Dealing with adult son with mental health: Parents want to share?

@missmyboy I am sorry you are going through this. Did he have a reason for going to the Phillipines? Did he quit a job and make plans to stay there for awhile? Just trying to understand his motivation

@missmyboy So very sorry to hear this, a beyond difficult, heart felt pain situation.
Do you have relatives there he could be staying with? Does he have friends there? Hope his living situation is safe for him.
I have no idea what the mental health system is like in the Philippines. If you find an address where he is staying perhaps a crisis mental health team could reach him for an evaluation. Or if you can manage to find contact with relatives or friends he may be staying with. Do you feel he is living on the streets? Obviously he is delusional, paranoid and has a thought disorder. I am not a psychiatrist but he could be experiencing paranoid schizophrenia. A very serious mental health disorder. If it turns out it is possible to have him mentally evaluation in the Philippine make sure the "contact" person initiating a psychiatric call tell the team he IS a danger to himself...which he is!
He belongs, right now, under inpatient psychiatric care. Especially so if he was taking his psychiatric medications before he left and, now, obviously not. But if all I wrote is completely undoable for you...yes, pray for him. And you must take care of yourself! You must!
It is very possible he may return home. And you need to be in top mental and physical health to help him. I certainly feel for you. So much is out of our control when our children are adults and find themselves in serious trouble. So very often are hands are tied due to HIPPA laws and the like. Don't give up hope...this situation will eventually change - by its very nature, it will. Blessings.

He had not worked in about a year. He sold a home and I think he may have been living off savings. He was always good with money before he became ill. I don't believe he knows anyone there. I asked him why there and he believes the government here wants him dead. I reach out weekly hoping to get a response even though he usually makes no sense. I have no control over his assets here. He doesn't believe I'm me but a doppelganger

@briarrose

I don't believe he knows anyone there. I had asked why he went there. He thinks he's safer there, he thinks our government wants him dead and thinks I'm an imposter working for the government. I have no control over his assets here. I fear he will lose everything. I don't even know where in the Philippines he is. This is a nightmare 😫 thank you for responding

@bewildered

I understand completely what you're going through. I'm going through this myself. My son doesn't believe he has an illness and refuses to see a doctor. My other son called the police but they didn't see him as a threat so that was that. Now he has left the country. I will pray for you. The heartbreak is unbearable

@hopeseeker22 I do get it. Completely understand, what could be will never be. The lives of your family completely shattered by mental illness, the loss of your daughter as she once was. No words to truly comfort you. I am guessing you and your family have a strong support system in place, if not get one! Lots of mental health organizations and support groups for families impacted by mental illness are out there. Read lots of material too, lots of books for families to help them cope with the unthinkable. Of upmost importance is maintaining your health and your family's health. Physical and mental. Continue with your own therapy work. And, so very important, your therapist is right. Do not go bankrupt trying to help/save her!!
Gradually hold back funds for her. There are group mental health homes where she ultimately can live. You must, you must take care of your own finances! What good will it be for you to lose everything ($$)...what will happen to your adult daughter is so much out of your control. Since she is living with you - should she experience out of control episodes - do not hesitate to call 911 or your emergency personnel where you live. She needs to be safe and so do you!
Don't give up your life for her. Yes, be there for her within reason. You certainly have already gone above and beyond for her at this point in time. You are drowning. You must save yourself. Slowly but surely take back your life. You deserve to! Mend your entire family...as best you can and it WILL involve letting her go. Since you say she is a very good nurse working, she is making $$$. Perhaps time for her to manage her own little apartment. She can do this as long as she maintains her medications, therapy, psychiatric visits and do ALL that is recommended by her treatment team. She didn't ask for this - no one did. But you must accept her for exactly for the road she alone must travel. This is HER journey in life. Not yours. She is not a child anymore. For whatever reason, God chose this path for you. Heart-breaking as it is. I more than feel for you...I have a 41 year old son also with severe mental illness and we are struggling to find the right medications for him. He too is working but lives in another state...he can function to a great extent. Then days in bed...unable to move, completely paralyzed. So I get it. At my age, I am trying to live my life DESPITE the life my beloved son, my only child is living. His potential so great but seemingly lost at this point.
I worked very hard my entire life. I deserve NOT to give up my life...for my son's life. But I am forever and always there for him if needed - WITHIN REASON. My love for him is unconditional. Don't give up hope. Try to find your own peace in this. And stay strongly connected to your faith/higher power. Oftentimes, the only thing, the best thing to do is - pray. Blessings to you.

@missmyboy Yes, it is an unthinkable nightmare. Continue to reach out to him. Perhaps you will find where he is and contact the right authorities. You don't mention his age or how long he has been sick...if he had any treatment in the US. If he had a former mental health treatment team, is there anything they can do? At this point, if you didn't know before, he is suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and needs medication for stabilization. Perhaps "something" will happen in the Philippines and he will be brought to the attention of police or mental health and he will be admitted to an impatient psychiatric facility there. In the meantime, please take care of your health. And try to think - all of this, right now, is out of your control completely. And if a mother of faith - give this burden to God/Higher Power.
I will pray for you.

He is 45 years old. He started acting irrational about 5 years ago and got worse over time. He refused to seek medical help. He doesn't believe there is anything wrong. Losing his 9 year old daughter in a custody dispute was the last straw. He believed his lawyer and the judge was working with the government to destroy him. I thought the thought of family court would motivate him to see a doctor but didn't work out that way. I love and miss him very much and worry