Dealing with adult son with mental health: Parents want to share?

@riverbendab I’m sorry you are going through this too. Is your son taking any medication? Are there shelters there in Calgary he would go to in order to be out of the cold? Here in our town in Wyoming there is one but they only let you stay a week. Wyoming is very bad when it comes to mental health care. I think we are going to move him back to Colorado for better resources

@riverbendab
I understand what you are saying. It is the disease completely taking over. The addiction is now in control of his life, not him.
Of course, I want my only child to be in my life forever. I can "address" not confront him in a loving, safe and non-judgement way. My purpose would be to plant a seed. I have no idea if it will take. Only he can help his addiction - not me. But I want him to know - I am here to help him overcome his addiction. I will always be in his corner.
If I say nothing, continue to walk on eggshells when he visits...making myself sick with the stress of all that - what if, God forbid, he accidentally or purposely overdoses and dies?
Can I live with myself...knowing I KNEW of his addiction and said nothing to him? Never offering my understanding, help, support and unconditional love?
He is not living with me, he is not asking me for money, he is not a threat to me or to others (only himself)...yes, he does hurt me by not showing up for me. But, again, that's the drugs.
I would regret forever and be barely alive if I never reached out to discuss this issue with him and he died. And he surely could die from all that he is doing and taking, he's killing himself.

My 30yr old son experienced prodromal/1st episode psychosis around 4yrs ago. It runs in my family but sadly UK MH services didn’t listen when he approached for help & he was untreated for around 18months.
Similar to you I am now navigating our new dynamic which is full of suspicion, accusation and him isolating but also not functioning that well, meaning I often need to compromise healthy boundaries and endure his horrible treatment of me to ensure he eats & has his basic needs met.
We used to be so close and he was so loving. He was the funniest person to be around and had so many friends, ran his own business.
I totally understand what you are going through. The sadness is overwhelming sometimes right?

Last nite I couldn't sleep. My son kept coming in my room standing over me as I slept. It was the creepiest thing I ever experienced. I asked him what he was doing and he left. Later on he came back and I saw him at the door. I yelled out his name and he rushed into the bathroom and closed the door. Then I stood up at the door, with the light off and he started to come back. He was startled. He always had a pad and pen in his hand. Then I propped the dog cage against the door. He came back, and I yelled out his name to go to bed. During the morning I asked him why he kept coming to my room. He said he wanted to write down some answers to the family secret. But earlier he said I was trying to sabotage him. I was so frightened. As I write this, I want to throw up. I am fighting for him but I feel like I'm losing the battle.

@zoew38 That’s disappointing to hear about the lack of mental health care from the UK. I had thought it would be much better there. Sending prayers your way for his recovery. I’m going thru the same thing with our son. Is your son receiving any treatment at all? Is he able to work and live independently?

@bewildered thank you for your kind words. He is now receiving treatment (an antipsychotic depot) -but only after becoming so unwell he was detained twice under section. He has regained some functioning but I don’t think he’ll ever return to how he was because he was untreated for so long. I wish you all the love with your journey. It’s so so hard for them and for us xx

@amotherslove2 This is similar to how it started off with my son, when he was 21, on Xmas break from college, right before his diagnosis of bipolar 1 disorder. He was acting very strangely, not sleeping and kept coming into our room during the night telling us he wanted to talk to us about a secret or something. We kept telling him to go to bed to no avail. It was like he was on drugs but he wasn’t. We took him to hospital in the mornin for an evaluation and that was the start of this long 10 yr journey through mental illness. I’m not saying that your son has the same thing, but I think you should get him evaluated and he can get treatment, if necessary. Please stay in touch, sending prayers your way.

@bewildered thank you for your kind words. He is now receiving treatment (an antipsychotic depot) -but only after becoming so unwell he was detained twice under section. He has regained some functioning but I don’t think he’ll ever return to how he was because he was untreated for so long. I wish you all the love with your journey. It’s so so hard for them and for us xx

@bewildered Wow!! This so Wild.. He was dx’d with Bipolar also.. He is a new med, I am trying to buy him some time, for it to get him his system.. I don’t want him mishandled by the cops again….. Ihaveaquestion for you. Are you involved with NAMI? I just wondering how much they get involved.. Thanks for listening…

@amotherslove2 hello there, my son has been involved with cops before too in order to get him to hospital. It just makes things scarier I agree, luckily the few times he hospitalized he agreed to go on his own with us. I have not contacted NAMI, But this 10 year long journey with him and his mental illness has been so hard on me and my marriage that I am thinking about it. I just don’t know what they can do to help. Let me know if u contact them how it goes.