Receiving your post an hour ago and still staring at it, trying to answer in my head first and won't come out. I was brought up to sweep everything under the carpet and that's what I am trying to do. Yes, I have PTSD that's all I can say right now. I've never talked about it except to tell the Doctor's I have it and that's as far as it went. They never told me anything about it. A lot came together after reading your post! PTSD has been the cause of most of my mental illness. It has played a large part anyway. I dream of screaming for help and no one is hearing me or the words aren't coming out. I will pick up where I left off later when it's clear in my head..
Lorraine
It is possible to have a group chat. Some programs are free, some charge. But it works really well... if it's something several people really would value and will benefit from we should look into it.
For anyone living w/ PTSD symptoms vary. I had some terrible experiences w/ therapists and this did nothing but increase my symptoms. I was misdiagnosed and loaded up w/ anti psychotics which were so wrong-One therapist ended up w/ a 99 year suspension on her license and is still harassing and stalking me which is so difficult. I moved once and she found me...I did not file the charges against this therapist.
Living in fear is not the way to live out the rest of my life...I live in fear for my family too. I don't know where 2 of my adult children live because of this mess w/ someone that was supposed to be helping...I find it hard to trust.
I have grand children too. I live in fear for them. This sicko caused much harm to others as well. One less predator in the mental health system.
Maybe I can get some help from others. I grew up being abused and did not know as I partitioned by brain into other parts and did not need to deal...now I am trying to have some kind of life and fear has driven me back from others.
I can understand that some have been helped by the mental health system...I don't think there is help there or anywhere.
Good evening, @parus. It is late, and I am sure that you are probably not up right now. I can identify with both what a couple of others have said on here, as well as the things you have mentioned. I was a licensed social worker for many years until a client made accusations against me and started stalking me.
I thought I had seen everything. Abuse, drug houses, neglect, con artists, incest, rapists, and all kinds of criminal behavior.
Gangs, death threats by gang members, psychiatrists who just sat there and didn't say a word. Being on the Autism Spectrum and not even knowing it, I was already anxious and depressed. So I never told any therapist about all the bad things that had happened to me. I had enough labels.
I had horrible, vivid nightmares. Still do, to this day. I had a head injury in the early 2000's, which is what reactivated my
Fibromyalgia, which had been gone for years.
Now I have flares that seem to last forever. They bring up depression, feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and loneliness. But one good thing has come out of it all. I am learning to say "no."
I am learning to not be a people pleaser. And to stand up for what I believe in. I try to understand my feelings, and think things through. I do try to face my fears, but I am still protective of my family.
I want to thank you for sharing your story. You inspire me and help me to be honest with myself. I hope that I can "talk" with you again sometime. Have a lovely day tomorrow!
Mamacita
I have been having a dreadful time flipping in and out. PTSD I suppose. I cannot even open my patio verticals. I like being outside but not for now. Been doing some drawing of memories all jumbled. I can do more than draw and paint-sometimes.
Dear@parus, your drawing/artwork is simply beautiful! Out of the ashes, something beautiful had been created.Thank you for sharing your heart, and your gift. I have seen and experienced so many horrid things, some times I am just grateful that I can put one foot in front of the other. At other times depression bogs me down, usually when I am experiencing chronic pain.
You make me feel like I am not alone. These things happened to me. They were real, the stuff of Stephen King novels.
But I survived. I'm still here. And you're still here. We both have a right to be here.
Dear@mcri, I just saw your post and I just had to respond. There are many wonderful counselors, therapists, social workers, pastoral counselors, and psychiatrists out there. To find the right "fit" takes time. You must investigate and even interview!
After all, you will be seeing this person for a pretty decent amount of time. It's not necessary for therapy to drag on for years. But what is necessary is for you to gain credible references from friends who have been their patients.
If they take your insurance, that is great. It's better than having to pay out of pocket every time. But if you should find say, a Pastoral Counselling Center, and they take cash, you will find they are more short term. Generally, their treatment plans will not last as long, but they will give you many tools to take with you.
So there are different options available. And different support groups that don't cost anything. CoDependent Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Celebrate Recovery, and other groups meet regularly. I assure you that you will find lots of people who have
been through many of the very same things that you have endured.
You are to be commended for reaching out. It is not easy to take the steps toward healing. It takes courage, and you have already shown that by coming here. You will find that there are so many people who understand your feelings and have lived with many of the same circumstances that you have. You are not alone. Talking about what bothers you is the first step I am sending you safe hugs. I hope that you can find some more time soon where we can talk. Blessings to you!
Mamacita.
I have PTSD. Mine might have started when I was young but definitely 11 years ago from my second lung cancer on. I am riding the rim of it now. That means that I am sometimes in and sometimes out. I found that therapy and exercise and meds have helped. Please tell me more.
I have PTSD. Mine might have started when I was young but definitely 11 years ago from my second lung cancer on. I am riding the rim of it now. That means that I am sometimes in and sometimes out. I found that therapy and exercise and meds have helped. Please tell me more.
Thank you 4 mentioning PTSD. I'm also bipolar and added my 2cents about Effexor. But PTSD might be my biggest brain drag. Guns pointed at my head. And now the city I live in (St Louis Missouri USA) is so crime ridden there are daily murders. I leave my house only when I feel I can protect myself. I plan to move, am looking online for crimeless towns to check out. I WILL check them out b4 I move.
@stlouisgmajenn do you know what set off your PTSD? You have it doubly tough with bipolar. I don't know how you do it but I agree, moving would be your best move.
Does anyone else have difficulties in waiting rooms??? At a recent visit I wrote a poem whilst waiting. Anyone that can identify with my feelings on my waiting room experience??
"Waiting Room PTSD"
Waiting room and all the trauma-
The morning news filled with drama...
Can someone please press mute?
I do not care nor do I give a hoot
About the robberies and death-
All of the violence robs my breath.
Endless mega-hype of radars
When I look to the sky and stars.
Technology all around and about-
The noise I try hard to block out!
All of the darkness through the waves
While silence my minds desperately craves.
As for that horrific. slamming automatic door...
I turn wrong side out and seek the floor.
There is nothing to block nor to bring
To block the next slam or cell phone ring.
Yes, this was written in the waiting room amid all of the racket.
Does anyone else have difficulties in waiting rooms??? At a recent visit I wrote a poem whilst waiting. Anyone that can identify with my feelings on my waiting room experience??
"Waiting Room PTSD"
Waiting room and all the trauma-
The morning news filled with drama...
Can someone please press mute?
I do not care nor do I give a hoot
About the robberies and death-
All of the violence robs my breath.
Endless mega-hype of radars
When I look to the sky and stars.
Technology all around and about-
The noise I try hard to block out!
All of the darkness through the waves
While silence my minds desperately craves.
As for that horrific. slamming automatic door...
I turn wrong side out and seek the floor.
There is nothing to block nor to bring
To block the next slam or cell phone ring.
Yes, this was written in the waiting room amid all of the racket.
What an excellent use of your time. I usually just get twitchy. Now I'll write. Thanks so much. You might have saved someones life and me a lifetime of bologna sandwiches.
Thank you 4 mentioning PTSD. I'm also bipolar and added my 2cents about Effexor. But PTSD might be my biggest brain drag. Guns pointed at my head. And now the city I live in (St Louis Missouri USA) is so crime ridden there are daily murders. I leave my house only when I feel I can protect myself. I plan to move, am looking online for crimeless towns to check out. I WILL check them out b4 I move.
Hi there. I am in the same boat as you as I have bipolar and ptsd. Moving is good but wherever you are there will still be crime. You will find a better place. Then somehow working with a bipolar and ptsd mind is very, very difficult but the moving will help. Keeping busy is also good but remember, both bipolar and ptsd will always be there. Time does help and the old memories get some what better but then there will always be new episodes because that is life. Continue to believe in yourself and love yourself. There is no control over other peoples actions. This comes from an 81 year old lady. Wish I could do more. There are people who do care for you, now you must care for yourself. With love Peach
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It is possible to have a group chat. Some programs are free, some charge. But it works really well... if it's something several people really would value and will benefit from we should look into it.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 ReactionsGood evening, @parus. It is late, and I am sure that you are probably not up right now. I can identify with both what a couple of others have said on here, as well as the things you have mentioned. I was a licensed social worker for many years until a client made accusations against me and started stalking me.
I thought I had seen everything. Abuse, drug houses, neglect, con artists, incest, rapists, and all kinds of criminal behavior.
Gangs, death threats by gang members, psychiatrists who just sat there and didn't say a word. Being on the Autism Spectrum and not even knowing it, I was already anxious and depressed. So I never told any therapist about all the bad things that had happened to me. I had enough labels.
I had horrible, vivid nightmares. Still do, to this day. I had a head injury in the early 2000's, which is what reactivated my
Fibromyalgia, which had been gone for years.
Now I have flares that seem to last forever. They bring up depression, feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and loneliness. But one good thing has come out of it all. I am learning to say "no."
I am learning to not be a people pleaser. And to stand up for what I believe in. I try to understand my feelings, and think things through. I do try to face my fears, but I am still protective of my family.
I want to thank you for sharing your story. You inspire me and help me to be honest with myself. I hope that I can "talk" with you again sometime. Have a lovely day tomorrow!
Mamacita
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 ReactionsDear@parus, your drawing/artwork is simply beautiful! Out of the ashes, something beautiful had been created.Thank you for sharing your heart, and your gift. I have seen and experienced so many horrid things, some times I am just grateful that I can put one foot in front of the other. At other times depression bogs me down, usually when I am experiencing chronic pain.
You make me feel like I am not alone. These things happened to me. They were real, the stuff of Stephen King novels.
But I survived. I'm still here. And you're still here. We both have a right to be here.
Safe hugs,
Mamacita
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsDear@mcri, I just saw your post and I just had to respond. There are many wonderful counselors, therapists, social workers, pastoral counselors, and psychiatrists out there. To find the right "fit" takes time. You must investigate and even interview!
After all, you will be seeing this person for a pretty decent amount of time. It's not necessary for therapy to drag on for years. But what is necessary is for you to gain credible references from friends who have been their patients.
If they take your insurance, that is great. It's better than having to pay out of pocket every time. But if you should find say, a Pastoral Counselling Center, and they take cash, you will find they are more short term. Generally, their treatment plans will not last as long, but they will give you many tools to take with you.
So there are different options available. And different support groups that don't cost anything. CoDependent Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Celebrate Recovery, and other groups meet regularly. I assure you that you will find lots of people who have
been through many of the very same things that you have endured.
You are to be commended for reaching out. It is not easy to take the steps toward healing. It takes courage, and you have already shown that by coming here. You will find that there are so many people who understand your feelings and have lived with many of the same circumstances that you have. You are not alone. Talking about what bothers you is the first step I am sending you safe hugs. I hope that you can find some more time soon where we can talk. Blessings to you!
Mamacita.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 ReactionsI have PTSD. Mine might have started when I was young but definitely 11 years ago from my second lung cancer on. I am riding the rim of it now. That means that I am sometimes in and sometimes out. I found that therapy and exercise and meds have helped. Please tell me more.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsThank you 4 mentioning PTSD. I'm also bipolar and added my 2cents about Effexor. But PTSD might be my biggest brain drag. Guns pointed at my head. And now the city I live in (St Louis Missouri USA) is so crime ridden there are daily murders. I leave my house only when I feel I can protect myself. I plan to move, am looking online for crimeless towns to check out. I WILL check them out b4 I move.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions@stlouisgmajenn do you know what set off your PTSD? You have it doubly tough with bipolar. I don't know how you do it but I agree, moving would be your best move.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsDoes anyone else have difficulties in waiting rooms??? At a recent visit I wrote a poem whilst waiting. Anyone that can identify with my feelings on my waiting room experience??
"Waiting Room PTSD"
Waiting room and all the trauma-
The morning news filled with drama...
Can someone please press mute?
I do not care nor do I give a hoot
About the robberies and death-
All of the violence robs my breath.
Endless mega-hype of radars
When I look to the sky and stars.
Technology all around and about-
The noise I try hard to block out!
All of the darkness through the waves
While silence my minds desperately craves.
As for that horrific. slamming automatic door...
I turn wrong side out and seek the floor.
There is nothing to block nor to bring
To block the next slam or cell phone ring.
Yes, this was written in the waiting room amid all of the racket.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 ReactionsWhat an excellent use of your time. I usually just get twitchy. Now I'll write. Thanks so much. You might have saved someones life and me a lifetime of bologna sandwiches.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 ReactionsHi there. I am in the same boat as you as I have bipolar and ptsd. Moving is good but wherever you are there will still be crime. You will find a better place. Then somehow working with a bipolar and ptsd mind is very, very difficult but the moving will help. Keeping busy is also good but remember, both bipolar and ptsd will always be there. Time does help and the old memories get some what better but then there will always be new episodes because that is life. Continue to believe in yourself and love yourself. There is no control over other peoples actions. This comes from an 81 year old lady. Wish I could do more. There are people who do care for you, now you must care for yourself. With love Peach
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 Reactions